I Love Mother’s Day. Why Am I So Sad?
ByToday is Mothers’ Day. I love being a mother. I am so thankful that God blessed me with four wonderful children. I take them for granted, when truly they are the best gift God has given my husband and me.
My husband and boys do a wonderful job making Mother’s Day special for me. They don’t let me cook. They don’t let me do dishes. They take special annual Mother’s Day pictures out by the peach tree we planted four years ago. I love celebrating Mother’s Day with my men.
And yet, for some reason…all I can do today is cry.
I miss my own mama.
And today would have been her 61st birthday.
Why in the world did her birthday have to fall on Mother’s Day this year? Mother’s Day is hard enough. Her birthday is hard enough. Both on the same day? Ugh.
For a couple of weeks now, so many things I’ve seen and heard are painful reminders that I no longer have my mom around. Our radio keeps asking people to call in and share about why their mom is so special. There are ads all over the place suggesting that we should get our mothers flowers and other wonderful gifts.
You know what I would have given my mom for Mother’s Day/her birthday this year?
A new shirt.
Because that’s what I gave her every year. Because that’s what she always wanted. Because she loved getting new shirts. Because even though it felt boring and unoriginal to give her the exact same thing every year…if I didn’t pick out a new shirt for her…deep down I think she would have been disappointed. Because she loved getting a new shirt. And she loved it when I was the one picking out the new shirt for her. I knew just what she liked.
This time of year, I am drawn to shirts that my mom would have liked. When I am out shopping, I see a cute button up blouse (usually in some shade of blue) and I almost buy it. Every year. Because I always got her a new shirt.
And now, every year, I hurt and feel joy at the same time when I see a shirt that she would have liked for her birthday or for Mother’s Day. And I feel ridiculous standing in the clothing department with tears running down my face because for Pete’s sake, it’s a shirt. Who cries over shirts?
I do. Every May.
Anyway, I love Mother’s Day. It’s a wonderful day to honor precious women in our lives.
But today, I’m hurting. I’m weepy. And I miss my mom.
I figured you wouldn’t mind if I shared that with you.
Saying a prayer for you today, Laura. I know your pain.
Today I made omelets for breakfast for my family. My mother taught me how to make “perfect” eggs. It’s one little thing I could do to honor her memory. She is dearly missed. I have so much hope that she is now enjoying the rewards of Heaven…with your dear mother.
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I’m sorry Laura. :-(
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Oh Laura, I can only imagine how hard Mother’s Day is, and then for it to be your mama’s birthday, too. I hope your boys make it an extra sweet day for you, and I will have a BIG hug for you in two weeks (you ARE coming down for Mem Day, right???). Happy Mother’s Day — you are an AMAZING mom and super fun cousin!
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
YES, I’m coming for Mem Day and I’ll be looking forward to that hug!
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I’m so sorry, Laura. May I make a suggestion? I think that your mother would be honored if you would take a single mom shopping and buy a shirt for one who would be blessed by your gift and the reason you are giving it (if you want to share the reason). My Dad left when I was young and I think that a gift like this would have encouraged my mother so much and built a neat friendship.
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Such a beautiful idea…thank you.
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I’ll say a prayer for you lady. Cast your burden on Jesus, for He cares for you. (Courtesy of the Donut Man…children’s song stuck in my head, but it’s a good one.)
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Bless you, Laura…May you find great comfort in the loving arms of your heavenly Father and your wonderful family today…
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Big hugs!
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Laura- We miss your mom also just know she is down smiling at you. She was always kind to our family what a wonderful woman. Miss ya BJ.
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
So good to hear from you Janice…thank you so much for your comment.
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I’m so sorry! What a hard day for you. I’ve found myself weepy today as well, but I think it is because my mom is far away, things haven’t been great lately, I’m 36 weeks pregnant and all that good stuff. No real reason to be upset (although my husband could sure use a tutorial from yours!) but I think it is kind of a hard day for me. I’m cooking, cleaning, and getting ready to have my in-laws over. They are good people, I’m just not close to them and I kind of wish I could be spoiled today instead of having to work for someone else…selfish, huh?
Okay, enough blabbing. You have a good cry when you need it and snuggle up with your guys. Being a mom is awesome and a gift and opens up places in us that we never even knew existed. Take care of yourself! Your mom knows you miss and love her…someday you’ll be together again.
Heather
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Thinking and praying for you today, Laura. Get some snuggles from those precious boys. Hugs…
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((((hugs))))
Buy the shirts, make a mom quilt and have it hug you every time you miss her.
My parents are on the other side of the planet. I miss them too!
Lets have some homemade ice cream and cry!
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Thinking of you and praying the Lord will bless your heart in so many ways today!
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I can’t imagine the pain you go through each year with this … I know it was always hard on my mom after my grandmother went to be with Jesus. Prayers and hugs being sent your way.
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So very sorry. Sending hugs.
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Sending a hug and prayer your way!!
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I love you, Laura, and I’l be praying for you. And then I’ll give a GREAT BIG hug when I see you tonight, and you can keep on crying, if you want.
Your mom was a great mom. You know how I know? Because you are. I look up to you every day I see you with your boys. Thank you for your example, and thank you to your mom for you.
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Hugs… Maybe the best thing to do would be to buy that shirt and send it to the girls in Thailand that your family supports. I am sure one of those girls who are going through a really rough time would benefit a great deal from a pretty blue blouse :)
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Today is hard for me too. My husband doesn’t think holidays are special. On top of that, my mother and I aren’t getting along because she is not christian, and she sees no problem with drinking and cussing around my children. It has been a long road to where we are, and that is we just are not speaking. I am questioning my abilities today, because just before I changed my cell phone number, my mother sent me lots of text messages telling me how stupid, lazy, worthless etc, she thinks I am. I’m praying for you, please pray for me? That goes for anyone else who reads this and wants to pray for me :-)
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
I will pray for you, Blair! Remember that God is EVERYTHING to us!!!!
(((HUGS)))
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
God bless you Blair, I’m praying for you. You did the right thing to change your phone number…you do not need to receive those toxic text messages. You are not stupid, lazy or any other negative thing….you are a great wife and mother and you love the Lord. I am very proud of you.
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Oh my heart aches with you. Praying for you and Blair too. Thank you for sharing.
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I feel your pain. My mother is in heaven waiting for me and has been for that past 14 years. I work in a jewelry shop and hearing people talk about what they are getting their moms for Mother’s Day makes me mad. I miss my mama too and wish so badly that I could hold her or hear her voice. I’m glad I will see her again in heaven. (((HUGS)))
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hugs*
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Laura, I pray the Lord comforts you today. I can’t imagine how you must feel.
I lost my mom … let’s see, June will be 10 years ago. She was 48. Barely. I’d been married 2 weeks. I don’t want to be cliché AT ALL, but the “loved and lost” quote comes to mind… I loved my mom, but never had that ‘mother/daughter’ relationship with her. I do not feel her loss like others might. Sometimes that saddens me, and I wonder what it would be like to have had (for instance) a mom like yours, or a relationship like that. I have four daughters and I wonder if I’ll know how to be a mom to them when they’re older, whether we’re building something, whether it’s the right building, whether it’ll last… I can only trust God and manage today, I suppose.
I hope your blessings start ‘feeling’ stronger than your sadness! Prayers for you, and Blair too…
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“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Praying God’s peace and comfort on you today!
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I’m praying for you today.
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Laura,
Your mom was born the same day and year as my mom!
I’m so sorry she is no longer in your life. I feel the same way…but in June. I lost my father, it’s been 19 years but it seems like yesterday.
Remember she is always with you in your heart. She is always there when you remember her. Remember the fun times!
I’m praying for you Laura.
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 8:48 pm
WOW!! I find is so comforting that your mom is the exact same age my mom was. Thank you for making me smile through my tears today…Prayers for you on Father’s Day. :)
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Praying for His comfort and peace for you this month and especially today.
I say buy the shirt, or any shirt, and bless someone else in her honor. You could start a new tradition. Do what brings you joy and Him the honor.
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love to you.
We all don’t mind one bit that you shared this…most of us have a bit of sadness on mother’s day too, so we love to know that others are shedding tears also! =)
blessings,
tarena
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I love you and wish I could be there for you…I know it’s not the same, but you can treat me like your treated your mother ANYTIME…..and the kids can call me and ask me for things on their birthdays…heehee
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This my 5th Mother’s Day without my mom so I completely get where you’re coming from. Every year I bought my mom a nightgown, nothing fancy but I always knew exactly what she wanted. And she loved getting it every year because it’s rarely something we moms buy for ourselves. Her death wasn’t unexpected as she was very ill her last year on this earth but I know she is completely healed and perfect with our Father in heaven. I think it’s those sweet memories we have of them that make these days bearable until we see them again. Saying an extra prayer for you :-)
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A huge cyber hug to you!!! Today is hard for me too. And I’ve been crying on and off all day. My mom is really sick now. She’ll need a liver transplant soon. the dr upped her dosage on Friday of her one medicine. And has been having problems ever since. She can’t even walk right now. She’s not herself, she’s confused, really just out of her mind. I miss my old mom. I want my mom back! She’s only 61!
I’m hurting so much, and it doesn’t help that I’m 2,000 miles away. Everyone keeps on saying it’ll be ok. But it’s not helping me!
Thanks for letting me vent. Happy Mother’s day!!
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Laura Reply:
May 9th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
And a big cyber hug back at you. It is SO HARD to be away from your mom when she is so sick. I hated being away from my mom when she was so ill, but 2000 miles away?! That just feels like torture. I understand wanting your “old mom” back. Thank you for venting here…I’m glad you felt safe to do that. God bless you very much…
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Danielle Reply:
May 10th, 2010 at 7:55 am
Thanks Laura!! I’m hoping to be able to go down and see her at the end of the month.
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Well…your mom did rock. I miss her too. Love you.
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So sorry that Mother’s Day is hard for you. But you’re not alone. Another blogging friend is going through the same emotions as you, having lost her mother to cancer 10 years ago. I’m praying for you both.
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Bless you Laura!!! Sometimes I miss my mommy too!! There is no replacement for such an irreplaceable person. Maybe next time you could buy the shirt you would have bought for her and wear it yourself. It would be like a great big hug from your mom all day and you can think of her and remember her while you wear it… ;)
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Laura, I’m sorry today was so hard for you. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. My mother lost her mother about 6 weeks ago, and it is difficult to go through mother’s day when they’re gone. Prayers said for you, and the woman in the comments above who is really struggling as well.
Tracy
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Laura you are in my thoughts and prayers today. Your mom must have been an incredible lady…..just look how you turned out! =) May the Lord bless you, bring you peace, and help you remember all the good times. <<>>
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Laura, praying for you. Maybe you should get yourself a new shirt. And the above poster was right, I bet your mom was great.
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Laura,
I’m so sorry it has been such a tough day for you this year. I have a suggestion. I know that it won’t make you miss your Mom any less, but, since you had such a special tradition of buying her a new shirt each year, what if you still bought a shirt, in honor of your mother, and then donated it to charity in her honor / memory? Maybe you know of someone who is having a hard time, whether because of the economy, or other circumstances in their life, who would appreciate a new shirt, like your mother did (even if you gave it to them anonymously or as a secret sister in Christ)? I know it won’t ease the ache or fill the whole she left in your heart and life, but it might help a little.
Michelle
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Laura, Happy Mothers Day. You are a beautiful wonderful person and mother. I am soo blessed to have found your website, you encourage me everyday. May God wrap his arms around you, know his peace. Glory to God, you will see your mom again. AMEN.
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I am sure there are many of us who feel the same on Mother’s Day. My mom has been gone for almost 10 years and she would have turned 47 next Sunday. I can’t say that I knew her well as an adult, but I miss her dearly anyway, and I can’t believe that it’s already been a decade since she left this earth. I guess I just mostly focus on my kids instead of my mom. But I don’t think it’s silly at all to be sad today. Celebrate however it is that comforts you, and sometimes that might be having a good cry! God Bless.
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Thinking of you as you celebrate and grieve and remember and hope and love.
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Dear Laura,
I’ll be praying for you & I’ll add you to my prayer list. I also have been having a weepy Friday, I lost my mom when I was 16 and my father (his b-day was the 8th) about 12 years ago. I also want to do special things for them, there are so many reminders of them at this time of year. I always feel for my 4 kids and hubby and don’t talke too much about it.
Thanks so much for sharing honestly. May the LORD bless you and surround you with His comforting arms.
P.S. Maybe you could buy the blouse “for your Mom” and give it to someone at a nursing home who has a need. Its an idea.
Wendy
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Oh Laura! I’m so sorry. I’ve also been sad today. My grandmother died very suddenly on Friday. She was my best friend (aside from my husband). She took care of me my first year of life and we have always shared a special bond. I spoke to her almost every day and visited once a week. She is my mother-role model. She is everything I would like to be. I had no warning. I didn’t make it to her side before she passed. I went to call her this morning and I had to stop and cry. How do motherless mothers survive each day with no one to call and tell her stories to? I find myself saving my gems, little moments with my son that I would share with her, but then I remember that I can’t tell her anymore. What do we do with these stories? I’m crying for us both right now.
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Thanks for reminding me not to take my mama for granted. Love and hugs, Debbie
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My mom has been gone three years now and my dad fifteen. Mother’s day is bittersweet. The saddness lightens as time goes by, but the sting remains. Praise God for our kids, a gift. Praying that you feel God’s loving arms around you.
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Big hugs for you, Laura. You know how much I loved her, too. She was a huge influence in my life I’ve been a bit weepy today, too, missing my mom and my mother-in-law (our first Mother’s Day without her). I’m just trying to focus on all the things these wonderful women of God taught me and how I can pass those things on to my children. Love you!
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I’m right there with you. I cried all weekend. My husband & kids were wonderful. This was my first Mother’s Day without my Momma.
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God Bless you both, Laura and Blair. Although I have a great relationship with my mom, my husband doesn’t. I experience the pain first hand with him. I will keep you in my prayers and your mother Blair. Laura, stay strong and know that your mother is watching in heaven and is very proud of the mother you are and have become. God Bless you both. Stay strong in your faith. God can move mountains. Hope you both had a wonderful Mother’s Day!!!!
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Laura,
I so feel your pain and will be praying for you. I feel this way, more so in June around Father’s Day. Though my dad is still living, he is in the late stages of early-onset alzheimers and can no longer communicate with or recognize us. It is so painful to see him this way and it’s even more painful knowing i won’t hear him say “i love you” until we’re in Heaven. he has been in a nursing home for over 2 years now and since then my mom has been dealing with depression, which has been a heavy burden to carry. i’m so thankful to God for carrying us through the hard times.
i so enjoy your blog!!
~patty r.
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Laura –
My thoughts are with you. This is the first year without my mom. I tried to keep busy with work around the house and by mid-afternoon I realized when I started crying for the tenth time that I was lonely. Lonely and longing to just talk to my mom again! A big void in my life I do not think will ever be filled again! Last year I cried trying to buy a card for goodness sake however I knew it would probably be my last card I would buy for my mom…I know exactly how you feel and know that you are not alone! We have beautiful memories and we have wonderful traditions that our mothers have taught us that we do everyday with our children – they are still with us everyday and will never leave our hearts! God Bless!
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Laura, you are not alone. Mother’s Day for many is a mix of joy and sadness. I spent Mother’s Day with my mother, but it was an extremely emotional time as May 8 (Saturday) marked the first anniversary of my brother’s death. He was 33, and his death was entirely unexpected – not that it’s any easier when it is anticipated due to illness, it’s not! As my Dad commented on a Mother’s Day post I wrote on my blog. We will get through the difficult times with a “Faith that must remain unbent.” I know your Mom is looking down on you and smiling as she sees you with your children… and you, too, will see her again! Praise the Lord.
If you’re at all interested in seeing the Mother’s Day message I wrote to my mom, it’s here:
http://mcquill-land.blogspot.com/2010/05/mothers-love-never-dies.html
While it’s written for a Mother who has lost a child, I think much of it applies to a child who has lost a mother as well.
Happy Mother’s Day to you. May you enjoy the time with your boys and memories of happier times with your Mom!
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