You know what I’ve really appreciated the past 8 days? My dirty kitchen. It is so normal. The laundry pile. School work. Soccer practice. Vacuuming. Messes. Sibling arguments. Busy schedules. All of the normal.
When there is a tragedy, normal tasks are a blessing. Does this even make sense? It’s just that the things I might normally complain about (dirty dishes and all of the above) became something I was so thankful to be dealing with this past week. After all, my cousins were in the hospital watching their 16 year old son fight for his life. Just days before, they had been doing all of the normal. How we long for the normal when suddenly nothing is normal.
Friday, September 11 our 16 year old cousin sustained a head injury on the football field. He slipped into a coma, underwent surgeries, became weaker, continued to lose ground. I’ve never been so obsessed with Facebook. It was my link to my cousins in Oklahoma when all we could do here in Nebraska was pray and watch for updates from those who were at Ben’s bedside.
Here’s what I watched transpire: All of us who knew Ben were praying. We all asked others for prayer. Others began praying. Word spread. People who didn’t know Ben began praying. In just a few days, I watched as thousands and thousands of people shared that they were praying. Most were praying for a family they didn’t know and for a boy they’d never meet.
This is love, this is Jesus in the heart of people, and this is powerful.
God answered our prayers, but He didn’t let us keep Ben. He healed Ben fully, but not in the way we all asked. Ben is whole again, but he’s not home with his family. He is in his new home. His forever home.
Should we ask why? It never hurts to ask. Will we ever know? Does it even matter?
God’s plan for our lives, for Ben’s life, for the life of Ben’s family – God’s plan is absolute. Even if it hurts and even if it doesn’t make sense to us. We choose to trust God through the pain.
As we mourn our devastating loss of Ben, we are in awe of the beauty of God and His work in and through His people.
Because of this one boy – this boy and his family who are so loved by so many – thousands and thousands of people got on their knees and talked to the Creator last week.
Because of this one boy and his family, thousands of people are still on their knees, pleading for comfort and peace for Ben’s family. Tears are being shed, love is being shown, and Jesus is being glorified.
Praise be to God for the heart of His people.
May we not wait for tragedy to renew our relationship with our Creator. May we stay humbly and joyfully on our knees as we recognize the truth of the strength this provides.
Praise God with me for the life of this one boy – the one who brought so many into precious communion with others and with the Father this week.
We’re gonna miss you, Ben.
Brooke says
Jesus is weeping for you and your family. I am weeping. Heartbreaking.
Thankful to have a heavenly home to look forward to.
Big hug to you.
Laura says
Yes, so thankful for the hope of our heavenly home.
Jodi says
Oh, we had a similar, sad experience here this week. Last Sunday, a friend’s 9 month old did not awake from her afternoon nap. She had just posted the sweetest picture that morning, and it was last they took of her. Praise be to God for the comfort of prayers even from those who don’t know the family. I will pray for Ben’s family.
Kari Coppinger says
My heart hurts for your friends and you. Praying for them this a.m. along with your family Laura.
Laura says
So very heartbreaking. I am praying for all of you.
Debbie says
I am so sorry for your family’s loss and yet so encouraged by your gracious attitude and the coming together of so many to storm the gates of heaven and plead on behalf of this boy and his family. Thank you for sharing this and giving us a chance to pray too.
Laura says
Thank you for praying. :)
Trina W. says
Praying for your family. I’m so sorry to hear this. May God surround you all with His peace and glory.
(((Hugs)))
Laura says
Thank you, Trina.
Su says
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family and Ben’s family in my prayers.
Laura says
Thank you, Su.
Ivy Mae says
So sorry. Thanks for sharing with us.
Laura says
Thank you, Ivy.
Shannon says
I’ve been praying for Ben and didn’t even realize he was related to you. Hadn’t heard yet that he had passed. So very sorry to hear especially as I had thought he was improving. Continued prayers for your family.
Laura says
I’m so blessed to know you were one of the thousands praying. :)
Kristin says
You said it beautifully and I’m trying to remember all of that. But I’m sad and heartbroken and kind of angry. And kind of feeling like Job. Sigh. Thank you for the great perspective.
Laura says
You are going through so much, and then this happened. I’m praying for all of you and so thankful for God’s bigness and power. Praying for strength for you all. Love you.
Ingrid says
Sorry to hear of your loss of Ben. Will be praying for your family!
Laura says
Thank you, Ingrid.
Jennifer says
Laura and family I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that you are comforted during this time of loss.
Laura says
Thank you, Jennifer.
mrs.p says
Praying for Ben family and his classmates.
Laura says
Yes, for his classmates, thank you! I know they are hurting so badly!
Lee says
I am so sorry for your loss. Praying more for your family, his, and the lives he has touched.
Laura says
Thank you, Lee.
Melissa M. says
Tears and prayers for your family.
Laura says
Thank you, Melissa.
Kimberly says
I am sooooooooooooo sorry you and your family have to go through this. I read several articles about him on the Internet and he sounds like a TREMENDOUS young man!!!!! He gave SO MUCH to the world—all in Jesus’ Name.
I am praying for you and your family, and for everyone whose life he has touched–and will continue to touch. Hugs to you!!!
Laura says
He and his family are tremendous. Thank you so much for your prayers.
Charlotte Moore says
Oh how sad! This brought me to tears for all of you. GOD does know the footsteps of each of us. We don’t understand HIS will and HIS way most times. He does have it all in HIS control.
Laura says
I’m so thankful for God’s control so that I don’t have to be. :)
Karen S says
My heart goes out to your family; I hope you all feel the “peace that passes all understanding”. I have come to realize that everything that happens in this world is not God’s will. If it were, the verse 2 Peter 3: 9 would be a lie, and God does not lie. Everyone will not come to repentance, even though that’s God’s will. “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” Horrible things happen in this world, because it’s not the world God created; it’s a fallen world. That doesn’t mean He can’t make something beautiful out of the tragedies the devil means for evil. Bless you all.
Laura says
Thank you for sharing these words of Truth from scripture.
Pat says
Prayers to you and your family during this difficult time
Laura says
Thank you, Pat.
Gayle says
Praying for your family as they mourn the loss of Ben at such a young age. May you all continue to find your strength in our Lord and Savior.
Laura says
Thank you, Gayle.
Katrina says
Laura, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you sons are managing ok. Please know I am praying for your entire family, and I also believe the Ben is more joyful with God in heaven than he ever could have been on earth. But that doesn’t stop the hurt of loss, and I am so sorry for that.
Laura says
Thank you for caring about our sons. They will feel his loss the most, where Matt and I are hurting deeply for Ben’s parents. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.
Dorthy M. says
I’m so sorry, Laura. I know it is very hard to lose a child, whether he be a son or a cousin or a family friend. Keeping you and the family in prayer.
Laura says
You know the pain all too well. Love you.
Shannon combs says
So sorry for your families loss. How devastating. I’m from OK, live in Sapulpa, Where is your cousin from?
Laura says
The Bartlesville area. Thank you for your care.
Lynn says
Laura, I am so sorry for your loss. In May I lost my 26 yr old son. He went out for a run and never came home. A month later, his wife delivered their first child. I have lost loved ones before and I never had reassurance they knew Jesus. I always thought it must be easier when they knew the loved one was in heaven. I know my son is in heaven and it is still incredibly difficult. My prayers go out to you and all of Ben’s family.
Laura says
Oh Lynn. I’m so sorry to hear this. Praying God’s strength for you. So thankful to hear your son is with the Lord.
Christina ( Chris) Strickler says
What a great testimony of Christians that prayed for Ben and his family. A heartfelt prayer to you and your family during this tragic time. May each of you feel our Lord’s presence, comfort, peace, love, and strength during this sad time. Love & Blessings to all!
LeRoy says
I did not know Ben personally, but I felt like I knew him through my son. Nathan spent a week with him at Lariat creek Christian camp this summer. He got very close to him. He has very good things to say about Ben. Through all of this it has brought not only my family together but my church family as well. We are praying for peace and comfort for all the family. This was a very inspiring young man and has hit everyone hard.
Laura says
Thank you so much for sharing.
Leigh says
I’m so sorry to learn of your loss. Praying God will wrap you, Ben’s parents, and your entire family in His comfort and peace.
Twila says
So sorry…yes, normal is wonderful. We lost our son-in-law in a work accident almost 2 years ago. Recently a lady I know was saying how she cleaned her kitchen, dishes, countertops washed etc. then she came back out to the kitchen and there was a dirty plate her husband had left there! I just had to think, my daughter would take a whole kitchen full of dirty dishes if it would bring her husband back. Life is never the same, but by the grace of God you go on.
Christa Upton says
Tears in my eyes. Hugs to you & his whole family. We may not understand why God sometimes answers in a way we don’t like, but praise God He understands the grief, anger, etc. that comes. Prayers.
Rachel Anna says
Ben’s story has brought me to tears. I will keep you and your whole family in my prayers.
Cheryl says
We feel deep sorrow for your family’s loss and will continue to pray for all those who knew such a fine Christian young man. It is a blessing to trust in our God who is always in charge since His ways are always perfect, although we sometimes don’t understand. What a huge blessing for you to share of the Lord’s ways on your website! Thank You.
Susan Parker says
I don’t know what to say, other than I am sorry for the loss in your family. We who all have a personal relationship with our Savior, know that being with Him is far more than we could ever imagine. However, it is the ones left behind on Earth, that aren’t with their family member and they aren’t with their Savior, who need our prayers, compassion and empathy. I know what ever lives, will die. Let us make the most of our relationships here on Earth, tell our loved ones what they mean to us. Seek Jesus’s heart and you will find the answer how – with altruistic love and forgiveness for those who may have hurt you in this world.
Again, Laura, I am sorry for your loss and your family’s dreams ending – however, I will rejoice in the fact that Ben is with the one who laid His life down for Ben….. Jesus of Nazareth.
May God sustain you and comfort you through all of this.
Susan Parker
Trae' says
When I saw the story on the boy who was down on one knee, I thought this isn’t going to be good. I cryed through the story, and my heart was breaking. I prayed, and prayed some more, and if it was meant to be, Amen. I’m so very sorry you all lost Ben, my heart has tears for you. Losing a child is so much harder, but my feeling is, Ben isn’t hurting, he’s happy and rejoicing for our day will come as we see our loved ones with Our Lord… I will keep your family in my prayers, our day to rejoice will be soon.
God Bless You All.
Tracy
Ashley T says
Laura, what a beautifully written post. It brought tears to my eyes as I read how much you love our faithful God, and about how He answered the prayers, but not the way you all wanted. Thank you so much for sharing your pain, and the love that you had for this boy and his family, and the love you have for God. You are a blessing to many!
Tenille says
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I’m praying for you all.
Linda says
Laura,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is never easy when a loved one dies, but it is so much more heart-wrenching when they are so young. My 50 year old brother died in his sleep this past May, and I felt he died way too young! I know from experience that God is with the broken hearted. I pray that you and your family would have the peace of God that passes all understanding to guard your hearts and minds. I pray also for his friends and team-mates as they deal with this loss. I pray each of you would draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.
Linda
Christina says
Laura, I am so sorry to hear this. Praying for your family.
Carolyn Stutz says
Though the sentiment is a repeat of everyone else who has posted, it is nevertheless heartfelt: I am so sorry for your [family’s] loss.
Bethany says
I love this post. I am so sorry for your loss and your family’s loss. I’m sorry for the pain of missing someone so dear. And so young. But your words are true and the comfort is real and the hope and joy is waiting. And won’t that be an amazing day – that reunion to come!
Tory says
I love your thoughts you shared. I too am one of many who never met the is young man or his family. I followed the posts through a friend who shared on Facebook. I honor and respect your voice on how so many people came to their knees to pray. Let me share another thing this tragedy brought about. I have renounced the Christian church on my journey through life. What has happen is not only were Christians praying but so were those of us with different beliefs. For centuries there has been a battle of Christians versus other religions. Lately, it seems to have risen with a fever pitch. Those of us not of the Christian faith have viewed them as closed minded. We have been viewed as terrorists and the cause of the downfall of many things that are changing in our country. I am not a terrorist nor Satinic. The tragedy of this young life it brought together not only Christians but the rest of us whose faith is also based with love. This country has truly been brought together as a whole with the love and compassion that was needed for Ben, his family and the lives he personally touched. The things that divide us became unimportant. Thank you to everyone who allowed me to peer into a life of true love and human existence. This post is not intended to hurt or dishonor anyone. This comes from the sadness in my heart as well as the joy of being united with people of all walks of life. That will be his legacy.