My husband and I have been married since 1994. That makes us oldie-weds. As you can see, life together has become dull and sad.
Can I tell you something about marriage?
It humbles me. It grows me. It blesses me. It changes me.
Consistently loving each other Jesus’ way is hard. Then there are the times marriage is so glorious I feel undoubtedly that participating in this partnership is an actual form of worship. You can’t experience amazingness in marriage and not praise God. You can’t.
Well, we can’t.
I guess that’s because we’ve learned that by ourselves, we’re just so-so. I mean, sure. He thinks I’m great. I think he’s great. But I have noodle brain frequently (just try to figure out what I’m talking about or why I’m suddenly crying). He occasionally forgets important conversations as if they never happened.
On our own, we’re just normal. (Our kids love how normal we are.)
What I mean is – two people can love each other and stay married until death and this is so great. But with God and because of God, together we experience God through all of the hard and the good. And that, my friends, is why the glorious moments of marriage become worship.
God takes two normal, nice people (and also the not-normal, sometimes not-nice people) and He does incredible work to make better results happen than if the two of them were just normal alone.
It’s God’s math. 1+1= more than 2
Matt and I have experienced this over and over. But only because of God. Without him, we’re just plain ol’ married people. With Him, we thrive. Every time we experience God at work in us that is so obviously beyond what we, as normal people, could produce – it is worship.
So how about the parts that bring us to our knees, but not so much because we’re so full of praise? How about the anger and frustration and hurt and the walls and the bitterness?
As a normal person with a normal husband, there have been moments so difficult I find them hard to speak of. But because God softens and molds and heals, He turns these back into worship.
It takes a heart of surrender – though not the kind which means we wave the white flag to one another. The kind in which we realize that we cannot do this alone. Cliche? Whatever. It’s true. I’m a mess and I need Jesus if I’m going to ever come close to loving my husband the Jesus way. Surrendering to my spouse is not enough. I’ve got to let go of my entire self before the Father so that He can fill in every gap and work His power.
Side note: If you think it’s hard to “let go” of control, try recognizing that what you’re doing is actually harder. Once you let go and let Peace do His work? Well, now. You’ll wonder why you tried to hold on for so long.
It was during a particularly dark time for me that I wrote this:
It changed me. It changed our marriage. It wasn’t the words I wrote; it was the Truth that I learned. I mean, try as hard as you want to make your marriage great. But you’re just a normal person. You and I are talented and smart and determined, no doubt. But it’s only when you stop trying and instead surrender to God’s work that you will find hope and healing. I know this. I live this.
I could go on and on, but how about you just read all the articles and download all the printables because they are free and I want you to have them. I love marriage and I love what God can do when we choose to surrender ourselves to His power.
Intro: A Surrendered Heart: A Wife’s Journey to Love the Jesus Way
Read Lesson 1: Why I Married This Guy
Read Lesson 2: So, What Does Your Husband Do?
Read Lesson 3: How Selfish is Your Prayer?
Read Lesson 4: Serve Because I Want To
Read Lesson 5: It’s a Choice
Read Lesson 6: Don’t Forget
Bonus: What Do You Mean, Surrendered Heart?
A few years before I wrote the Surrendered Heart series, Matt and I wrote 26 posts together, Healthy Marriage Tips from A to Z. Yes. We’ve been passionate about healthy marriage for a long, long time.
~Appreciate Your Spouse~Buoyancy in Marriage~Consult Your Partner~
~Dream Together Part One ~Dream Together Part Two~Empower Your Spouse~
~Have Fun With Your Spouse~Give to One Another~Honor Each Other~
~Be Intentional~Jubilee~Kingdom Focused~Listen~~Mentor Relationships~Nourish~Own It~
~Pray With Each Other~Quick to Listen~Read Together~Selfless~Teamwork~Uplift~Vulnerable~Worship~
~X in a Healthy Marriage~Yield~Zeal~
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