Gratituesday: Eye to Eye

I promise you he wasn’t this tall two weeks ago.  Close, but not quite.

It hit me a few days ago that something was different when I’d have conversations with Asa, our oldest son who just turned 14.  And then I figured it out.  I am looking him directly in the eye when we talk now.  He’s done it.  He’s caught up to me.  And if he keeps going at this rate, we won’t be seeing eye to eye for long.  Instead, I’ll be getting a neck ache when we visit because I’ll be looking up to meet his eyes.

He’s pretty proud of this accomplishment and who can blame him?

I’d just like to restate what I said last year when Asa turned 13 (you know, back when he was shorter than me).  Having a teenager is a joy.  It is not all gloom and doom like so many people warned us about.  I will admit that I’ve been taken aback by all the new territory we’re venturing through - all the new parts of life that include having a teenager (you know, like the “girls think my son is cute” part).  Good gravy.  I try to have an “Oh isn’t she sweet” attitude, but typically I tend to have more of a mother bear snarly, “Back off Sistah!” thing going on.  He is only 14, ya know.  Good gravy.

There is much we need to help guide him through, and as tough as the diaper years were, sometimes I’d like to run back to that time because even though I wasn’t getting any sleep, at least I felt more in control of the decisions our kids needed to make.  Asa will be a high school freshman this fall.  I feel a weight of responsibility as we are on our last few years of raising our son to be a godly man.  I feel inadequate as we begin to figure out the moments to let go, while at the same time, offering guidance and what I hope is wisdom as he becomes more independent.

Well now, look at me getting all weepy.  It’s just that, he’s my first baby, you know?  And we see eye to eye, can you believe it?  Thankfully, we still see eye to eye about spiritual matters too.  I pray constantly that Asa will continue to grow in his walk of faith.

God is good to walk this journey with us.  I’m thankful that He can protect Asa with a more powerful stronghold than I ever could.  I’m thankful that God saw fit to give Matt and me the opportunity to raise this teenager.  Bless Asa’s heart, we don’t know what we’re doing.  We’re practicing on him before we raise three more teens in just a few years.   But God is faithful and promises to make up for our weaknesses.  Yes, even in parenting.

Especially in parenting.

God is good. 

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Comments

  1. says

    I totally understand this whole post, except my oldest is my only girl and I think she’s stopped growing. It’s my second oldest and oldest boy who is nearing my height. Fun times watching them grow up!

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  2. Tracy Compaan says

    Oh, Laura, this is an awesome gratituesday post. I love it. I wonder when my boys (6 yo and 3 yo) will pass me up in height. And I pray that they will both love the Lord and see eye to eye spiritually with me just as your Asa does with you. I think I’ll be pretty freaked out when the girls start showing interest in them too.
    Thanks for directing our focus to things that matter.

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  3. DorthyM says

    They grow too fast. I had to smile at you saying you and Asa see eye to eye now. J, for the past several years, has absolutely LOVED! pointing out that he is taller than I am. Even in his wordless communication I get that.

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    Laura Reply:

    Dorthy – I love that J communicates that to you. That makes me smile. :)

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  4. Kellie says

    Thank You for this post! It brought tears to my eyes and I just want to let you know im grateful for your inspiration. And I think you are beautiful! God bless you :)

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  5. says

    You truly are blessed with a wonderful sweet boy. It’s hard to believe he is the same kid that I had all those years in Bible class! He is still one of my favorite kids ever and I have loved being able to watch him grow up.

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  6. Tammy says

    I can so appreciate this one. I am the tall one in our family at 5’11. So I am used as the “guide” to how tall everyone else is. My son, the oldest, is now only 1 inch away from me, but I love it!

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  7. Melodya says

    What a great and timely post. My son recently caught up to my 5’6″ness in the last month. He’s 12! 13 in a couple of weeks. He keeps standing right next to me and looking over with that funny grin, “Ha ha, mom I’m as big as you now.”

    My husband is 6’8″ and I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I will eventually look like a midget in my family. I forsee family pictures now being my husband and tall kiddos and, oh look, there’s mom’s head at the bottom. :)

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  8. says

    Right now having any of my children being old enough to be eye-level with me seems a long way off, but I can only pray that we see “eye-to-eye” spiritually, too, as you and your boys do. I so often feel like I don’t know what I’m doing as a mom to four small children, but I trust that “God is good, and God is faithful.” I’m doing the best I can, and I am trusting him to do the rest.

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  9. Brooke says

    I am so grateful for a good friend who is leading a book study. I am praying that I can really know and follow true, Godly submission to my husband, and ultimately God. I am grateful for the author, that she used her past failures, and then ultimately her wisdom and talent to write a GREAT book that many women can read and use to study God’s word on becoming the wife He wants us to become.

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  10. nichole says

    Oh no. I’m crying and my kids are only 2 and 4. I love the balance that you have created in your children’s lives. You are amazing and thank you for sharing!

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  11. Monika says

    The thought that hit me when my son was two weeks old (he’s two months now): He’s going to be taller than me! He came out of my body, and he’ll probably end up at least eight inches taller than me, how is it possible?

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  12. Meagan says

    Laura, I love that I am not the only one who loves having a teenager!! Our oldest is turning 16 in August, and I’ve got to say, even though we have had some of the teenage “drama,” I love my teenage boy more than anything!! It’s just a completely different time of life where you can do more things, share more things, talk more with them, etc. Obviously, you have to make sure the right foundation is laid when they’re younger, but this season of life has been such a blessing to us. For us, we’re beginning to transition into the period where your son moves from simply being your son and the typical parent-child relationship, into your son is his own man and you’re his friend (though you will always be his parent). It’s scary, because I don’t know if we’re doing everything right-I certainly hope we are!-but with the oldest, it’s uncharted territory :) But, by the Grace of God he seems to be turning out alright. And, he’s making me excited for the years to come with his 12 and 11 year old brothers!

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  13. Jennifer says

    My oldest will be 14 in just a couple of weeks and is 6’3 which makes him a good half a foot taller them me. :) (He thinks this is super funny) It does sometimes feel awkward correcting him while looking straight up. I love the young man he’s become, the conversations we have are so sweet. I’m so glad though that God is God and God is good, I don’t know how else we could handle the epic responsibility of guiding these boys to men who run after God.

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  14. Kristin says

    I think you may need to update your family photo on the website…he looks a head shorter in that picture!

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  15. says

    This is so sweet! And, I feel like this when I look at our oldest. He’s only 7! But, on occasion I notice how tall he’s getting or how his face is changing so much. I’m going to start crying just typing this!

    God is indeed good!

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  16. Stephanie says

    You brought me to tears!! One of my oldest (triplet 12-1/2 y/o boys) just reached the eye-to-eye status and I can completely relate about wanting to go back to the diaper stage (even with the 1000s that we changed!), but knowing that God is good and sovereign and in charge of everything gets me through. I’m so thankful to know that he is guiding all of these mighty warriors!

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  17. Sharon says

    Love the post. If you have not heard of the “Passport to Purity” set by Dennis and Babarba Rainey. I strongly reccommend it. It is set up for a Father and Son ( or Mom and daughter) to take a couple day get away. It leads you through an amazing process. It is easy, thorough, and filled with fun. It really is a lifechanging preparation for teens. It teaches them not only how to stay pure and what that means but also why to do so. Your son will thank you and so will the lady he marries some day. Check it out, you will be so glad you did. You can re-use it with each of your boys.
    God bless you! I think the teen years are the best!!

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  18. Kelly says

    My son isn’t even 17 months yet, and he is already half of my husband’s height!! And no, my husband isn’t short.

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  19. says

    Awwww! I am 16. When I was 14 I was the same height as my mom. I am her oldest too so I was the first to accomplish this great feat! But since then she had a baby and grew an inch! GREW AND INCH! Look what hormones can do to a woman! We are still both very short though. Her extra inch made her a towering 5’4″. So maybe I will be taller than her. One day. But for now I wear heels a lot to compensate for my loss. :)

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  20. says

    That’s sweet that he’s eye to eye with you! We don’t have any kids yet, but seeing a post like this gets me excited for our future!

    Today I’m thankful for our safety last night during the tornado. We live just north of Henderson and we were outside watching the sky and we saw the tornado form right in front of us! It was about a mile away from us. Luckily it formed and then started going North just passed us. We did get some pretty amazing pictures though!

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  21. Lena says

    My oldest is 18 but my youngest is 13 and I have to look up at him to talk eye to eye. He has to be almost 6 ft. by now.

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  22. Krisha says

    Thanks for this post. Reading this I realize how much I love my teen. He’s been taller than me for a while now and will be on his own a few short years. He doesn’t need me much anymore and that’s probably a good thing. There are days when I would love to turn back the clock for just a moment and see that big eyed boy looking up at me again. That little boy is gone – enjoy the little ones. Enjoy the big ones too! I’m thankful for the memories and the journey.

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  23. Shawna says

    My oldest just turned 15 and with shoes on he is 6’6″ which is a foot taller than me. However, I have the most wonderful teenage son and highly recommend having one to all I see. He takes out the trash beautifully, mows the lawn, babysits his younger siblings and oh the wonderful conversations we can have regarding basketball and golf. I am enjoying this year, because I know next year with him turning 16 and driving and jobs I will probably see him less, hear him less and miss him more. For those that don’t have a 15 year old son and don’t know where to find one, but do have a younger son. Remember what you teach him today will be who he becomes in the future.

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  24. says

    Aww I relate, but mine is only 4….as of today. I keep thinking that in a year he will be starting school and I don’t know where the time went. BTW, I guess all teenage boys have the haircut now. LOL My nephew is 13 and is hair is pretty much exactly the same.

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  25. says

    LOVE your post! Your son looks so much like you! I got teary-eyed reading this as my firstborn turns 12 soon and is starting middle school in the fall. They grow up SO FAST and like you, I am trusting in God to continue working in my son’s heart. After all, it is the Lord who changes hearts and lives. We can tee them up, but God is the one who calls the shots. I can’t even think about girls yet – my mother bear would be just as strong. I can see that I have much growing to do and letting go and letting him grow. Wow, motherhood is an incredible blessing! Thankful to God for women like you who help spur us all on to walk in deeper faith! Blessings to you, Kelly

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  26. says

    He actually looks taller than you in the pics! And you are right…if you do a good job with your little kids, you’ll have teen-agers (hate that word) who are a joy to be around…well, most of the time!!

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  27. says

    Totally relating to this post!! We will have 2- 14 year olds in September. And they are starting ninth grade in August. So great to know we have God’s word and godly husbands to help in this unchartered territory. Also…nice to know there is someone else out there practicing on their oldest!! :) Our other 2 children are 9 and 7…so a few more years to practice! LOL! I’m just thankful our twins are eye to eye with us yet…but its coming!!! Blessings!!

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  28. Karen says

    Would you mind my asking how you came upon naming your son Asa? My husband and I both love the biblical/hebrew names, and I’m always intrigued when I hear of other parents who choose such names for their children. While we don’t want to OVER-emphasise meanings, the meanings of their names are of some importance to us, and do play a part when picking a name for a new baby. :)
    My oldests are 3 1/2 (twins), so I have a while before I’m looking up at them, but boy, they sure do grow fast!!

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    Laura Reply:

    My husband Matt loved the name Asa when he heard it in a Bible class as a young boy. As he grew up, he continued to love the name. We had decided that we wanted to use names from the Bible for our children, but we wanted our names to be unique too. When he shared the name Asa with me for our oldest, I loved it too. Asa (in the Bible) was one of the few good kings who followed God. We liked that part too!

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    Karen Reply:

    Just like us. :) We have Gabriel, Isaiah & Jonah. I always loved the name Gabriel – and now I love that one of our twins is named after the angel who brought the Good News of the Messiah, and the other is named for the man who prophesied it. And then we really loved that Jonah was sent to preach to the Gentiles. It’s amazing how much time 9 months gives one to ponder all this…If God gives us another boy, I’m dying to use Malachi! It was important to us that our boys had Biblical namesakes. With our girls it wasn’t as important, mostly because most of the “good” girl names are also immensly popular. We focused more on the meanings of the names and also gave them family namesakes. Kind of fun!!
    Thanks for indulging me!!

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  29. Tara says

    Dare I say that it looks like his eyes are a smidge above yours? Wow, it’s bitter sweet to see our children grow.

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  30. Christina D says

    I’d just like to say that I LOVE that your son has longer hair. So many Christian parents make such a HUGE DEAL over something like hair and after watching my own parents struggle through a rebellious brother of mine when he was 14 who is still not walking with the Lord and he’s 30, who cares how they wear their hair? :) A heart for the Lord is what the effort needs to go into, not HAIR! Love it!

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