The Story of My Sleeves

I promised you here that I would share this. Oh how refreshing it is to take a break from all the hard work of writing and sharing healthy recipes and gardening tips… so that I can make myself look ridiculous.

Really. This story is ridiculous.

It happened on a day soon after we had moved back to Nebraska (about seven years ago). I was extremely exhausted from the move. I had three kids ages four and under. My youngest at the time was four months old. I blame this story all on post-partum brain. And whatever else I can possibly blame it on.

Matt and I, along with the kids, were in the home of some fellow church members. The husband was a Bible professor at the college…the wife a psychology professor. That means they are both smart. And also incredibly brilliant.

You know…the kind of people you want to sound intelligent in front of?

Anyway…we were getting ready to leave, and our kids were doing their kid thing, because they were ages four and two and four months old.

I don’t remember exactly what brought it up, but the wife and I got onto the subject of mothering…and how we have to always be on our toes in order to keep the kids under control.

And then I said it.

I said, “Yep, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeves.”

Doesn’t sound too bad does it?

That’s because I THOUGHT I said that I had tricks up my sleeves.

What actually came out of my mouth was,

“Yep, I’ve got sleeves.”

That’s all I said. 

“I’ve….got….sleeves.” 

Then I stood there nodding and looking all smug because I was a good mother with tricks up her sleeves.   At least I thought I did. But no…apparently all I had was sleeves. Nothing up them. And certainly no tricks.

It took way too long for me to figure out what I had actually said…at which point I sort of lamely mumbled, “uumm…I mean tricks up my sleeves…”

The lady was kind enough to act like she didn’t really notice…even though I know she did. It didn’t help that I’m pretty sure I was wearing a sleeveless shirt that night. Good grief.

I’ll end this story with a word of encouragement and blessing to all you moms out there:

May you get enough rest to enable you to formulate entire sentences. May you always sound intelligent around those you wish to sound intelligent in front of. And more importantly…

May you always, always, forever and ever amen…have sleeves.

Comments

  1. Claudia says

    Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! It’s been a rough week, and I needed this – laughing and crying at the same time. I might just have to use that line sometime…

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    Nia Reply:

    Me too. Laughing and crying so hard my baby stopped beibg cranky long enough to laugh at me.

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  2. says

    You don’t need actual sleeves to have tricks up them, I don’t think.

    I’ve had moments like that too. You have to blame it on post-natal brain fog.

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  3. says

    Oh, you had me laughing!!! This is so funny! Not at you, but at how I totally do this and feel like this nearly everyday!
    I’m actually shocked now when someone asks a question and from who knows where comes an intelligent answer!! I’ll even gasp when I know the answer to something!
    Wow, it is going to be so weird to get to sleep through the WHOLE night one day…too bad the kids will be grown by then!
    Blessings!

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  4. says

    LOL! Please tell me the mommy brain goes away!! I’ll be talking with someone and forget mid sentence what I was saying. And I only have two!!
    You crack me up with your stories!

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  5. Sandee says

    Oh dang, I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. And then I tried to read it to my husband and just about couldn’t finish for all the laughing. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with a mommy brain! Thanks for the laugh.

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  6. says

    I love your blog, that post was so funny! I have 4 little ones so I can certainly relate. Ahhh… those wonderful “Mommy Brain” moments :0)

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  7. says

    cute story. IF that’s the only incident you can think of I think you are in great shape!

    I always say the wrong things or they come out wrong. It gets sooo bad with me I have opted just not to talk but smile and nod. I married a brain and his whole family is pretty brainy. I get the cold shakes anytime “visiting” is mentioned. Though, I love em all dearly!

    I have to admit I love talking to my sisters they understand me if it’s only one word out of my mouth.

    I don’t know if I should blame it on an always post partum or pregnant brain. ha!

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  8. says

    LOL. Thank you for sharing. My mommy mind races miles a minute and I know many times I miss words, lose my train of thought in the middle of a sentance or get distracted and do not finish the thought. it drives my husband crazy and I don’t mean to do it – it just happens.

    I’m sorry for your experience but am glad to hear that I am not the only one!!

    (I am forwarding this link to my husband :))

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  9. Kansas mom says

    Loved this…so glad you have sleeves! :)

    Here is my most HUMILIATING story about “mommy brain.” I was at my dear uncle’s funeral, with my three young children. My youngest was not yet a year old, and I was feeling rather stretched as I struggled to keep them quiet and behaving appropriately.

    After the funeral, we went to the home of my aunt for a memorial brunch hosted by the ladies of the church. My kids were delighted to be able to play in my aunt’s basement, where she kept a collection of toys.

    As we struggled to get everyone into coats at the day’s end, my aunt (who had just lost her husband, mind you) approached and said, “Thank you so much for coming and bringing the children.”

    And I said…prepare yourself…”Thank you so much for having us, it was fun.” YES, IT WAS FUN. OH- MY- WORD. Immediately after saying this, I must have reddened from head to toe. I began to stammer some half-wit thing about the kids appreciating being able to play in her basement, but I did not know how to even BEGIN redeeming myself. In her gracious sweetness, my aunt acted as if nothing unusual had occurred. She was a momma of three once herself, and I think understood that my own humiliation was punishment enough! HA!

    I continually work on thinking BEFORE I speak! May God have mercy on me! :)

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  10. Barbara says

    I’ve done this so many times, that I’ve just decided not to open my mouth!!! Thanks for sharing and encouraging.

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  11. says

    I am so glad I am not the only one who does silly things like this. I have embarrassed myself more than once. That is very bad when you have to work in front of the public too! I have a presentation tonight. Please say a little prayer I don’t mess that up!

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  12. says

    How funny (at least it is today). I catch myself saying the silliest things too, even messing up verb tense (and I’m an English major). I love the idea of blaming it on “mommy brain”. I’m so using that!

    Love your place here!

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  13. says

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said something and then realized I sounded totally lame! I blame it on the fact that I have 4 children 5 and under and so, most days, I don’t carry on very many adult conversations!:) But I figure these kind of situations are good for us. Keeps us humble!

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  14. says

    Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone in saying crazy things! I’d share one with you, but my mommy brain can’t remember what I said…

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  15. says

    Too funny! I’m sitting here reading it in a sleeveLESS top too :)

    I was in a play in HS and during a scene I kept looking at the guy who needed to say his line after mine. I couldn’t reply yet, he hadn’t said his line! I just kept giving him the evil eye and finally had to kind of cough at him and prompt him on. When we went back stage he pointed out(rather kindly after my antics) that I never SAID the original line for him to respond to so that I could respond again.

    Does this even make sense? Anyway I thought I said something, but it was only in my head I guess! The funny things our minds do to us…

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  16. Christi says

    Oh… my… goodness… I needed that laugh! You had me laughing so hard that I woke my husband!! He thought I was crying because I was laughing so hard! :) I have 3 kids all 3 and under– totally relate!

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  17. Holly says

    Thank you so much for recounting this story. I laughed until tears were flowing from my eyes. I can totally relate. Thank you so much for everything on this blog!

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  18. Debbie says

    Found your sight tonight and am enjoying is greatly. My kids are all grown and I still can’t talk right. Some of us have no hope :)God Bless

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  19. Karen says

    I have 5 kids 4 and under (no, that’s not a typo)…and sometimes I think I’m not only losing my mind, but that it’s GONE. Too late, no hope. =) I forget doctor appointments, even when they’re written on the calendar (something my single counterpart would never have done!). I say things and, like you, have to let it run over in my brain for WAY too long before I can really realize what I just said and then it’s usually too late to redeem myself without looking even more the fool. *sigh* I find myself thinking “is something seriously wrong? like maybe I’m actually SICK or something.” haha. I’m glad to hear it’s normal. =) Thanks for the encouragement!!

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