The clock had just struck midnight. Why were Matt and I still awake? I’m not sure, but we were not to be awake for long. We were both right at that blissful point of drifting off to a peaceful sleep.
Suddenly Matt said, “Did you see that?”
Um no, I did not see that. I’m not sure if any of you are aware of this, but my eyesight without contacts or glasses is quite poor. Some might say I’m as blind as a bat, which is oh-so-punny since Matt then sat straight up in bed and said, “I think there’s a bat in our living room!”
For real? Right now? We were both so tired. But what were we to do when indeed, there was a bat in our living room? Matt got up. Team player that I am, I stayed under the covers. We discussed a strategy for getting the bat to go outside, none of which really sounded effective, but all of which involved a box, a broom, and a bath towel. What? You think you could have come up with a better idea?
By the time Matt got to the living room, the bat was nowhere to be found. He decided to go upstairs and close all the doors so as to contain it, and more importantly, keep it from going into the room where the boys slept. Ahhh – there it was! In the upstairs hallway! He slammed all the doors closed quickly, then attempted to watch the pattern of the bat flying back and forth between the hallways walls – you know – like a video game – so he’d know just when to swoop in with the broom. Or the dust pan. Or the box. Or whatever in the world might be the most effective way to get the bat outside.
In the meantime, I was still under the covers, praying for Matt to get rid of the bat quickly. And – I am ashamed to say this – I also found myself dozing off from time to time. It’s okay though. The good wife in me woke up each time I heard the broom hit the wall upstairs and I’d jolt awake to start praying again. Ain’t no one can call me unsupportive. ;)
Back upstairs, Matt had the broom in readyness for swiping. His intent was to “stun” the bat, scoop it into the box, then take it outside. You’ve got to love a man with a plan.
Ah, there it was – the opportunity! Swipe! Oh wow, and not only did it stun the bat, the bat actually fell directly into the box. How very convenient. Matt breathed a sigh of relief, then bent over to close the box. Oh but wait! The bat had a better idea. Up he flew, right toward Matt’s face!
Whap! Instinctively, Matt swung the broom again. Success! And the bat was put into the box and taken outside. Ending score: Bat 0—My Hero 1.
Matt was more than a little bit pumped up with adrenaline at that point, and as you can imagine, had a difficult time going to sleep, even if it was almost one in the morning by then. Me? Once I knew he had the bat outside, I gave my courageous husband a groggy “Great job, Babe”, then promptly rolled over and conked out. I figured that at least one of us needed a decent night’s rest in order to take care of the kids in the morning.
Told you I was a team player. ;)
Kristina says
Ha ha! Good story!
Wendy says
I LOVE how God made our men willing and able to take care of such things as bats, spiders, garbage, lawns, roofs, the list could go on and on!
Jennifer says
I wonder how the bat got in? This reminds me of the night there was a raccoon outside of our fence that the dog kept barking at, but it wouldn’t leave. I figured my husband could handle, but like you listened to the entire episode play out from under the covers, while drifting in and out of sleep. Except at some point it became apparent the raccoon was actually trying to get in the yard despite our – oops I mean dh’s – best effort. I grabbed a flashlight, threw on some shoes and ran out to help – just in time to see our dog grab the raccoon as it came over the fence and kill it. That was quite the night. And to think we were worried about the raccoon hurting our dog LOL.
erin jones says
this is hilarious! thanks for the 7 am chuckles!
mindy says
We had a bat get into our house around christmastime once. Funny, beacuse he live in a northern state and they hibernate during the cold months. After church one night we were watching the news, my husband was sleeping is his recliner and I seen something fly over my head and land on our christmas tree. I screamed. My husband woke up and said “I can’t believe that you did not scream that loud for a mouse”. Then he realized what was going on. The bat kept flying around. we opened the front door, and put a blanket on the floor and luckly the bat landed on the blanket and we were able to get it out. I did not sleep the rest of the night with the fear that there might be more.
Victoria Sconion says
LOL! My husband calls me a blind bat, but knowing him… He probably would chase me down the street with the bat. We are currently dealing with raccoons and possums! My husband is planning on buying a pellet gun to shot them since its legal to kill and trap them, but we don’t want to kill them or trap them. We just want them to stay away from our trash. lol
Kimberly S. says
Haha, I’m “blind as bat” too without glasses or contacts. Which my husband doesn’t understand why I can’t see things when I’m not wearing either. I would also be the supportive wife under the covers, although with my luck, we’d get a bat in the house on a night my husband was at work, which I’d be the one armed with the broom and the box. Eh, my grandma used to have to do that all the time when she lived in an old home, so if she could do it, I could do it too!
Kristin says
For future reference, bats navigate by using echolocation. So, if you open some doors and windows (screens too), they should echolocate to find the open space and fly outside.
Per the raccoon garbage problem, as long as you leave a food source out the raccoons will try to find a way to get it. Raccoons are amazing problem solvers. They will keep trying until they figure it out. If you kill the raccoons, chances are new ones will just come in. Best thing you can do, is come up with a better solution to contain your garbage. Try googleing for solutions.
DaNelle Wolford says
Scary! I would totally have stayed under the covers!
DaNelle recently posted…Copycat PF Changs Lettuce Wraps Recipe
Julieo says
We had a bat in our house last night too (ugh)! Do you think it could have been flying around in your upstairs before coming to your living room? Because our bat was noticed downstairs, but I found bat droppings upstairs. I’ve been googling info this morning about bats in the house when people are sleeping, scary…
Gloria says
I think perhaps your telling of the story was the best part.
Connie says
Years ago, my husband went to put on his work boots and was startled to find a dead bat inside one boot. After I stopped laughing, I said “What have I been telling you about your foot oder?!!”
Jenifer Parker says
You think you had a problem? I almost died when I saw this video of a home here in Miami with bats. I can’t understand why no one was deathly ill in that house. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc8ACBiwIyE
Laura says
I don’t want to alarm you, but if he touched the bat at all (if it touched him when it flew up at his face) he needs to discuss rabies with your doctor. Rabies is transmitted in the saliva of bats and doesn’t have to be a bite. 20% of bats carry rabies (so a 1 in 5 chance that one did). They a preventive treating dozens of people who attended an NFL game in Baltimore because of a bat swooping at the crowd without any bites, so it is all over our news. It is worth at least a coversation with your doctor or the health department. Good luck and God bless.
Courtney says
I was going to say this very same thing…I just read a newspaper article about how prevalent rabies is in bats here in the midwest. If you’ve been in close proximity to a bat, it is recommended that you call your doctor or the heath dept. to see if you need testing. Oh, and you are supposed to not release the bat if at all possible, so it can be tested, too.
Lana says
We woke up one night with a bird flying in circles around the top of our bedroom. No idea how it got in the house. We opened the sliding glass door and turned on the outside light and it flew right out!
Susan F. says
Ha! I love it. Behind every good man…..
Jolene (Homespun Heritage) says
Oh my gravy! I so needed that smile and laugh! Thank you very much!
Brooke says
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleena says
I know where you’re coming from. We had a bat in our old house for 2 nights. We thought it flew out the open door, only to discover it flying around the next night also! After several failed attempts at shooing the little guy out, my Honey resorted to using a soft air bb gun. We didn’t want it sleeping in the same house as us again with the possibility of rabies. My Honey was once again my Hero! No more bats!
Myra says
I love your stories, Laura! You always make me laugh, and this one was great! :)
Adrienne (PCS Peace) says
So glad he wasn’t bitten! But what a night! :)
Michelle W. Flannery says
That was a great story! Reminds me of the bats we used to have on a regular basis! In one place, they were living in our attic. That’s when we learned the value of bats, and how important it is to have them around. You might check your attic to see if you’ve got them there. If you do, or if you want to encourage bats around, but not in your house, get a bat box and hang it in a nearby tree (google how to make/buy the box and what to do). You’ll be giving them a home, saving the species, and the bats will reward you in return (google to find out how)!
jodie coher says
Very, very funnny! Great post!
Leah Y says
We had a bat also!! My husband works nights so I called him at work and told him to come home. Our cat kept trying to catch it. I had heard the noises it was making in the attic and thought it was a rat or a mouse. I don’t know how it got in! My hubby shot it with a bb gun and we managed to get it into a popcorn tin using the lid. The animal control came by in the a.m. to pick it up and test it. About 6 weeks later I got 8 letters in the mail addressed to each family member stating that we were not exposed to rabies. Those bats look so big with their wings spread out but yet are the tiniest when folded up!