Welcome to A Surrendered Heart: A Wife’s Journey to Love the Jesus Way. I will be sharing my thoughts here each Thursday during this 6-week class, offering printable journal pages for you to pray through on your own time, and providing discussion questions for us to talk though together. How will this work? Simply click on the “Leave a Comment” button on each post to add your thoughts, experiences, and suggestions to the discussion. If you are a newsletter subscriber, please click through to this post on my website to add your comments to the discussion to be read by everyone. I look forward to hearing what you have to say! God be praised for the gift of marriage and for allowing us to grow in Him.
Matt and I have been blessed to mentor quite a few young engaged or newlywed couples during the past few years. One of the joys of this is looking across our living room at a couple – seeing how excited they are to be marrying each other. They are beaming at each other – even as we talk through some difficult topics.
After 20 years of marriage, I rarely beam at Matt anymore. Why? Is it so hard to beam, have I forgotten how to beam, or do I feel silly beaming at the age of 41? Might it be that after 20 years I’ve learned more about his weaknesses and those sometimes overshadow his strengths – making me not even feel like beaming? I remember beaming. I remember being completely enamored. I remember.
So here I am, practically beamless. Matt doesn’t seem to miss it, or at least he doesn’t say anything about it. It’s funny (not funny) how the logistics of life, parenting, running businesses, and changing toilet paper rolls can take over a couple’s mind, keeping them from taking time to even stop and look at each other.
Wait. I just thought of a time I beam. This might be more information than you wanted to know. Should I still say it? I’m going to say it. During soccer season when I’m sitting in a chair across the field from Matt, who is coaching one of our boys’ teams, and I am cheering for our team – and then I look over at Matt, who is so very good at coaching and also looks very good in athletic gear – it makes me all melty and I think to myself, “Man he’s hot.” Okay, there. I said it. I beam on the soccer field.
I bring up the beaming and the hot soccer coach (he’s mine. back off.) for this reason: It’s good for us to think back to the time before we were married.
What were we looking for in a husband? What attracted us to our man? Why did we marry this guy? The reasons were many, and at that time the strengths outweighed the weaknesses. The weaknesses are real – they are. But I’ve found it beneficial as of late to reflect on that guy that made me so crazy I couldn’t see straight. The guy that I couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle toward. That guy.
Scripture to Consider
Anytime you find your heart focusing on the negative (about your husband or life in general), it might just be because you aren’t spending enough time in the Word. The more time we spend with Jesus, the more easily our hearts find a kingdom focus. I can’t encourage this enough: Be in the Word. Daily. Not with a check-list mentality but with a surrendered heart, open to hear what God needs to teach you.
Each week of this class, I will be offering us a scripture focus that I have found to be helpful with the topic at hand. But one or two scriptures isn’t enough. Take this scripture focus and run with it. Read. Pray. Meditate. Listen.
I chose Luke 6:45 for us to focus on together this week. Why? Because if your heart is focused on your husband’s weaknesses instead of his strengths (aka the reasons you married him and the ways he’s grown during the time you’ve been married) – the outpouring of your heart is going to be ugly. Focus on the good, and good will pour out of you toward your husband. Having trouble finding the good? God’s right there waiting to show you. Pray. Listen. Fill your heart with good.
This week, take time to consider why you married your man. Print the following sheet to add to your Surrendered Heart Journal and write down the reasons. Write what made you beam. Write the strengths he had/has that attracted you to him in the first place. It’s so good to look back and remember.
I found that opening my heart while reading through different passages, including Luke 6:45, and then writing my Why I Married Him journal page gently turned my focus toward a prayer for strength in letting God fill my heart with His goodness and the truth about my husband’s strengths. Wouldn’t you know it, I have found more reasons to beam. God’s good like that.
Up For Discussion…Share with us:
- What is one of the reasons you chose to marry your man?
- What ways do you find it helpful to store up good in your heart regarding your husband?
- What thoughts come to mind when you hear the words of Jesus, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks?”
- What makes you beam? Go ahead. Tell us. ;)