Who are you spending quality time with? (I mean, besides your toddler and The Cat in the Hat.)
Are you choosing your friends wisely?
I think it is very important to spend time with lonely people, hurting people, needy people and struggling people…because people need people and we all at one time or another are lonely, hurting, needy or struggling. This post is not suggesting that you ignore all people who have nothing to offer you at this moment. God calls us to reach out and love on his children.
But what I’d like to suggest to each of us is that if you’re interested in keeping your marriage strong and together, it is wise to spend time with people who can help you and encourage you in those efforts.
Look around you. Who has been married for many, many years? Who outwardly adores her husband? Who speaks kindly of her husband? Who has gone through difficult marriage struggles and landed on her feet beside her man? Who will help you hold your marriage together?
And I’m not just talking to those of you whose marriages are barely holding on. I’m talking to all of us.
Do the people around you engage in “husband or men bashing”? Do your friends prefer to do their own thing, leaving their husbands out of the picture? Do your friends hold marriage as sacred? Do your friends encourage you to put your husband first? Do your friends challenge you be a devoted wife…no matter what?
You wouldn’t ask financial advice from your broke, scatter-brained uncle, right? Neither should you seek godly marriage wisdom from someone who truly isn’t equipped to offer it.
Choose to surround yourself with people who can show you how to love. Develop relationships with women who can encourage you as a wife to be the best godly helper that you can be for your husband.
On the flip side…no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been married, make a decision to be a good example to young girls and younger married women around you. Show others how much you love your husband and how grateful you are to be married.
Seek mentors. Be a mentor.
I do believe this is exactly what Titus 2:3-5 is all about. :)
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.