You know what I gave Matt for Father’s Day this year? New seat covers for his truck. What? His driver’s seat was coming apart so badly that the stuffing was pulling out every time he stepped out of his truck.
Do I know how to give a practical gift or what?
C’mon. I know I’m not the only practical one around here. You all are frugal minded, practical thinkers like me right? But we doooooo like to have fun, yes?
Having fun with our spouse is so important. (I’m not just talking about that kind of fun. I mean I am. But there’s also stuff like board games and inside jokes about peanut butter. As you can see, I’m one big party.)
The longer I’ve been married and the older our kids get – I’ve gotta tell you – I’ve found it to be a little bit harder to cut loose and have fun. (What can I say? Their needs and schedules take up a lot of my time and energy. And also, I often fall asleep before our teenage boys go to bed. ‘Nuff said.)
I’ve recently been really struck with recognizing the importance of having fun with Matt in front of our kids. They need to see that married fun is THE BEST. I want them to look forward to married fun and know that it never ends.
So, fun with my spouse while the kids are around:
- I flirt with him. It’s all in the eyes…and eye brows. Or something like that.
- We laugh at inside jokes and the kids have no idea why we are laughing. (Obviously, every time we do this they think we are the coolest adults ever and they are so proud to call us their parents.)
- We let the kids catch us kissing.
- I throw my legs over onto Matt’s lap while we’re all sitting in the living room for family prayer time or to watch a movie. It’s all appropriate – and the kids need to know that we dig each other and like to snuggle even though we’re really old and have been married for a really long time.
And now let’s just briefly (and quietly) talk about fun with the spouse while the kids aren’t around.
Aside from the times we find to leave the kids at home while we go for a walk together, alone time pretty much has to be scheduled in these days since I typically stop accurately finishing sentences at 9:30 and then become comatose by 10:00 at night while my kids are saying, “Really, Mom? You’re tired already?” (If we could only tuck them in with a kiss at 8:30 like we used to. Crazy, energetic, awake teenagers.)
So quiet, alone time with Matt is harder to come by but is more important than ever at this stage is our lives. We need it. The kids need to know we need it. And while the kids mean the world to us – our marriage means even more.
Therefore, we schedule alone time together – at home if at all possible. Let me tell you something. We don’t need a restaurant. We don’t want a movie. We don’t need to go anywhere we might have to share our alone time with other people. We’re selfish like that. (Or smart. Take your pick.) Maybe when we’re empty-nesters we’ll choose to go where the people are for special outings. Right now, while the alone time is rare, we jump at a chance to look at and talk to no one but each other.
No matter how old your kids are, I’m guessing maybe you can relate.
So can I tell you one of the neatest blessings we’ve happened upon recently? We received a gift of Melt: Massage Video Series a few months ago. Normally I wouldn’t look twice at something like this. Lessons in massage? Eh. Matt has always done a great job rubbing my tight muscles and treating me to a loving back rub.
But you know what? These videos have been a wonderful gift for our marriage and our alone time together. When I think about how much money we haven’t spent on “going out” on dates – I believe the investment in this series quickly pays for itself and truly becomes the gift that keeps on giving.
No need to question the appropriateness of these videos. While I do only recommend these for married couples – simply because loving massages like this are intimate – these are very tastefully done. They are created by a professional and simply teach great massage techniques. They have offered some very special moments for us in our alone time.
Better yet? We’ve been able to take what we’ve learned from this series and enjoy the treat of a massage without the benefit of scheduling it in. This series has taught a 30 minute, a 15 minute, and even a 5 minute massage! How about that? Perfect for busy (and tired) parents who want to spend time loving on each other whenever they can find a spare moment.
Consider looking into this lovely resource. Our friends at Melt know that you appreciate a deal – because I told them that you did. :) Frugal and practical – that’s who we are here at Heavenly Homemakers, right? So for six days only, they are offering us a 20% discount on their Melt: Massage for Couples Video series.
Click here to learn all the details. You’ll even find some fun freebies there while you’re at it. Then you’ll be well on your way to massage wonderfulness.
I dare say, while Matt is really enjoying his Father’s Day truck seat covers, he appreciates even more when I tear myself away from all my other responsibilities (I’m talking to you – busy teenagers) and take the time to focus all my attention on him. I’d love to hear how you and your spouse find alone time to spend together during this season in your lives.
This post is sponsored by Couples Massage Courses. It is a pleasure to work with them and learn from them.