Several of you warned us. Many of you suggested that we do it sooner rather than later. But truly we don’t know what we’re doing here, and we didn’t know that sooner really meant, “No really. Soooooooner!” Like several weeks ago sooner.
Don’t mind me. I’m going to ramble on for a bit. I’m simply avoiding the issue. I’m hanging my head and peeking up at you sheepishly. I can’t quite come right out and say it. I’m trying. Really.
So it went something like this:
Malachi and I were outside together a few days ago. Wiggams walked up as she usually does, ready for a little snuggle. Suddenly, I gasped in shock. Malachi looked at me like I was crazy. In a weird little high pitched voice I said, “Wiggams. Whoa. Wiggams! Say it isn’t so. Wiggams, what in the world??” Malachi was like, “What, Mom? What?”
I told Malachi my suspicions. We asked Wiggams to spill it. “Out with it, Wiggams! Is it true? Is it??” Wiggams just purred and rubbed up against my leg. For a woman, she sure doesn’t add much to conversation around here.
I was in denial for the rest of the day. (I still can’t say the words.)
We showed her to Matt when he got home. We all circled around her, eyeing her with scrutiny. Together we decided resolutely that Wiggams had simply eaten an entire rabbit (family). Indeed. That had to be it. There was no other possible explanation for her widening belly.
Asa and Brittany came by later that evening. We told them our suspicions and asked Brittany what she knew about cats. She knew significantly more than we, and also she might be a little bit better at living in reality. She looked Wiggams over thoroughly, and said something like, “Well, your suspicions were correct. She did not eat a rabbit.”
So my friends. I guess it’s time to officially announce that Malachi is going to be a grandpa.
I’m just. I can’t. It’s so…
I can’t help but think that Bob Barker would be so disappointed in us. (If you’re in the Drew Carey generation, this makes no sense. Unless he says it too. I haven’t watched the show in a while. Does he say it too? Again, I’m rambling.)
My research tells me that 1-8 kittens should arrive….umm perhaps as soon as within the next couple of weeks?? (Apparently by the time a cat begins to widen in the middle there are only a couple weeks left. Help me out here, cat lovers. I only know about human babies.)
But speaking of cat lovers, so what if I am one now? Maybe I recovered from my shock and got really excited about seeing baby kitties on our place soon. Maybe I even sometimes let Wiggams crawl up on my lap while I’m having a cup of coffee in the sunshine.
Maybe I even make weirdo cutesy cat faces at her.
Thank you, Grandpa Malachi, for documenting my weird cat lady faces.
As soon as there is kitten news to share, you’ll be the first (few thousand) to know. We’ve already promised one kitten to our neighbor. Any other takers? And yes, Bob, Drew, and everyone else who told me to do this sooner rather than later – after the kittens are born and have been enjoyed, weaned, and shared – we will really and for real get Wiggams fixed.