I have two friends.
Okay, I have way more than two friends…but right now I’m going to be talking about two friends.
These two friends are named Ima and Erma. (While these may sound like ficticious friends…they aren’t…the friends are real…I just changed their names so as not to embarrass them on my blog).
Ima’s husband has had poor health for years. Once when Ima was visiting with me in my kitchen while I was making honey whole wheat bread she looked into my pantry at my whole foods and said, “Oh, you do try to make everything healthy don’t you? My husband is always on me to cook more like this. I just don’t want to.” Then Ima shrugged.
Here’s my advice to all the Ima’s out there who have husbands that want to eat healthier:
If your husband wants to eat healthier…then I would certainly think that as his help meet you would want to work to learn a few things about healthy eating. It is not as difficult as you might think. What a great gift you would be giving your husband…which would be a blessing to your marriage and your entire family.
Now, on to my friend Erma…
Erma has a husband who sort of understands that eating healthy is a good thing…but the guy just really likes his junk food. And he loves to eat out. And he really likes giving their kids fun treats like “Fun Dip” and popsicles and hot dogs, because…it’s fun. Erma is totally into healthy eating and has had a very hard time with the way her husband likes to eat because she knows that licking colored sugar off of a sugar stick (Fun Dip) is not a good snack for her kids. And it really bothers her.
For a while, Erma fought her husband on this. She got mad at him everytime he brought home sugary cereals and white bread from the store. The kids started noticing that that Mommy got mad about the suckers Daddy would bring home for them. It was causing bitterness within Erma and tension in the family.
Finally Erma realized that her husband and kids did also eat the healthy food she prepared. The treats her husband brought home were rare…and he did it because he wanted to do something fun for his children. It was a special thing for Daddy to do.
So Erma decided that it was more important to have peace in the home than to have a perfect diet. She knew it was better for all of them to eat healthy foods…but the trouble she was creating by fighting her husband all the time about it was not worth the “unhealth” of the family. She began smiling at him and thanking him when he brought home pizza so that she wouldn’t have to cook. And she’d fire up the grill when he brought home hotdogs for a fun cook out. (And she’d get out carrot sticks to go with the hotdogs) :)
It is amazing the transformation that happened in the family when Erma just lightened up and worked to follow her husband’s lead about food. Now he even works a little harder to make sure the kids eat their veggies!
Erma, you rock.
I wanted to tell you about my friends because I’ve heard from several of you out there whose husbands aren’t as excited about making healthy changes as you are. I want to just encourage you to follow their lead. Move slowly and try new things. Make tiny changes. Make their favorite foods, just try to make them with the best ingredients that you can. Try healthier foods that are fun (like my Giant Breakfast Cookies or Donuts).
Above all, be cheerful about it. And don’t give up. As long as he’s okay with it, keep making small changes to your diet so that your family is given the nourishment they need. And, if he brings home a package of oreos…pour everyone a glass of milk and just sit yourself down and enjoy them!
What’s it like at your house? Are you and your husband “on the same page” when it comes to eating healthy? And…what’s it like teaching your kids to eat healthy foods? I’ll be talking about that soon!
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Read more Works for me Wednesday posts here.
Amy says
I have total control over my kitchen domain and over what my family eats, which is both liberating AND fun AND intimidating AND stressful at times. But I love to cook, so I’m good with all that 99.99% of the time.
If I asked him, the ONE thing that my husband would want (I’m pretty sure…) is for me to spend just a little less time in the kitchen and a little more time maintaining other areas of the house. Or maybe if I’d just get off of the computer and go get something done… that would work, too!
The Apron Queen says
My husband rarely grocery shops. The family eats what I buy. I try to not even buy large amts of junk food. My kids enjoy cooking & learning how to make healthy food. My WW is about my daughter in the kitchen.
Confessions of an Apron Queen
Blue Castle says
Beautiful and well said! I’ve been finding the same thing to be true as I am an Erma too. I’ve come to value peace in my home far more than pushing the newest health-food craze on my hubby. Your post expressed this perfectly.
Char @ DigiScrapChat says
I think hubby and I are basically on the same page. We both have our favorites when it comes to un-healthy eating, and we both are pretty spoiled about it. I personally have a REALLY hard time with the idea of using whole wheat and cooking so “healthfully” (long story, but it’s baggage from childhood), and hubby isn’t really gung-ho about whole wheat either, so it’s been easy to NOT do it. I’ve been praying about what I can do in small ways to make our menu more healthy, and I just MIGHT be buying some whole wheat in the near future. :-)
Carole Pearce says
I add in l/2 cup of whole wheat to my 2 cup recipe of biscuits. Ex. 1 3/4 cup of white and l/2 cup of ww! It’s very yummy, and yes, healthier. Also in our pancakes and homemade pizza dough. My husband truly loves it. We also always substitute applesauce/pearsauce for oil in pancakes, brownies etc. I haven’t read your entire website just got here! so U may have already shared these cooking tips?
Teresa says
I am very fortunate to have a husband who is so easy going. He is completely okay with eating healthy in our house. I am very thankful to have him on the same page as me!
Edi says
Knowing that I generally prepare healthy foods at home and the kids and dh eat what I make – I don’t worry about the times we do eat out or the kids have some “treat”.
I basically cook the way my dh wants me to…low fat, whole grains, less sugar etc. Being that I was a junk food addict before I got married and still love that kind of stuff – it was a transition. It does take time before you start liking the healthier version of something…and sometimes it doesn’t taste better or the consistency isn’t quite the same – but you know what – IT’S GOOD ENOUGH.
Heather - Doodle Acres says
What wonderful advice!!! I have found that sometimes I can get fired up by something that is of no interest to my husband. Rather than overwhelm him, I have found that small changes made gradually make for a happier marriage and I’m more likely to stick with the positive changes.
Thanks for all your wonderful recipes, etc. You are a blessings to me!!!
Cassandra Stafford says
He isnt unwilling to eat the healthy food I fix. It gets kind of stressful for us personally, funding both kinds of diets. Buying healthy foods at home and eating out or junk food on the side…its costly. Somedays, it just would seem easier (cheaper) to go back to anything goes. Trying not to get discouraged….
Lindsey says
It is funny that you just wrote about this today, because I just asked my husband last night what he was feeling/thinking about the changes we are making. It is a good thing I did too, because he is right on board, which gave me that much more encouragement and motivation to keep it up! This is probably hard for him too, because he LOVES candy!!! I doubt it will be given up all together anytime soon, but he loves what I am doing, and that makes me feel good.
Gentleshepherd says
Hi there, One thing the Lord has showed me recently… my dear husband loves his Starbucks and we have recently had to tighten our belts financially, so for the longest time I would get frustrated that he would spend the extra money, not to mention it undermined everything I was trying to do healthwise, which he is VERY supportive of. The Lord showed me that to be a good helpmeet I needed to ‘allow’ my husband this indulgence without me nagging, and seek to save money elsewhere. The man is an incredible husband, father and friend and I was being, well, lets just say very immature and nasty! He is more than willing to take a homemade latte with our organic espresso and raw milk, so I try to make that happen when I can and bless him with a good attitude when he chooses Starbucks. Twenty years of marriage and still learning! No more bad feelings, just blessing and thankfulness. Hope that helps, really seems like ‘helpmeet 101’ as I read over it;)doesn’t it?
Condo Blues says
My husband and I are on the same page when it comes to eating healthy. In fact, he’s a little bit better at it than me because I have a sweet tooth and probabbly give in to my chocolate cravings more often than I should.
The one thing both of us can’t stand is catering to fussy eaters. Neither of us grew up with a Mom who acted like a short order cook, making separate items for those who “didn’t like” that meals main menu item. Our philosophy is “that’s what’s for dinner. We arent’ a restaurant. If you don’t like it, you don’t eat” and guess what? The fussy eater ends up eating it.
Carole Pearce says
As my daughter, who is 7 taught me, You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit! Everyone is included in that!
Amanda says
My husband and I have had disagreements about what we should be eating. I have tried to incorporate many new REAL food items into our meals and for the most part I have been successful. My current battle is to get my husband to allow me to purchase raw, organic milk from a local farm. He feels that $6.25 a gallon is too expensive, and I think that it is a great price! I do believe that eventually we will switch, but I am just waiting until he says it is okay for us to go ahead and buy the raw milk. I do agree, small changes are the best way to go!!!
Sherry says
We have been slowly but surely working towards eating healthy which I think has helped a LOT. We do have occasional treats, too. I haven’t really sat down and asked dh what he thinks about it, but I haven’t heard any complaints so I guess that is a good thing. :D I’m going to ask him though. Thank you for the encouragement to have a healthy lifestyle! :D
Sharon says
I’ve been enjoying you blog for several months now, and I’m just now commenting for my first time!
We are pretty much on the same page. He was skeptical at first of a few things, but he really appreciates all of the good food that comes from me spending time in the kitchen.
Our main difference is that he seems to thrive on a carb diet, and I tend more towards protein. Thus, his main complaint is that I don’t make (whole wheat) cookies enough! I don’t have much taste for them, so he has to beg to get any.
He does bring home the occasional treat, which I also enjoy at first; but, we have both learned to detect the “icky tummy” feeling that comes after eating junk food. It’s amazing how that stuff regulates itself after a while!
Kristy Howard says
My husband enjoys healthy food and he truly appreciates my desire to prepare nutricious meals. BUT, he was raised on junk food and he still likes junk food now and again. :o)
I LOVE this post because it is SO practical… I know a lot of women can relate to this!! I’ve found that the more I nag or fuss, the less my family appreciates my “healthy” ideas. The more I encourage and respect, the more they return the favor. :o) Again, great post, Laura!
~Kristy @ Homemaker’s Cottage
Marie says
My husband only cares that there’s food. I’ve been trying to cook healtier foods. However we both like junk food every now and then. I like Char have a hard time with the whole wheat. For some recipes I do half whole wheat and half of the other stuff. But for foods like pancakes I use all whole wheat. They’re covered with syrup anyway!
Gillie says
My cute hubby has the palate of a 3-year-old. If it tastes remotely healthy it doesn’t go over well. I sneak in veggies where I can and whole wheat, too. One thing that works well for me is my mom’s wheat grinder grinds extra fine, so it doesn’t feel heavier when you substitute wheat flour. I posted a pancake mix recipe today on my site if you want to check it out
Staci says
Hi Laura!!! I just had to tell you I just found your blog over the weekend and spent a couple of hours just reading about you and your sweet family!! (my hubby was out of town…so I had more “free” time on the computer after the boys are in bed!) I AM SO EXCITED to find your blog! While I am not as good as you are with the cooking…I’d like to think I’m getting there! My husband and I are definitely on the same page and I am thankful I don’t have to worry about that AT ALL! PHEW! I’m so thankful to find your blog…can I say that enough!!??!! I’ve already made your black bean salsa…YUM! We gobbled it up in 1 day. I’m going to the Farmer’s Market tomorrow for more tomatoes!! I could go on and on…but I just wanted to say thank you for all your organization with your blog and giving us a peek at how to bring up healthy little people (and big people too!) Your boys are precious! Can’t wait to read more!!!!
tonya says
hi laura,
i love your blog & your cute sense of humor. you are such a blessing of encouragement and titus 2 teaching. you have no idea how much you’re helping me.
thank you, tonya
Heart at Home says
In our house, we’re pretty much on the same page but have had some trouble figuring out the logistics of where to cut from so that we can spend a little more on the better quality foods. We have had some successes (found and joined a co-op where we can get raw milk products and organic veggies reasonably) but we are still needing to figure out how we’ll be able to afford the grass-fed and free-ranged meats. I know it will come together for us because we’re committed to eating better, but because our kiddies have not always eaten “healthy” they still like to have treats occasionally. We try to make them as healthy as possible, but don’t stress about white sugar and white flour to the point that we won’t go anywhere for fear of what they may be serving. (We do know people who do this)
Your blog has helped me a lot and in a way, it was the catalyst for change. I had always felt that it would be irresponsible to spend so much on groceries until I read one of your posts where you said that we should be spending money on good quality fuel for our bodies. I don’t remember your exact analogy but it was something like… you wouldn’t buy a Rolls Royce and then put regular unleaded fuel in it to save money-likewise, if we want our bodies to serve us well, we need to be putting quality fuel in them. At least that’s what I got out of it. :-D
Cara says
These scriptures come to mind after reading this post:
Proverbs 15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
Proverbs 14:1 ¶Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Thank you for posting, it was good to think on this, especially since (to my shame) I have found myself in your friend Erma’s shoes at times.
May the Lord bless us with wisdom and love in this area.
Barbara says
THANKS – I needed this. I felt like I was becoming a food snob at the grocery store. I don’t buy all organic, but I wouldn’t buy non-organic of certain items. My kids were begging for peaches and I wouldn’t buy them because I couldn’t find organic. I’m learning to relax a bit and allow the family to have ‘treats’ once in a while. We bought non-organic peaches this week!
Karen says
hi! you don’t know me, but i found your blog through tammy’s recipes, and i really enjoy it a lot!! i am very much in erma’s shoes, and it can get SO frustrating when my dh doesn’t want to try new healthy food sometimes. i wish i could make everything taste good, but i’m still in the process of learning (bread is the hardest for me; any tips on how to avoid adding too much flour and still being able to knead it with your hands?). thank you for the reminder that relationships are more important than healthy eating. your homemaking enthusiasm is an inspiration to me!
Catherine says
The biggest problem my husband has with eathing more healthy food is the cost. With 6 children, groceries are really expensive. And living in a rented Defence Housing property we are not allowed to dig a garden, although I do try to grow a few veggies in pots.
5 of my 6 children are quite willing to eat their healthy fruits and veggies, but trying to keep up with their appetites !!!! I have already spent over $60 on fresh fruit this week.
DiaryofADINK says
I found you from Keeper of the Home! I really love that site and now I’m adding yours to my favorites too.
One of my goals next year is to make another move to healthier foods. This year I asked DH about his favorite meals and tried to do more of them (Even though they’re heavy on meats and thus, heavy on the food budget!).
In exchange, DH eliminated a weekly gallon of milk from his diet (we may try to bring organic back in next year) and switched from wonder bread to double fiber (store bought- I’ve never baked bread and despite so many great blogs out there I’m initimidated by the time and effort it would take… I’m not much of a baker.)
I look forward to looking thru your site for the next steps…
Hannah says
My husband was diagnosed with Candida (yeast overgrowth) IN in digestive tract and our diet was “overhauled” very quickly. We’ve always tried to eat more healthy food, but now have to eat all whole grain, no sugar (low sugar for the rest of us), fruits and veggies, no yeast (for him). We use “agave nectar” as our sweetener, subsituting it for sugar in just about any recipe. Agave has very little effect on your blood sugar.
Anyway, it’s been a really great trial for us because it has made us take a really good look at our diets.
Gina says
I am glad to have come across this today, as my husband and I aren’t exactly on the same page. He has always preferred ready-made cookie dough, frozen pancakes, waffles ect. I found this site, wrote down a ton of recipes and within a couple days had made a handful of them. I was very discouraged when he wasn’t appreciative of all the hard work I thought I was doing and he didn’t care too much for the food either. Now I see slow is the way so I don’t overwhelm his taste buds! Thanks Laura!!