Comments on: Suggestions for Helping Grieving Families

By: Becca

Becca — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:32:57 +0000

Thank you for posting this. It’s God’s timing, I’m sure. We just got a call last night that my cousin passed away yesterday, leaving behind a wife and young daughter, and I have been trying to understand what to do. This was great advice for me to hear right at this time. Thank you again.

Peace in Christ,
Becca

By: chinamama4

chinamama4 — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:41:15 +0000

When my Dad passed away several years ago, the one “food” gift that stands out in my mind was the huge cold cut and cheese tray my cousin brought my mom and me. We needed to eat, but we were just not up to the heavier fare of lasagna, calzones and spaghetti casseroles (can you tell our family is Italian?). She included several loaves of bread and rolls and some fruit, and Mom and I were able to just slap a quick meal together that required no preparation or heating, and wasn’t heavy on our already touchy stomachs. We were also able to offer sandwiches to visitors. I always remember this kind gesture and try to do the same for others…
I’m so very sorry for your loss, Laura. I know how very much my cousin and his wife mean to me, and I can only begin to imagine your loss. Praying for you and your family…

By: Chelf

Chelf — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:15:04 +0000

I wanted to express my sympathy to your family at the funeral and the graveside service. I was struggling with how to approach the males in the families… I don’t do so well hugging on people I don’t know. I asked my friend what I should say, and she said something profound.

“Say nothing. Just go. Hold their hand, hug them.” I got to thinking about it, and she was right. Sometimes the best thing to SAY is nothing. In the Bible, Job’s friends were great… until they opened their mouths and made things worse.

Great post!

By: Niki Nowell

Niki Nowell — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:01:10 +0000

What a great post Laura! All were excellent suggestions. I wouldn’t have thought of the toilet paper either…how practical. I appreciated notes and emails in the weeks following our losses – there have been several. Just knowing I was loved and being thought of brought me comfort and joy.

I’ve been thinking of you and Sally and the rest of your family this past week.

By: Linds

Linds — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:55:50 +0000

This is great information. Thanks for posting. We had two couples close to us that each lost a family member this last week, it was hard to know what to do but these are great ideas.

By: Donna

Donna — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:19:55 +0000

Laura,
Thank you for taking the time to share this with us.

Several times I have wondered about some of these things like this and didn’t know if I ’should’. Thank you!

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:45:37 +0000

The “other” Tiffany has some wonderful suggestions about grieving with a parent who has lost a baby. She also links to another blog with a post about “entering itno someone else’s suffering” which is also a great read.
http://tdlough.blogspot.com/2008/01/thursday-thirteen-1-things-to-say-or-do.html

By: Michele

Michele — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:31:32 +0000

In walking alongside my best friend through her journey of grief these past few months, one helpful thing I was able to do (besides the things you mentioned: kleenex, food, etc.), was to do her laundry and clean her house. I would take laundry home with me after taking a meal/spending time with her, wash it at home, and then bring it back.

Michele
http://www.frugalgranola.blogspot.com

By: Sally

Sally — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:24:20 +0000

Ooh, what a great post idea. You nailed it, Laura! I didn’t know ANY of these things until last week.

And I have to emphasize FRUIT. We LOVED all the fruit that people brought. It didn’t show up until about the 3rd day and we were so tired of eating all the junk food (cakes, pies, cookies, candy, chips) that the fruit was very welcome as a healthier choice.