Will All of the Real Moms Please Stand Up?

Will All of the Real Moms Please Stand Up

Why? Why do we do it to ourselves?

We’re all just moms.

Why do we think (even though we know better) that all the other moms have everything under control, all of the time?  Why do we see messes in our own homes and feel badly because the other moms surely never have messes like the ones we have?  Or at least not as often as we do?  Why do we sometimes feel like a failure when our kids don’t obey…again?

Why do we sometimes feel like we aren’t doing a good enough job?  Why do we think that our kids are the only ones who throw fits?

Why does it seem like my children are the only ones who haven’t learned to put their games away before they get out another toy to play with?

Haven’t I trained them well enough?  Haven’t I told them the same things over and over again?

Do any of these thoughts go through your head when you and your kids are having a bad day?  Do you tend to assume that your kids are the only ones that (fill in the blank)?

I’m here to tell you that there are many times that:

  • My kids don’t obey me the first time.
  • My floor has toys all over the place (mixed in with dirt and dust bunnies).
  • My kids have boogers on the end their fingers and they just don’t seem to know what to do with them.
  • Nobody can find matching and/or clean socks.
  • My kids would rather not change their clothes.
  • My kids want to argue with me.
  • My kids fight with each other.
  • No one (but me) can see the junk under the dresser that needs to be picked up.
  • My bathrooms smell like pee.  (C’mon boys…learn to aim already.)

When those things happen, I can second guess myself and the fact that I really am doing a good job with this mothering/homemaking thing God has called me to do.

I can feel like I’m failing at the most important job I’ve been given, second to being my husband’s help meet, but of course sometimes I’m really struggling with that one too.

And I feel like everyone else must be doing a much better job than I am.

And that surely none of the other Christian wives and mothers out there feel this way.  Because the other Christian wives and mothers surely never get frustrated or behind on their work or overwhelmed.  Because the other Christian wives and mothers are all more organized than I am and probably pray more than I do and train their kids better than I do and have a meek and quiet spirit and always have a gentle answer for their precious little ones.

Yeah…it’s all a lie.

A big fat juicy lie (with a booger on top).

We are not alone.

Our job is a work in progress.  Continually.  All the time.  Forever and ever amen.

The training and the loving and the nurturing and the cleaning and the crying and the praying…it’s continual.

We train and we work and we pray and we just keep doing it.  Day after day.

Guess what Moms?  That’s what ALL of us are doing.  Day after day.

Training children to be like Jesus is the hardest job on this earth.  Training them to be like Jesus in the middle of trying to grow to be like Jesus ourselves….

Yeah, Satan doesn’t like that very much.

That’s why he makes it so hard.  He doesn’t want to us to succeed.

And he really wants you to think that you are the only one who is struggling.

So, if you are a real mom – the kind that has imperfect children and an imperfect home?  The kind that is working really, really hard to train your children to be like Jesus.  The kind that has a hard time keeping up with every single thing that needs to be done every single day.  The kind that is  plugging away and striving to be Godly, but not quite reaching perfection.

The kind of mom that relies continually on the grace of God and on His loving mercy.

Won’t you please join me in acknowledging this battle we’re in together?

I’d love it if all us real moms would please leave a comment here on this post.  Even if all you do is sign your name.  Or simply say, “Yes, I’m a real mom.”

Or, if you’re really feeling brave – go ahead and tell us about your latest parenting/homemaking struggle.  Because we’ve all been there done that (or if we haven’t yet…we probably will tomorrow).

And then the next time any real mom out there is having a bad day or needs a little reassurance -

She can come here to this post and be reminded by the list of all of us other real moms that she is a part of a community of other women doing many of the same things she is doing everyday.  And struggling with many of the same things she is struggling with day after day….

And we’ll all know that we are not alone.

From one real mom to another…Thank You.

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Comments

  1. Kristine says

    Love your blog! I was recently introduced to it by Amanda @ Better Is Little.

    We are at the very beginning of our healthy eating journey. You’re such an encouragement!

    We have 6 children: oldest daughter,6, twins, daughter,5 & son,5, daughter,4, son,2, & daughter, 11 1/2 mos.

    Let’s just say that I’m glad our walls don’t talk! They’d say things like, “And she calls herself a Christian?” “Those poor children, listen to her pitching a fit!”

    It’s a bit overwhelming, but I know the LORD’s way is the best! I could not ask for better children! They are a joy!

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  2. Erica says

    I’ve been reading your blog for several months, and came back to read this post, because it is such an encouragement. Thank you for being honest, thank you for your encouragement. I, too, am a real mom.

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  3. Chrissy says

    I needed to read this today, as I’m exhausted & feeling overwhelmed. Nice to read as it reminded me I’m not alone & no one is perfect.

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  4. Andrea says

    Love, love, love this! I totally feel that way sometimes, and we have 4 kids (10, 6, 5, and 2), and my husband is in the military and travels a lot. SO glad you were brave enough to type it out, and it totally happens here too!!

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  5. Rachelle says

    Yep, I am a real mom as well. So humbled by you and all that I read on your blog. Thank you for being so real!

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  6. Laura says

    Thank you for reminding me that doing God’s will isn’t always easy and it teaches me to be humble and patient. And boy oh boy does the devil NOT want me to homeschool and teach my girls to follow Jesus.

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  7. Christy says

    Just what I needed to hear. I hate the voice in my head that says “You can’t handle the kids you’ve got. What makes you think you should have more?” Every day is a challenge that I’m happy to face with my Lord. THank you God that I’m not alone!

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  8. Joy says

    Thank you for that! I feel like I’m the only mom who doesn’t have everything under control, but then again, just because people say their lives are perfect or act like it, doesn’t really mean that everything at home IS perfect…we need to cut ourselves a break. We should strive to do our best, but remember that this life will sometimes be a mess! We have something perfect to look forward to later on, and it lasts for eternity!! I love being home with my children, I wouldn’t miss it for anything :-)

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  9. Susan Alexander says

    I’m a real mom… I struggle with keeping toilets clean and getting myself off the computer to spend time with my kids… We all struggle.

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  10. Paula L says

    My life has turned upside down. We found out the dear father of our 7 children has a prolactinoma, a tumor of the pituitary gland about 1 inch big around and encasing the pit and maybe even the optical nerve or nerves.. We were doctoring for hypothyroidism when a new doctor found this for us just last Friday March 31st. Yesterday we received news of the tumor. I am so scared, night time is the worst. I am Paula Lucas and Husband Nathan Lucas family of Kalona, Iowa. We so need your prayers. May GOd have mercy on us and stop the rapid growth, tha t we can learn and grow and come out on the other side better. That my husband would not lose His eyesight, that they can get all the tumor out… Thank you and please forgive me for any bother.. so desperate feelling right now..

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    Karen Reply:

    Paula, I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s tumor. I am sending prayerrs that wll will be cured through God who gives us strength. Know that others do care and are prayeing with you!

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    Laura Reply:

    Praying for you and your family, Paula.

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    Tera Knapp Reply:

    So sorry to hear of your family’s struggle with cancer!
    Saying a prayer for you right now!

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    Vicki Reply:

    Praying for you and your family. May God give you strength and bless your husband with healing.

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    Jennifer Reply:

    kids and i praying for you now

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    Sunshine Reply:

    Paula, I just read your post from this past April. Your family will be in my prayers.
    How are all of you doing? I am also praying that you have a good support system of family and Christian brothers and sisters that are walking with you in this difficult time.

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  11. Chris, mommy of eight says

    As a mom who has 4 biologically and 4 adopted, people almost elevate me to sainthood when they hear we have adopted 4. I sometimes feel pressure to be perfect when they say “I don’t know how you do it.”. Well the truth is sometimes I don’t do it!! Sometimes especially Sunday mornings my house looks like a tornado hit it! Many days there is a basket of clean laundry in my room helplessly waiting to be folded only to be joined by a new load… I am a real mom too and no, I don’t alway have the perfectly clean house. Yes I do raise my voice at my children over trivial things. But with the Lord’s tender mercy I try my best and although I fail more often than I care to admit, I keep going with His grace. Thank you for your honesty.

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  12. Angela Robison says

    Oh my, it is so easy to believe we are alone when we KNOW we are not! THANK-YOU for the reminder!! I am a real mom, trying each day, to do a little better than the day before – sometimes it works, sometimes I back track. But, God so wonderfully helps me keep pressing on toward the goal. Blessings to all mothers out there!

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  13. Annie says

    I am sooo a real mum (we say that with a u here in Australia) to 6 children. Today I lost it a bit when my 3 1/2 year old pulled the knitting off my needles while I was grinding wheat to make bread and now the kids are outside throwing things at each other while I am trying to find a pasta recipe on the internet. Oh and did I mention that none of them talk, they only yell, in spite of my continuous “soft voices guys”. Real mum for sure!

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  14. Tera Knapp says

    As I am reading this, I’m trying not to feel guilty about the mountain if dishes I need to do. (That’s just the first task I need to tackle.) Thank you Laura for the reminder that Satan is a work here, too. Thanks for all real Moms for sharing, too.

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    Tera Knapp Reply:

    To add to the above: Not to sound like a pessimist, I am also
    trusting in the power and grace of the Lord!

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  15. Cassi says

    Thank you. It’s nice to be reminded that I’m not alone in this tornado-path of imperfection. When the kids refuse to cooperate, dinner’s not done when I want it to be, and the house looks like the wrath of God even though I KNOW I spent all day working on it, it’s hard to feel like you’re doing it right.

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  16. Paula L says

    Update on Paula’s hubby and family and being a REAL MOM in a crisis. GOD is answering many prayers and taking my mothering skills to a new level through all this. Thank you for all the prayers. We are finding peace in the storm. The diagnosis is not as desperate or scary as it was at first.. We are adjusting to a new normal.. DH is on a med to shrink tumor and lower prolactin levels, NO surgery YET!! ?.. I am working on being more nurturing to my family, though, would like to run and hide at times.. Thank you DEAR PEOPLE for praying for a stranger!! I feel those prayers and that is what will get us through..

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    Melissa J. Reply:

    Praying for you, your husband, and your family.

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  17. Melissa J. says

    I’m a real mom. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get this house to look the way I want it to. Thanks to all you other real moms out there! It’s nice to know I’m not the only imperfect one on the quest to bring up a holy family and keep a nice home. <3

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  18. says

    I’m a real mom to 5 girls ages 7 months to 18 years. It feels like the baby is never happy unless I hold her, which I do while I work, all the while my arm cramps and some days I think… really? I used carriers but now she tries to escape them. O.O My now 3 yr old thinks she is WAY smarter than me, and some days I agree. My 5 year old talks all the time wanting my full attention and I find myself saying, “Not right now honey,” more than I would like. My 10 yr old is entering an early puberty and is uber sensitive, crying at the drop of a hat. My 18 yr. old is super creative and off mentally half the time when I need her help. Today I lost my temper and yelled in front of the kids at my husband, which I never do. My days are filled with cleaning, noise, boogers, gassy children, (did I mention that I have all girls? lol) 2 puppies, one that eats its own poop, a new batch of fleas, cooking, baking, writing, (I’m an author), homeschooling, and Jesus. Yep, I’m a real mom!

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  19. Audra says

    I am indeed a real mom:) this article and several others touched my heart this morning!! I really didn’t realize how much I needed the encouragement and words of truth!!! At least once a day I think to myself….wow, I am such a failure at…..you fill in the blank!! or, these moms on the internet with all the blogs and tips are just so perfect! that can’t be real…but, what if it is….and I am just a failure!! I know in my heart that no one is perfect…but, man, it seems that way quite often:S Thank you so much for your candid words! so true! God’s approval and guidance is all that we need ever think about! everything else will follow behind:) Blessed with messes and struggles:) they make you appreciate the calm waters:) to all you other mommies out there…..keep your eyes looking up and God will guide your feet:)

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  20. Sheri Daniels says

    I So needed this today, this might be months or even years down the road from the first post,but is Definantly a Great Post! Thank You so much….
    Its so nice to hear that there are other Moms out there that are ‘REAL’!!
    ((hugs)) to all of you…… And God Bless You Laura for posting this Blog and giving us all Hope and Great Food!

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  21. Jeannette Grills says

    THANK YOU so much for BEING REAL!!! I went down your list and I said “same here” to all of them. Had a chuckle too because it’s so nice to see I’m not alone! God Bless!

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  22. says

    Real mom of seven here. Although the house is cleaner than it used to be when they were all very little, there’s all sorts of new attitudes and struggles now that four are teenagers. I’m facing sending the first to college and wondering if he will choose to follow the Lord… after 18 years of hearing the Truth. It’s scary. We all have to make our own choices.
    Great post. Thanks for keepin’ it real!

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  23. natalie says

    The UPS man said it best! One day I went to the door with at least 3 substances on my clothes; spit up, paint, the other unknown! He smiled and said, “Wow, you’re a real mom!”

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  24. Mandy says

    HA!!!
    Mountain of laundry – check
    Sink full of dishes – check
    I only REALLY clean the bathroom when we’re expecting company.
    HOWEVER….I have cookies baking in the oven and have been lying on the floor coloring on HUGE paper with my 2 kids (5 and 2) all morning! This is the life:) The beautiful, messy, sometimes chaotic, wonderful life!

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  25. Paula L. says

    Well, it seems like being a heavenly homemaker has just gotten harder. My daughter left home and called DHS on us. This is not want I thought my family would be like. This year has got to be the worst year of my life between this and my husband’s tumor. He is stable by the way and GOD is giving grace, but, we have a long way to go. The stress we are under with our daughter leaving unexpectedly is not helping any with his situation. Please pray for my daughter who is 18. Pray that she will turn her heart toward home. Thank you, my friends.

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    Laura Reply:

    Continuing to pray for you and your family…

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  26. Joanna says

    I am a very real mom, married to a very real husband, and we have two very real children! So glad you wrote this post! I tend to be one who thinks others have it all together… and that can make me discontent with my life. It’s good to be reminded we all have failures, and we all have strengths. Thanks!

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  27. Clarissa says

    All of this is so very true! What is perfection? Am I striving to reach the world’s view of perfection? Or perfection in love? Questions I ask often. I think the days when my house is a mess and my kids feel loved and nurtured, God approves. He approves the dust bunnies, 3 meals worth of “left overs” on the table, dishes piled high, dinner an hour late, and the wet diaper still in the corner. But sometimes I get so homemakery that I forget. Then I write “play with children” or “look at children” on my list of things to get done. Otherwise it’s just too easy to go from one task to another saying, “Just a minute, sweetheart,” or “After I get this done, okay.” Thank you to everyone who admits to not being perfect by the world’s standard! I am a real mom.

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  28. Kimberly Alexander says

    I have felt this way so many times! Thank you for sharing these thoughts and letting us know we are all in the same boat; trying to perfect “momhood/wifehood”. It does get over whelming at times when it all seems to be going wrong, and you are studying and praying to do things God’s way and the devil keeps throwing rocks (boulders!!) at you. We just can’t give up!

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  29. Katie (Proud, proud, proud Mother of three) says

    That’s right- I AM A REAL MAMA! My children don’t always listen. They argue. Are typical messy, wild and crazy children. And they fight with one another. Sometimes I honestly believe they could drive the Pope to pray. But they are mine, and a reflection of my never-ending love for them. There is nothing in this worlthat is more important. Yes, I struggle. Struggle with the messes, neverending laundry, patience (or sometimes lack thereof), paying the bills on time, and schedules (Shew, schedules).. I work full time, as does my sweet husband, and sometimes I wish there were more hours in the day to do it all, and enjoy it more. But at the end of the day I try to always remind myself that I am not perfect, I cannot always do it all, I have faults, my children won’t remember the messes but a mother and father who have alway been crazy in love with them and each ther. That we are so very blessed, safe, healthy, and loved. And most importantly, are not alone in this journey called life, as the dear Lord is walking with us every step of the way. So all you Mama’s give yourself a hug, cut yourself a break, and breathe…because as my Mama always said during tough and trying times, this too shall pass.

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  30. Mommadubya says

    As a mother I always strive to be perfect but in all reality I have already failed in my thinking. There r times that I go to bed at night upset with myself an the way I handled a particular situation with my two year old and promise myself that I will handle it differently tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes and I fail myself again. I am lucky to have a well behaved toddler and tons of help from my husband, mother, and in-laws but I can’t help but feel defeated on a day to day basis. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this struggle. I say a prayer ever night for all the mothers Out there and I hope that everyone is continuing to pray for me. God bless us all!

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  31. Carissa says

    I am a real mommy!! I love 2 Corinthians 12:9- “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” We are free to fail & be imperfect because Christ is strong & perfect FOR us!

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  32. says

    I am thankful for your post. I am a real momma. I have written several blogs about hos inadequate I feel, and am I suppose, at doing it all.

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  33. Sangeetha says

    Yes, yes, that sounds like it. My parenting struggle, the biggest one? Aren’t tantrums supposed to be limited to the terrible twos? I mean that a tad flippantly, as I am referring to myself, not my daughter who IS in her terrible twos. I don’t follow the Christian faith though I do believe that Jesus was a great soul.

    Question. If I choose to be notified of follow-up comments for one post and not on another, does you blog recognize it as 2 different requests or will the latest choice override the previous one(s)?

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    Laura Reply:

    It recognizes it as two different requests. You will continue to receive follow up emails from each post you’ve requested them from. :)

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  34. Lesslea says

    real momma here with the daily grind of a house full of living bulldozers to prove it! Found this website while trying to find recipes that line up with the maker’s diet. We started it 6 weeks ago and my littlest one with health issues is off medication and doing much better. It’s so nice to hear from other moms that care about their family and sacrifice pieces of themself (like perfection, relaxation and independence.. lol)to raise up a healthy family. Good Job ladies! I can tell I am going to love this webpage!

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  35. Alyssa says

    Just found your site today, and I feel so inspired by it. Thank you for your honesty, insights, and your great tips! I’m a real mom with 4 kids 8yrs and under. It is my favorite job ever– even on the bad days.

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  36. Kandice says

    I just found this website, and I’m making it my homepage!
    I have five sons, and find that the latest issue is convincing my 3 year old that he cannot wear the same underwear two days in a row. He really likes the camouflage print. And of course no, turning them backwards or inside out doesn’t mean they were clean on the other side.
    I’m still reminding my 5 year old that you can’t say, “I’ve washed my hands,” if you haven’t used soap! Come on. And here’s my slogan:
    “A simple thing, is simple to do.”
    All the best to you real Mom’s out there. :)

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  37. says

    Thanks, Laura for a very great post that hit home! We not only often have a mountain of laundry in our room that I try to get folded only to have more coming (I have frequently asked my family to just quit wearing clothes but my husband doesn’t feel that would be appropriate :) LOL! I was kidding of course) and my sink has a continual supply of dishes, etc, but we have animals that help make bigger messes. Though I have so many stories of home catastrophes I was thinking of writing a joke book :), one of my favorites was one of those rare days when my house was looking acceptable, I decided to tie our milk cow in various placesaround the outside of the house to eat down the grass as our mower was down. Our master bedroom has an exterior door with one of those pretty lever handles that you push down on, but it’s normally locked…well, after coming home from a trip to town, mt older son came running in from our room shouting to me that the cow was in our room!!! She not only got mud all over the floor, she ate a PILLOW CASE off a pillow and pooped in my husband’s slipper. I NEVER would have thought she would open the dor and come on in. Needless to say, I felt like an idiot and it was yet another mess I got to clean up. :) Good times! I am DEFINITELY a real mom!

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  38. Miranda says

    Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder others struggle and are not perfect, either.
    The thought continuously cross my mind, “am I only one not able to keep everything clean and organized.”

    Miranda

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  39. Eileen says

    Thank you for this blog!! I struggle with these feelings daily, it feels like this blog was written just for me! I am a real mom for sure!!

    [Reply]

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