Kingdom Focused

~Appreciate Your Spouse~Buoyancy in Marriage~Consult Your Partner~
~Dream Together Part One ~Dream Together Part Two~Empower Your Spouse~
~Have Fun With Your Spouse~Give to One Another~Honor Each Other~Be Intentional~Jubilee~

Dethroning King Dumb – Matt’s Thoughts

I’ve found that praying the same brief Biblical phrase for several weeks at a time works for me. It is similar to steeping tea. The longer the phrase stays in my head to “brew” the stronger an impact it makes on me. For a couple months now, I’ve been regularly praying the following phrase Jesus used when he taught how to pray: “Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  My understanding is that I am to be his instrument in making this happen. I want to be a part of bringing God’s Kingdom to us, accomplishing His will on earth as it is being accomplished in heaven. I should live to please my King. My problem is King Dumb – that’s me – wants to do his own thing. King Dumb has his agenda. King Dumb builds his castle waving his prideful banner. King Dumb feeds his desires.  King Dumb cares for others when King Dumb benefits.

Living in our own little King Dumb, or Queen Dumb if that fits you better, is not beneficial to a marriage.  The healthiest marriages I have witnessed contain two people with one focus, one purpose, one Lord, one Kingdom. Their lives reverberate another of Jesus’ prayers, “Not my will but yours be done.”

Don’t Mess With My To-Do List – Laura’s Thoughts

My world is full of “to-dos”. I have writing to do, laundry to do, dishes to do, cooking to do, cleaning to do…a never ending list of to-dos. I get a lot of work done each day. Why? Because I’m driven and am very task oriented. I can knock out a long to-do list and then come back for more. Yes, I’m very good at accomplishing many tasks each day.

What about the kids? What about my husband? What about my church family, my neighbors, the people I run into at the store? What about them? Get out of my way – I have a to-do list.

This is me when I am not being Kingdom Focused.   Pretty, huh?

I’ve had to learn the hard way that life is not about me or my to-do lists. In fact, not only is life not about my to-do lists, it is instead very much about others. People. God’s people. When I pry my eyes and brain away from my tasks and look instead to the needs of the people God has put in my life, I find that suddenly that laundry pile has very little significance. The clothes still make their way into the washing machine, but my heart no longer dwells on the never ending list of to-dos. When I truly seek to live as Jesus wants me to live, when I stop and listen to what God wants me to do, when I begin to care more about loving others than loving my list…much can be accomplished for God’s Kingdom.

Today’s to-do list? Focus on God’s Kingdom.

Ladies, we know you’re reading here more often than the guys. ;)  We’d love husbands to read this article as well. If you feel so inclined please send the link to your husbands, or if it’s easier, we’ve created a downloadable article for you to quickly print off and share.   Healthy Marriage Tips A to Z – Kingdom Focused


  1. says

    You guys are so wonderful. I relate to both ideas. I S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E to put God’s will ahead of mine. I also struggle with the to do list syndrome. Man, it is so hard to pull my focus away from that. One big reason I am following this series of yours is b/c it does just that: it helps me pull out of my me-focused desires and to-do lists and focus on what is really important: serving my God and my family. Thank you.


  2. says

    I call it navel gazing. When all I see is my navel then I am unable to look up and see anything else. Stopping the merry go round that we live in the 21st century and take the time to listen to God’s will, His will and purpose will come through.


  3. says

    Great thoughts from both of you. I’m in a ministry (PWOC – Military ministry for women) whose theme this year is “your Kingdom Come” and have also been doing a lot of seeping in the phrase….. I’d never thought of King Dumb – but HOW PERFECT….loved both your thoughts. Thanks for sharing.


  4. Too Late says

    Urgent vs Important: Us men can get distracted with their jobs, chores around the house, kids, and hobbies. While being devoted to providing for a family (work, chores) and being a good dad are important and often present a husband with urgent tasks that must be done, a man must never lose sight that his career will come to an end and his kids will leave the house but, God willing, his wife will be with him till death. While a job and kids can be urgent and time consuming, his wife should be the most important person in the world. Wives can get distracted by kids, being a homemaker, a job, or hobbies. While kids, chores or a job may provide urgent tasks that must be done, none are more important than the attention she gives her husband. The kids will grow up and leave the nest, chores can usually wait, careers come to an end but, God willing, your husband will be with you till death. So what is urgent in your life that keeps you from what is really important? Yes, your husband should be the most important person in the world to you. As spouses, we understand the urgency of kids, a job, or chores, however, you must make time for each other. Fill each others “love tank” and build up “love equity” so that when tough times come (and they will) the bond of love will be there to sustain you and strengthen you along with the God and his word. Signed…too late.


  5. Michelle H. says

    Wow – I soooo needed this post this week. My to-do list has been taking over my life lately, and I need to just burn it and start over. The 5 year old wore dirty shorts to kindergarten last week because I chose to read extra bedtime books to the kids instead of finishing the laundry. After the initial “no clean clothes!” panic in the morning, I realized it’s not the end of the world (and got online and ordered him some more clothes for school). Remembering that spending time with the kids is more important than finishing my chores is something I struggle with daily.


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