Will All of the Real Moms Please Stand Up?
ByWhy? Why do we do it to ourselves?
We’re all just moms.
Why do we think (even though we know better) that all the other moms have everything under control, all of the time? Why do we see messes in our own homes and feel badly because the other moms surely never have messes like the ones we have? Or at least not as often as we do? Why do we sometimes feel like a failure when our kids don’t obey…again?
Why do we sometimes feel like we aren’t doing a good enough job? Why do we think that our kids are the only ones who throw fits?
Why does it seem like my children are the only ones who haven’t learned to put their games away before they get out another toy to play with?
Haven’t I trained them well enough? Haven’t I told them the same things over and over again?
Do any of these thoughts go through your head when you and your kids are having a bad day? Do you tend to assume that your kids are the only ones that (fill in the blank)?
I’m here to tell you that there are many times that:
- My kids don’t obey me the first time.
- My floor has toys all over the place (mixed in with dirt and dust bunnies).
- My kids have boogers on the end their fingers and they just don’t seem to know what to do with them.
- Nobody can find matching and/or clean socks.
- My kids would rather not change their clothes.
- My kids want to argue with me.
- My kids fight with each other.
- No one (but me) can see the junk under the dresser that needs to be picked up.
- My bathrooms smell like pee. (C’mon boys…learn to aim already.)
When those things happen, I can second guess myself and the fact that I really am doing a good job with this mothering/homemaking thing God has called me to do.
I can feel like I’m failing at the most important job I’ve been given, second to being my husband’s help meet, but of course sometimes I’m really struggling with that one too.
And I feel like everyone else must be doing a much better job than I am.
And that surely none of the other Christian wives and mothers out there feel this way. Because the other Christian wives and mothers surely never get frustrated or behind on their work or overwhelmed. Because the other Christian wives and mothers are all more organized than I am and probably pray more than I do and train their kids better than I do and have a meek and quiet spirit and always have a gentle answer for their precious little ones.
Yeah…it’s all a lie.
A big fat juicy lie (with a booger on top).
We are not alone.
Our job is a work in progress. Continually. All the time. Forever and ever amen.
The training and the loving and the nurturing and the cleaning and the crying and the praying…it’s continual.
We train and we work and we pray and we just keep doing it. Day after day.
Guess what Moms? That’s what ALL of us are doing. Day after day.
Training children to be like Jesus is the hardest job on this earth. Training them to be like Jesus in the middle of trying to grow to be like Jesus ourselves….
Yeah, Satan doesn’t like that very much.
That’s why he makes it so hard. He doesn’t want to us to succeed.
And he really wants you to think that you are the only one who is struggling.
So, if you are a real mom – the kind that has imperfect children and an imperfect home? The kind that is working really, really hard to train your children to be like Jesus. The kind that has a hard time keeping up with every single thing that needs to be done every single day. The kind that is plugging away and striving to be Godly, but not quite reaching perfection.
The kind of mom that relies continually on the grace of God and on His loving mercy.
Won’t you please join me in acknowledging this battle we’re in together?
I’d love it if all us real moms would please leave a comment here on this post. Even if all you do is sign your name. Or simply say, “Yes, I’m a real mom.”
Or, if you’re really feeling brave – go ahead and tell us about your latest parenting/homemaking struggle. Because we’ve all been there done that (or if we haven’t yet…we probably will tomorrow).
And then the next time any real mom out there is having a bad day or needs a little reassurance -
She can come here to this post and be reminded by the list of all of us other real moms that she is a part of a community of other women doing many of the same things she is doing everyday. And struggling with many of the same things she is struggling with day after day….
And we’ll all know that we are not alone.
From one real mom to another…Thank You.
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As real a mom as it gets. making home, goine to school, having to work, 4 kids one on the way…
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Love your blog! I was recently introduced to it by Amanda @ Better Is Little.
We are at the very beginning of our healthy eating journey. You’re such an encouragement!
We have 6 children: oldest daughter,6, twins, daughter,5 & son,5, daughter,4, son,2, & daughter, 11 1/2 mos.
Let’s just say that I’m glad our walls don’t talk! They’d say things like, “And she calls herself a Christian?” “Those poor children, listen to her pitching a fit!”
It’s a bit overwhelming, but I know the LORD’s way is the best! I could not ask for better children! They are a joy!
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I’ve been reading your blog for several months, and came back to read this post, because it is such an encouragement. Thank you for being honest, thank you for your encouragement. I, too, am a real mom.
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I’m a real mom. Definitely.
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I needed to read this today, as I’m exhausted & feeling overwhelmed. Nice to read as it reminded me I’m not alone & no one is perfect.
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Love, love, love this! I totally feel that way sometimes, and we have 4 kids (10, 6, 5, and 2), and my husband is in the military and travels a lot. SO glad you were brave enough to type it out, and it totally happens here too!!
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Yep, I am a real mom as well. So humbled by you and all that I read on your blog. Thank you for being so real!
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Here, here! I’m with you, sister! :)
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Thank you for reminding me that doing God’s will isn’t always easy and it teaches me to be humble and patient. And boy oh boy does the devil NOT want me to homeschool and teach my girls to follow Jesus.
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Our dog poops on the floor! :(
The sink is always full of dirty dishes & the counters are always dirty.
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Just what I needed to hear. I hate the voice in my head that says “You can’t handle the kids you’ve got. What makes you think you should have more?” Every day is a challenge that I’m happy to face with my Lord. THank you God that I’m not alone!
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Thank you for that! I feel like I’m the only mom who doesn’t have everything under control, but then again, just because people say their lives are perfect or act like it, doesn’t really mean that everything at home IS perfect…we need to cut ourselves a break. We should strive to do our best, but remember that this life will sometimes be a mess! We have something perfect to look forward to later on, and it lasts for eternity!! I love being home with my children, I wouldn’t miss it for anything :-)
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I’m a real mom… I struggle with keeping toilets clean and getting myself off the computer to spend time with my kids… We all struggle.
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My life has turned upside down. We found out the dear father of our 7 children has a prolactinoma, a tumor of the pituitary gland about 1 inch big around and encasing the pit and maybe even the optical nerve or nerves.. We were doctoring for hypothyroidism when a new doctor found this for us just last Friday March 31st. Yesterday we received news of the tumor. I am so scared, night time is the worst. I am Paula Lucas and Husband Nathan Lucas family of Kalona, Iowa. We so need your prayers. May GOd have mercy on us and stop the rapid growth, tha t we can learn and grow and come out on the other side better. That my husband would not lose His eyesight, that they can get all the tumor out… Thank you and please forgive me for any bother.. so desperate feelling right now..
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Karen Reply:
April 7th, 2012 at 12:29 pm
Paula, I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s tumor. I am sending prayerrs that wll will be cured through God who gives us strength. Know that others do care and are prayeing with you!
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Laura Reply:
April 7th, 2012 at 9:15 pm
Praying for you and your family, Paula.
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Tera Knapp Reply:
April 22nd, 2012 at 6:55 pm
So sorry to hear of your family’s struggle with cancer!
Saying a prayer for you right now!
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As a mom who has 4 biologically and 4 adopted, people almost elevate me to sainthood when they hear we have adopted 4. I sometimes feel pressure to be perfect when they say “I don’t know how you do it.”. Well the truth is sometimes I don’t do it!! Sometimes especially Sunday mornings my house looks like a tornado hit it! Many days there is a basket of clean laundry in my room helplessly waiting to be folded only to be joined by a new load… I am a real mom too and no, I don’t alway have the perfectly clean house. Yes I do raise my voice at my children over trivial things. But with the Lord’s tender mercy I try my best and although I fail more often than I care to admit, I keep going with His grace. Thank you for your honesty.
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Oh my, it is so easy to believe we are alone when we KNOW we are not! THANK-YOU for the reminder!! I am a real mom, trying each day, to do a little better than the day before – sometimes it works, sometimes I back track. But, God so wonderfully helps me keep pressing on toward the goal. Blessings to all mothers out there!
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I am sooo a real mum (we say that with a u here in Australia) to 6 children. Today I lost it a bit when my 3 1/2 year old pulled the knitting off my needles while I was grinding wheat to make bread and now the kids are outside throwing things at each other while I am trying to find a pasta recipe on the internet. Oh and did I mention that none of them talk, they only yell, in spite of my continuous “soft voices guys”. Real mum for sure!
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I loved reading this. And helllloooooo real mom here! Thank you for posting.
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Real mom.
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As I am reading this, I’m trying not to feel guilty about the mountain if dishes I need to do. (That’s just the first task I need to tackle.) Thank you Laura for the reminder that Satan is a work here, too. Thanks for all real Moms for sharing, too.
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Tera Knapp Reply:
April 22nd, 2012 at 6:58 pm
To add to the above: Not to sound like a pessimist, I am also
trusting in the power and grace of the Lord!
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Thank you. It’s nice to be reminded that I’m not alone in this tornado-path of imperfection. When the kids refuse to cooperate, dinner’s not done when I want it to be, and the house looks like the wrath of God even though I KNOW I spent all day working on it, it’s hard to feel like you’re doing it right.
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Update on Paula’s hubby and family and being a REAL MOM in a crisis. GOD is answering many prayers and taking my mothering skills to a new level through all this. Thank you for all the prayers. We are finding peace in the storm. The diagnosis is not as desperate or scary as it was at first.. We are adjusting to a new normal.. DH is on a med to shrink tumor and lower prolactin levels, NO surgery YET!! ?.. I am working on being more nurturing to my family, though, would like to run and hide at times.. Thank you DEAR PEOPLE for praying for a stranger!! I feel those prayers and that is what will get us through..
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Melissa J. Reply:
April 29th, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Praying for you, your husband, and your family.
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I’m a real mom. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get this house to look the way I want it to. Thanks to all you other real moms out there! It’s nice to know I’m not the only imperfect one on the quest to bring up a holy family and keep a nice home. <3
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I’m a real mom. My house is not sparkling clean and probably never will be. :)
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I’m a real mom to 5 girls ages 7 months to 18 years. It feels like the baby is never happy unless I hold her, which I do while I work, all the while my arm cramps and some days I think… really? I used carriers but now she tries to escape them. O.O My now 3 yr old thinks she is WAY smarter than me, and some days I agree. My 5 year old talks all the time wanting my full attention and I find myself saying, “Not right now honey,” more than I would like. My 10 yr old is entering an early puberty and is uber sensitive, crying at the drop of a hat. My 18 yr. old is super creative and off mentally half the time when I need her help. Today I lost my temper and yelled in front of the kids at my husband, which I never do. My days are filled with cleaning, noise, boogers, gassy children, (did I mention that I have all girls? lol) 2 puppies, one that eats its own poop, a new batch of fleas, cooking, baking, writing, (I’m an author), homeschooling, and Jesus. Yep, I’m a real mom!
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