Hey, Mom.
I woke up thinking about you today. It’s funny that even though you’ve been gone for almost 11 years, I still have to stop myself from picking up the phone to call you on your birthday. I smiled knowing that you would have chuckled at the thought of that, but then reality and irony hit about the whole situation so I got teary-eyed. Then I teared up again later on the soccer field watching Elias play (tears and timing rarely make sense, right?). So now I’m writing you, not because you’ll ever read this, but because I need to write it.
I remember loving that your birthday and Mother’s Day were so close together – kind of like May was your month. Now I sort of hate it because it almost seems cruel to be hit so hard all at once with missing you on all of your special days all at the same time. But shoot. If I’m going to get weepy out on the soccer field anyway, maybe it’s better to just knock it all out at once instead of dragging it all out.
If you were here, I would have bought you a new blue shirt – because I always got you a new blue shirt for your birthday and you always loved it. Matt and the boys will be grilling burgers for me tomorrow; then we’ll play some Mother’s Day soccer. It’s our tradition. Who knew, right? Yep. That’s my life. Boys, boys, boys…and sports. And also food, of course.
You would be so amazed at these boys, Mom. Every day we see God working in them to grow them into Christ-like leaders. They are getting crazy tall, too. You knew that would happen though, right?
And Asa. Your oldest grandchild. Well, he’s graduating from high school next week. (With a 4.0 I might add, which truly is neither here nor there, but I know you’d be proud because he has worked so hard, and also – scholarships!) Lots of people are coming into town to celebrate. We’ll miss you. I’m making your dip for Sunday night.
Grammy and Asa, June 1997
I’ve pretty well got the kitchen thing figured out, but sometimes I wish I could ask you stuff, and I still can’t turn out a Sunday roast like you could. What in the world was your secret?
You would love seeing how many ladies God has used to bless me at times I miss you the most. So many ladies – because God always knows. My aunts are the best, and so are many others from church, our community, and even online (that’s a thing now). Dad’s wife, Tacy, loves us so sweetly (is it weird to talk to you about that?). Truly, the two of you would have been friends. Well, anyway. Just know that, while of course no one will ever replace you, I am well cared for.
Uncle Richard and Uncle Wayland joined you this year – a rough few weeks for the Hamm family. This summer’s Hamm Bash won’t be the same, but we’ll just love on each other and appreciate each other all the more.
One last thing. I love coffee now! I knew you’d be tickled about that. Had I learned to love it earlier, we could have enjoyed it together. But hey, since I never learned to like quilting like you did, at least I learned to like coffee. It’s a close second, right?
So Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day all right here two days in a row. I’ll smile now as I celebrate your life and the gift of motherhood. And if I ever take up quilting (don’t count on it), I’ll be sure to let you know.
All my love,
Laura
Tiffani Keyes says
Beautiful, Laura! Thank you for allowing us inside such a sweet and tender area of your life. You’ve made me sit back and think twice about cherishing every moment with the ones we love!!
Tammie Baker says
So very touching! It made both laugh & cry!
Shaela Haney says
Both our Mothers have the same birthday May 9th! Beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing.
Mud Puddle Soup says
(((hugs))) and beautifully shared.
Monika says
Laura, I feel the same as you do. May does not hold the same for me either. I don’t look forward to my birthday or Mother’s day since Megan has passed away. She passed away the day before Mother’s Day in 2012. I prayed she would not pass away on my birthday, which she didn’t, but I forgot to ask God to not take her till after Mother’s Day, So the next day she passed was Mother’s Day. God knows what is best for our loved ones better than we do, but it still is difficult!! Keep your chin up and be blessed with all the wonderful memories you had with your mom. I loved her dearly!!! She blessed my life in many ways. Love you Laura!!! (((hugs)))
Laura says
Praying for you as you are missing Megan. Love you much!
Lisa @TrueFaithful.com says
Laura,
Time doesn’t take away the sting of losing such a great love. What sweet words for your mom! I will be praying for you as I will for several others that will have a hard Mother’s Day for different reasons.
Amy says
So. Now I feel totally cheated that I never knew your mom.
Thankful for the chance to spy on your dad once in awhile, though. ;)
Mimi says
Oh, my. I’m in tears reading this, Laura. So beautiful. I also lost my mom, when I was 31 (five years ago), and her birthday is in May. Some days are just so darn hard to get through and I wish I could call her to help me through. I am sure your mother would be so proud of you, and I look forward to the day when we are all joined together, with no more tears. Happy Mother’s Day to you, friend! (I know we haven’t met, but I feel like I know you well enough to call you “friend”… Is that weird? ;-)
Su says
Crying with you. It’s almost two years since my mom died; however, she really left me years before due to Alzheimer’s. (she didn’t know who I was). My sister, who was also like a mom to me, died almost seven years ago…sad, lonely, and really, really missing them both.
Anyway, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.
Ashley says
Beautiful way to honor your mom. My heart lurches for you for the double whammie of two special days so close together. Some sweet day you’ll see her face to face again. I feel for you!
In the meantime- let’s fervently love well those we have and not let those important words go unsaid! You’re a blessing Laura.
Jana says
Love this post! Your mom would be so very proud of you and your wonderful family. Sending you extra prayers and love on this “special” Mother’s Day.
Jane says
Very beautifully shared. Thank you.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Hannah says
Beautiful. Thank you for being so raw and real and sharing your heart. Your words are lovely and true and full of hope. I’ll be praying for you today.
Kellee says
Thanks, Laura, for making me cry ;-) I enjoyed reading your sweet post. I’m sorry your mother is no longer here to sip coffee with… and I’m sorry mine lives too far away and can’t drink coffee! But, like you, am thankful for the time I do have with her, and the many other ladies in my life! Happy Mothers Day to you… and you have four handsome boys!
Charlotte Moore says
Oh how sweet and made me cry too. My 95 year old aunt went to her final home this morning. She was such a hard worker and loved everyone. I had been staying with her once a week for about 2 years. She had been diagnosed with dementia about 3 months ago. Thank the LORD she didn’t have many times that she didn’t know us. I PRAYED she would not linger on and on and not know any of us. GOD is FAITHFUL!! Sad yes, but she is having the best Mother’s Day ever. She was the last of her siblings.
HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY!!!
Katie says
Thanks for sharing about your mom, Laura. My Mom would be 52 in July, and I was thinking about her today as I drove *my* 3 sons to church. She passed away in March 2008, just before my first son was born. I remember how fun it was picking out Mother’s Day gifts for her, and wish she was here so I could continue the tradition.
Mrs Low (Aus) says
Laura, I cried as I read your post. It was such a beautiful tribute to an amazing lady. The raw emotion captured in your words really spoke to my heart. Thank you for sharing something so personal. May God continue to bless your mom’s legacy through you and all the people touched by her life.
Birdie says
Amen Laura. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts. Your letter is lovely. This will be a comfort to you and to many others that are close to their mothers.
Amber says
Laura,
What a beautiful post! I always feel a bit blah in June – my dad passed the weekend before Father’s Day in 1999, but sometimes it falls the same weekend. It is tough – but your post touched me more than when I think about my Dad. You wrote it so beautifully, and I think I might start doing something similar for my Dad and my Gma!
kentuckylady717 says
Crying too, what a great article about your mom….I wasn’t raised with my mom, and she passed away 2 yrs. ago, I think about her, always on Mothers’ day and her birthday….,you are blessed to be raised by your mom, I was not….but I made sure my kids did not go thru what I went thru…..I spent Mothers’ day with my daughter and her family they took me out for dinner, then for ice cream, my son is out of the country so I did not get to see him, he sent Flowers & Candy and he called and we talked over an half hr. so I had a good mothers’ day as possible….
Your article was so touching….wasn’t expecting to be crying so early in the morning…..love your articles you write……
Karen ODell says
Precious girl. Love you!!
Laura says
Love you, Auntie! So thankful for you.
Monica says
I had the pleasure of knowing your parents through SMC and always admired your mom’s servant heart (as well as your dad’s). I stumbled across this, and as I teared up, I felt compelled to say something to you. It is absolutely beautiful what you have written and makes me treasure the relationship I have with my mom even more. Thank you for sharing your heart and memories of such a sweet woman!
Linda G. says
Well, I guess I needed a good cry. Besides my own mom, whom I miss dearly, your mom was probably the next greatest Christian woman who impacted my life. That may sound strange since we didn’t see each other more than one week or so each year. But she taught me so much and I am so blessed to have had her presence in my life.