While many of you have shared with me since I wrote my Raw and Guilt posts that you can relate, that you have been or are in the same boat, or that you appreciate that I am being open – I believe I may have caused some of you to worry.
First let me say this: You all are rockin’ for caring so much. Thank you. God is powerful and I can tell you are praying. Second, let me assure you: I am okay. In fact, I’m more okay now than I ever have been. Why? How can I be more than okay when I’m going through something challenging?
That, my friends, is what we call peace that passes understanding (Phil. 4:7). This is what James meant when he said to consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds (James 1:2-4). I had to become broken in order to see the beauty God was waiting to reveal.
God is working to help me break down and clear away yuck that has been inside my head and heart for a very long time. I’m learning how to be more fruitful for Him. I’m struggling, laboring, fighting hard, and am occasionally discouraged and weary. But I am not defeated. In fact, the victory has already been won. I just happen to be on a journey right now to help me discover how to completely embrace that victory.
I love this difficult path that I’m on right now. Why? Because I don’t want to be the girl I was for 39 years. That girl was self-seeking, anxious, and almost constantly overwhelmed with life. Sure, I was a blessing to many and productive for Christ in many ways. God has used me, without a doubt. But learning to let go of self while seeking to become more whole for God? Yes! I want this!
Am I or should I be under a doctor’s care? As a matter of fact, I am. That’s actually what started all of this.
I was on a mission in September, 2012 to get on top of my migraine headaches and asthma. My migraines had been getting worse through the years, until I was having them at least twice a month. They lasted three days each time. Six days of migraines every month? No, thank you.
I found a natural doctor in a city nearby who has been giving my physical self a big time over-haul. I see her once every 3-4 weeks, and I have seen much improvement in my health during the past year. Nothing is a fast fix, as she is getting to the root of my issues, instead of just slapping on a band-aid. Through this process of physical healing, I am learning more and more about how our physical and emotional selves are intertwined. As my physical body has de-toxed, my emotional self has gone through major over-haul too. Layer after layer of emotional crud has been brought to light, and I’ve found that God wants to heal all of me.
Well now. It seems that God really intends for me to share more of this story. Put on your seat-belt. I’ll continue to share more of the lessons God is teaching me through all of this. I believe after I share more, you’ll understand why I really do find joy in this trial. Truly, there is a way to live life without freaking out, worrying, fretting, stressing out, being overwhelmed…