The past five years, God’s been working a major overhaul in my heart. Today I am delighted to share the latest – a beautiful new way God broke my chains and set me free.
If you’ve ever lived in fear of pleasing all the people – all the time, you know that this is impossible and therefore excruciatingly painful. I lived much of my life in knots of anxiety – my head, my heart, my gut – all in knots, as I worked so hard to be what people wanted me to be and of course, in an effort to “do all the right things.”
It all sounded so good at the time. I wanted to serve people, to do right, to make everyone happy. I thought I was on the right track, that the anxiety was simply a part of who I was.
Until God broke me. He painfully, gently, beautifully, and faithfully broke me. He took me to a place so desperate I had no choice but to look up, to kneel down, and to surrender.
Nothing about being broken is easy. It’s simple, but it isn’t easy. It’s simple because God and His promises are faithful and perfect. It’s hard because dying to self, walking away from who you once were, learning new Truths about who God actually is, and bravely turning your back on where the enemy has held you in bondage means he’ll start attacking in other ways in an effort to keep you as his slave.
Not today, Satan.
Praise God, His power is bigger!
In the name of Jesus, and because of the love of Jesus, Satan is powerless over us. We are a new creation. We are in Jesus. We are free!
As I’ve been learning to trust God fully, walking my way through the fire of refinement and eagerly seeking healing for my brokenness, He began revealing more and more pieces of His plans for me.
Last summer He said, “It’s time to speak up. Share what you are learning. Do not settle for mediocrity. Tell my people to break free from what has become comfortable. Staying in comfort is not what I ask of my people. I ask people to die to self so they can fully experience my love and selflessly love their neighbor. Share what you’ve been learning so others can learn to truly live life through the promise of the Holy Spirit.”
As a faithful follower, of course I answered with, “Thanks for the offer, God. I don’t want to do that. Ask someone else.”
And He replied, “I am not healing you for silence.”
Fearfully, I cowered.
God continued to refine and renew me. He led me through Scripture to reveal Truth I’d been blinded to before. He guided me through trial to reveal His faithfulness and provision. He walked me through pain to teach me how to trust Him. He taught me to truly seek the Holy Spirit for constant guidance and peace. Then again He said, “Share what you’re learning.”
But I said, “It’s all too weird for me. I’m not comfortable with this. I don’t know what to say.” (Sound familiar? Hey, Moses. Be my BFF. Let’s come up with a secret Exodus 4:13 handshake.)
God said, “Laura, trust me. Trust and obey. I will give you all the words.”
In the weeks that followed, I continued to seek Him, continued to walk forward, but continued to stay quiet. I watched God move and work and I relished in His goodness and power. But I remained silent. Perhaps I can just lead by quiet example, I thought. And again He said, “It’s time.”
“It’s time for you and every one of my people to move past what is comfortable. I call people to love and live through the power of the Holy Spirit. Stand up, stand firm, stand strong. Learn to truly seek me, to love me, and to love others.”
And then He told me to do something outward, something entirely out of my comfort zone. It’s almost too funny to say, because really, would God ask a person to do this? I had no problem with others doing it. But me? Ha! I’m 44 years old. Really, God? Did I just hear you right? Did you really just tell me to go out and get my nose pierced? In the name of Truth and Freedom?
I laughed until I realized that God really meant it.
For two weeks I wrestled. I cried, I barely slept, and I hardly ate. I sought guidance and counsel from wise people God selected, secretly hoping someone would talk me out of it. True and faithful friends that they were, they stood by my side and encouraged me to obey.
I asked over and over, “God, please make this clear. Did you really tell me to pierce my nose as a message to the church that we are to break free of what is comfortable and seek actual, true freedom in you? This is a beautiful message, and how desperately I want to share, but please, Dear Jesus. This is too weird, too hard for me.”
He reminded me that He told Hosea to marry a prostitute to convict people of their unfaithfulness. He asked Ezekiel to eat a scroll, then lie down on his left side for 390 days and eat defiled foods to send a message to His people. Ok, fine. Put a tiny sparkle in my nose? I can do that. I think. Maybe?
What will people think, Lord? I’m Laura Coppinger, the one who serves in the background, writes behind a computer screen, feeds all the people all the food. I don’t even wear make-up or care about jewelry, for goodness sake.
I was willing to obey God but I became terrified. What would I tell people? Was this really from God? People would disapprove.
Bingo.
While I had thought God asked me to do this as a message for His people (and He did), I learned that He really asked me to do this to cleanse my own broken heart. The pride. The selfishness. Wanting approval from people – this sin I’ve struggled with since I was a tiny girl. I thought God had healed this part of me. But suddenly I became well aware of the ugly monster still within.
God and I had more work to do.
Free me, Lord! I don’t want to be in bondage. Break my chains! Cleanse me of this pride and selfishness, and the anxiety that grips me over the fear of disappointing people.
Oh our God is faithful. He is good and holy and righteous. He is healer. He is victorious! He binds our wounds and sets the captive free!
I obeyed. I did it.
And just like that, I was free! FREE!!!!! Jesus set me free. Chains broke, snapped in two, and dissolved. The yoke of slavery is defeated. We live in freedom!
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
God bless my husband, my sons, and the precious friends God chose to walk these weeks with me. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so outwardly messy, so painfully aware of my weaknesses, so humbly in awe of my need for surrender.
There is glorious freedom in surrender. There is tremendous joy in obedience! And as an added perk, I crazy LOVE my tiny little nose piercing! Who knew? (God.) It is a constant, sparkling reminder to me of the healing God offers and the freedom He provides.
Friends, we serve a God who has called us to holy living. We are chosen by a Father who wants to refine, cleanse, and heal our brokenness. We are saved by the blood of Jesus. And we have been provided with His Spirit to live inside us constantly and fully so that we can be in His Kingdom now and forever.
Learn to listen. Be open and free and willing to be taught and cleansed. Welcome His truth. Deny the schemes of the enemy to hold you back. Ask for fresh eyes and an open heart to reveal truth from Scripture about how the Holy Spirit works and lives among us.
Trust. Obey. Be free!
Nathana says
I am so thankful you shared this. I think we have been on a similar journey. Oh how I wish we could talk in person! I feel like I was resisting for a long time what God was trying to do in my heart and life. In my resistance I even failed to except Mitch’s leadership. But both Mitch and God were very patient with me and faithful. The Holy Spirit kept working on my heart even when I didn’t realize it. And this past year has been such a beautiful year of renewal. (And lots of risk and stepping out of comfort zones.) I’ve wrestled for so long with anxiety and insecurity and not feeling like I’m enough. Where I had fear God has given me hope and faith, where I harbored judgement of myself and others now grace, where my heart was hard He has softened me, where I was broken He has began restoration. What I thought would lead to isolation has led to community and deeper relationships. One of the biggest fears I also had to overcome was over what people would think. I love the nose piercing and I’m so excited to hear about the journey of freedom!
Laura says
Thank you so much for sharing, Nathana! I love that God never stops growing and healing us. He is so gentle and faithful. What a God! We love your family and the beauty and light that shines through you all.
Lisa says
Beautiful and brave. I’ve been in the same season for about 3 years and am thankful it’s coming to the place where I feel God pushing me into new (and, yes, wicked uncomfortable) places. I know what’s happening, so I welcome the pushes, even when my face doesn’t exactly say I’m thankful. Love you! <3
Laura says
I love you, Lisa! I love how the uncomfortable becomes comfortable because of His faithfulness in our obedience. I MISS YOU!
Amy K says
Love it – Praise God!!
Laura says
Thank you, Amy! What a great God He is!
SHEILA says
Thank you so much for sharing. I am a people pleaser and worry about what people will say. Pray for me as I desire to be broken and free.
Laura says
Sheila, you are so loved! Lord, let your perfect power break Sheila free of the chains that hold her in bondage. Fill her with Your Truth, the truth that she is perfectly loved and adored by You, that you are pleased and that’s all that matters. Bring freedom in the name of Jesus!
Tera says
Thanks for sharing, Laura! Thanks for the encouragement to break free and let the Holy Spirit speak through us! Love ya, sister!
Laura says
I appreciate and love you, Tera! I can’t wait to see what God continues to do and reveal through the Holy Spirit here in York and everywhere!!
Rachel says
AWESOME!!! I LOVE IT!!! PRAISE BE TO THE LORD!!!
Laura says
YES! Isn’t He a good God!!!!!
Molly says
The disapproving people don’t matter- God does! The nose sparkle is gorgeous and matches mine. :-)
Laura says
YES! Only God’s approval matters, and praise God, we are His treasured daughters. Send me a pic of your sparkle!
kristin says
Thank you…..I am in such a vulnerable and broken place after years of people pleasing and fear and codependency. I am 45 years old and feel like I am starting over. I know God loves me and yet this is scary.
Laura says
How well I understand this pain and fear. Starting over, no matter what age, is beautiful, because God is all in and totally present in it. Cozy up with the Word often, be open to hear all He is telling you, and prepare to be amazed at all He will do to heal your heart. He is completely gentle, so there truly is nothing to fear. He will faithfully walk you through each need in His perfect time. Be free and confident in His love for you. :)
Lori says
Wow – thank you so much for sharing, Laura. I am a people pleaser (and rule follower) as well and worry about what others may think. It is getting better with age, but deep down, it’s still there. I think it’s so much harder for people from our generation to go against the flow. And, the ones we worry about the most are other Christians. I think It’s ironic that for some people, getting a nose ring (or something similar) might be out of rebellion, but for you, it was out of obedience. ?Thank you for sharing; your post really spoke to me. I need to be more obedient when God is asking me to do something I consider to be “outside the box”.
Lori says
Laura – it changed my Happy face to a question mark in my last post. It was supposed to be a Happy face!
Kari says
Preach! Amen and wow! :-) <3
Rae says
I love this!! Freedom can actually be fun, too, aye? ?
Jennifer says
I just had to comment..that little nose piercing is so cute! You wear it so well :) Also, thanks for the encouraging message!
Kellee says
Being on a similar journey since 2009, I can only praise God who teaches and leads so gently! I relate perfectly to the battle & the blessed relief of moving beyond caring what others think. What joy & peace has filled my life since! Thanks for sharing. I will be forwarding this post to others<3
Gayle says
That’s so interesting! Last year my 14-year-old daughter wanted to get her nose pierced. At first I said no, but I agreed to pray about it. Eventually, I realized that all of the reasons I had for not letting her came from the same place–fear of what other people would think about my mothering skills. It was kind of eye-opening. I have always been a people-pleaser too, so it made sense. Needless to say, she DID get her nose pierced, and it’s very cute. So is yours : )
6SweetViolets says
I love this!! Your heart, openness, desire for freedom for everyone, is so beautiful! It encourages me on my journey of faith as I face the things He asks me to that look so small, but are big battles and amazing victories in my heart. God bless you!
Kathy says
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I too am a people pleaser. Your transparency has caused me to seek God more about this and accept His guidance in this area of my life.
Sarah says
Thank you so much for sharing! I too have trouble with what other people think! God had been working on my heart in this area. I love what happens when we obey! Recently my husband and I started a church plant in a bar in the city where we live, God spoke to my husband and gave him a verse from Matthew for the name of the church, Glutton and Drunk Church. My first thoughts were thanks God, not only do I have to tell people that I attend church in a bar, a nightclub to be exact but it is called Glutton and Drunk Church! What are people going to think! In the past months I have become more comfortable in sharing about our church and saying the name aloud! I praise God that he asked us to do his work in such a unique setting, we are a small congregation so far but God is definitely pressing us forward! I love hearing stories of obedience, God does call us to do things that seem strange but in the end they are always for his glory and they bring us closer to him!
Hope Goodman says
Hi Laura!
I have enjoyed reading your blog for years but have never taken the time to comment. I was so filled with joy when I read your latest post, I even read it to my husband! I wanted to pierce my nose since my high school days (I am now 46) but out of fear of what others might think I never did it. About a year ago I began praying about having it done. I needed to know it would be ok with the Lord and that my reasons for wanting the piercing were coming from a clean heart. Similar to your experience, Jesus showed me that I have freedom in Him to be who He made me to be! I Love my piercing and what it represents to me. Your story is a confirmation and I thank you for sharing. Many blessings to you and your family.
Jen says
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, your confusion, and your hesitation. You showed Jesus’ courage, His convictions, and His absolute authority in our lives. I am encouraged by you and thankful for your sweet heart, as well as all the other skills you have. Keep trusting and obeying (and sharing!). May God continue to bless you.
Cassie says
I shared this post with all the ladies in my office. Just love it! Me and a co-worker can share the pics of her daughter’s nose ring and my son’s corn rows/long hair/whatever comes next…… I keep telling myself “This too shall pass” with each adventure my boys take me. God does work in mysterious ways. Even when your son shares his doubts. I just pray that much harder! Love your nose ring! Love your honesty!
Julie says
Seeing your picture with your nose piercing brought such immediate joy! Thank you for sharing…I also feel the Lord pulling me to a place of being uncomfortable. Your journey is so encouraging!
Natalie Parker says
What an absolutely beautiful testimony. I giggled through it, but also read it “on the edge of my seat”. Our God is so funny! Thanks for sharing!!!
K Ann Guinn says
Good for you for not only obeying God’s (unusual) prompting, but also for sharing your journey with others!
I understand only too well the inbred desire to please others that seems to accompany my natural personality. It is something I too, at 51, am still learning to change.
I love that you love your new look. And I think it will open up new doors with some of the people in this crazy, modern world we live in, who otherwise would have felt you would not relate to them.
So maybe I’ll have to reconsider that funny little idea I’ve had in the back of my mind (and laughingly shared with my husband), to get a tiny tattoo…..
I’ll be praying for God’s leading. :)
Kathe says
Thank you so much for this! Just what I needed to read. I’m 50 years old & still seek approval from others, worry about what they think of me & always trying to be a people pleaser. This gives me so much anxiety & depression & insecurity. How do I break free from this thinking? Besides lots of prayer do have anything else that help guide you, books, exercise, etc.?
Laura says
I had to do some hard (but beautiful and good) work with a trusted Christian therapist to help me break the chains. I know God alone is healer, but the tools and help offered to me from a professional who helped me get to the root of the issues was invaluable!
Kathe says
Thank you Laura! I don’t know why I never thought about a Christian therapist! Just googled and found one to contact!
Amber says
I love this! As someone with sixteen tattoos, and plans to get more, and as someone who had her nose and Monroe pierced (those are, sadly, gone – but I want to redo the nose!), I was more often than not judged for those modifications. By Christians, every time. They viewed those as making me into someone who was not a Christ-follower or true believer. But, I am. And I proclaim it loudly, And I decided (well, reading this, I’m quite certain that God decided for me) that I did not care how they viewed me as long as I knew that I was doing God’s will. It’s so amazing and freeing!
And I love your shiny little nose ring!
Cassie Tillman says
I LOVE THIS!!
Rebecca says
Wow! Amazing! I need such a transformation.
Jacqueline Russell says
Love it! Thanks for sharing:)