Cell Phones for Kids – Question #66
ByFirst of all let me say that this question is not intended to bring up any judgmental ugliness within the comments section. Not that you all tend to have judgmental ugliness within my comments section. But just in case our opinions on the matter bring out any fiesty-ness…just remember that it’s just a question and I’m just curious about the differing ideas out there.
I’m interested to know your thoughts about allowing kids to have cell phones.
My thirteen year old is pretty sure he is the only child on the face of this earth (except for his brothers of course) who still does not have his own cell phone. We haven’t given him his own phone yet because we ultimately feel like he would rarely need it, unless of course he is all the way upstairs and I am all the way downstairs and he needs to ask me where his clean t-shirts are, in which case he could just walk all the way downstairs and ask me.
In other words…are you kidding me?
I don’t even feel like I need a cell phone at this point in my life. I’m home most of the time and oh never mind…I’ve written about this already.
I know cell phones are fun for kids and sometimes, depending on your family situation and circumstances, giving your child a cell phone can be very, very useful and helpful. If it is a matter of safety and a huge time saver in tracking down your kids, I think cell phones are one of the best things ever invented. But we personally don’t think our kids need them yet.
We’ll probably look into it quite extensively when they each begin to drive. That’s when we feel like cell phones for our boys would become more of a need, rather than just a want. And then of course there is the issue of who pays the monthly fees… Ah, we’ll figure that out later.
So what works for your family? Have you decided to let your kids have a cell phone? At what age do you feel like your kids need a phone?
We have three boys — one 12 and 10 year old twins. We told them when it becomes incovenient for US for them not to have one, they will get one. Haven’t reached that stage yet. Even then, when they come home, they will go off. It’s our job as parents to know who our kids are talking to and, to a certain extent, what they are talking about, just like our parents did.
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Our oldest is nine, so we’re not quite to that point yet. However, we are in the process of planning for these things. We do not have a land line at our home and do not plan to get one. So, when our children are old enough to be at home alone, we plan to get an additional line to serve as our home phone. At that point, we will allow the kids to use it, however it will be the “family phone.” When the kids want the privilege of having their own phones, we plan to let them research plans and pay for their own. They already have to work to earn money for any extra items they want. My husband owns an electrical business so they help him with small jobs and such whenever they can.
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My daughter started 5th grade this year, which in our school is Middle School. The school is just up the road from our house and most of the neighborhood kids walk. She really wanted to walk to school so we got her a cell phone (pay as you go type). She calls us when she gets to school in the morning and then again when she is ready to leave in the afternoon. That way if I don’t hear from her in the morning or see her in the afternoon after she’s called within 5 minutes I know something is wrong. She walks with at least one (sometimes 2) of the other neighborhood kids so at least she’s not walking by herself. It worked well this year. We can add money to her phone in terms of minutes, not dollars, so she is not able to text. If she wants to, she pays for it herself out of her allowance.
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We were very against the kids having a cell phone before they can drive. However, with our oldest leaving for a week for Challenge 2010 in Ohio, sporting events/practices taking her away for hours, and our wanting to be available to her if she needs us or have her available to us (e.g. asking her to stop by the store when walking home from a friend’s house, etc) we decided to get a extra “family” phone that any child who is going somewhere will be able to use – solely for us to be able to have immediate contact with whichever kid happens to be gone at that time:) Last weekend’s Swedish Festival was the clincher – trying to keep track of 5 children and my husband was very difficult – so Monday we got the cell phone lol!
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Our kids are 11, 10 and 8 and do not have cell phones and have not asked for one (I’m pretty sure they know what the answer would be!) So many kids are glued to their cell phones and that’s just sad – they’re missing out on so much of life. We were recently at the park and two girls from my son’s 5th grade class were there. They sat on the swings and texted the entire time we were there . All I could think was, what a way to waste a beautiful day! I have also read that cell phones are a big heath risk for kids, as the radiation affects them much more than it does adults.
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My boys are young adults now, and cell phones weren’t as common when they were young teens as they are now. But if they were, I would have let them both have one, only because of safety. I don’t approve of the way kids are on them all the time, and especially not when they drive.
But to me, yes I approve of them for safety’s sake. I would make the guidelines very clear, though. Especially that they are not to be used when driving a vehicle.
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We got our son (now 12 & an *th grader) one last summer when he was 11. Up till then he had allways been in aftercare during school and camp, and in the summer he started riding the local bus after camp to the library. In the beginning we had him call us from the public phone when he reached the library and then we got a him a cheap, limited phone via Kajeet (a company aimed at phones for kids – they have a lot of parental controls and low rates if all you need it for is emergencies). He has 10 min a month and hasn’t really exceeded it. It makes me feel more comfortable that he can reach us if needed, or we can reach him if we are running late to pick him up after school. He has gotten/sent a few texts to his friends, but up till now it hasn’t been an issue since we’ve made it clear that this phone is really “our” phone. If texting becomes an issue we’ll either block it, or have him budget his own money to pay for it.
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My kids are 6 and 4. I hope we don’t have this question come up for a long time. My nephew is now 20 and has had one off and on for a while. At one point he racked up $800 in texting. It was taken away and when he got it back racked up another whopping cell phone bill. Needless to say he did not learn his lesson and I don’t think my sister in law did either. We recently got rid of our cell phone. There have only been a couple of times when I felt I really needed it. I got lost today and could have used one and our cars are getting on the older side. If we were to get one, it would be a prepaid and that is the only way my kids would get one. Also, they would need to work for minutes, either at a job outside of the home or inside the home. Although I may eat my words when my kids get older.
I love reading all the comments.
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We got our older son a cell phone for safety when he was 12. He was taking an evening class at the University. I drove them there and another parent picked them up. For several hours, I would not really know where he was or if he was safe. The cell phone allowed me to know when class was over and when he was on the way home.
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I agree with you. If there’s sometime when you’ll be separated, that’s a good reason for them to have one, otherwise, it’s pretty un-necessary. My neice and nephew each have one, and it has become a bigger pain to their parents to keep track of them than to have them have one. Both I and my husband have cell phones, but we have no housephone. In cases where we have someone babysitting while we go on a date, we leave a phone behind. Don’t know, there’s from my point of veiw. Good luck holding out on him!!!
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We have chosen not to get our children cell phones until they get their driving permits–age 16. THe other kids in our neighborhood think that my children are being deprived, but the kids agree that they do not need one either.
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My oldest (also 13 and of my 4 boys) “sort of” has a cell phone. He and his 11 yo brother share one and they only get it when they’re going to be gone w/out us…like getting dropped off for practice or coming back late from a track meet. They aren’t allowed to receive calls from anyone not programmed in their phone and no texting. It’s not always needed so they don’t always have it. It’s been nice to know they have it when they’re out and about.
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Persoanally, I think it depends on each family and their needs. It would defintely depend on the child’s maturity, what it is need for and so forth. It is a responsiblity , not a toy. Most kids sit and play on it when nothing to do. We did not get our son a cell phone until he started working at 17. We had problems with him getting my cell phone at one time to secretly play games and download over 200.00 dollars worth of them and other stuff! at one time, so, he had to show us we could trust him in a major big way.
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We got our oldest daughter a cell phone in middle school, when she began taking road trips for sports. It was for our peace of mind. It’s also been handy when I have two children to pick up at the same time, or plans change. Since she’s the oldest, I call her to let her know that we’ll be late or how the plans have changed. The “treat” part for her is the texting–which we justified because she does A LOT for us (watching her 4 younger siblings, helping around the house, etc) without complaints, compensation or allowance. We’ve been “grandfathered” into a plan that is ony $25 for 50 min. of voice and unlimited texting. She’d like a newer phone with more features, but when I explain how much more it would cost per month, she’s happy to have what she does.
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We don’t have a house phone. Both Neal and I have a cell. We have talked a lot about getting another cell phone to leave at home…or send out with our oldest (8) if she needed it. It would be nice for her to call if she walked home from school and I was at the store…or … for a quick run to get butter…or I could let her walk by herself the 2 blocks to the library. Or if she was at ONE sports practice…and I was at ANOTHER sports practice…she could call me and let me know it was over. It will be a while though before she has one that is HERS. Texting plans have gotten really really cheap too…so I’m not to worried about that. She loves to text her Papa on my phone now…but we have like…unlimited mobile to mobile texting anyway. They can be so nice for keeping in touch.
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I got my daughter a Net10 pehone which she mainly uses for texting. It’s not xpensive and as a prepaid phone, it’s easy to manage the cost.
I was googling net10 and found a crazy contest with them here: http://www.net10laughoff.com/
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It seems to me that kids (and adults) with cell phones are tuning out more of the world that is immediately around them in favor of the phone/texting. It is sad to watch a group of teens sitting together in a room texting people who are not in the room. What happened to socialization and interaction? Adults are guilty of this as well…which is why I have a cell phone that noone but my hubby has the number for and I rarely use (like less than 50 minutes a year). So, our children will not have cell phones until they can drive on their own. That is our family’s plan for the moment.
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Our daughter got a cell phone when she was 12 – when she started volunteering. I wanted her to be able to reach me, and it made ME more comfortable. :) It costs us $10 per month for her to have a cell phone. She has to pay $5.
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One thing you may want to consider is the danger of brain cancer from early (and prolonged use) of cell phones. We try to use all our phones (cell and cordless) on speakerphone and hold it several inches away from our bodies. I know that totally blows all the “privacy” fun of the cell phone but may save them from physical harm. My eldest is almost 6 so as far as the politics of a 13 yr old and how he “feels” about it…. well – I’m no help at all LOL
Carra
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Danielle Reply:
June 27th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Cell phones have been around for 20+ years, and they have ruled out that cell phones cause brain cancer.
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Jenn Reply:
June 27th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
I actually just read a very interesting article/study on this topic. Here’s just a litte bit…
“While certain media outlets continue to claim that regular cell phone use is unlikely to cause brain cancer, you should know that Interphone found “heavy users” of cell phones were found to have an approximately doubled risk of glioma, a life threatening and often-fatal brain tumor, after 10 years of cell phone use.”
“The induction period for brain tumors can be at least 30 years. Cell phones have only been widely used for a decade or so, and usage is only increasing. What this means is that the real effects of regular cell phone usage will not begin to show up for another 10 or more years, but by then it will be too late.”
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Cecilia Capehart Reply:
July 1st, 2010 at 11:25 am
Furthermore, while studies in the U.S. (perhaps industry funded studies) may not show a definite link between cell phone use and brain cancer, studies in other countries have shown such a link. In some countries it is illegal for children to use cell phones. Also, who wants their child gued to a phone or texting all the time? Texting shuts out those around you and encourages bad grammar and spelling. I will NEVER let my children have cell phones; I care too much about their brain health and their social skills. A convenience is not a necessity and if fewer parents gave in to pressure to buy cell phones for kids, there wouldn’t be such a ‘need’ for them.
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I don’t see the “need” for a cell phone and see it only as a “convenience.” Our 5 children aged 13 and under certainly won’t be using one before my husband or I. Like many purchases, once you start using one, I imagine it’s hard to give up. I am increasingly concerned for the number of people who run the stop sign near our house every day while talking on their cell phones. Plus, BOTH of my nephews flipped their cars because they were messing around with their cell phones. Crazy but true! I know they knew better but couldn’t resist the temptation. Call me old fashioned, but I also feel troubled when I am spending time with someone, and they stop the conversation to answer their cell phone.
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Not a chance! My kids are 11, 8 and 5. Most of the kids in my son’s 5th grade class have cell phones. If he goes with a friend, I can pretty much guarantee that they have a cell phone, so I have all of their numbers in MY cell phone. I strongly believe we need to watch our kids better, know where they are, with whom and what to do if they need help. If I know that, there is no need for a cell phone…..yet. When they drive or are off on their own, different story, we will reevaluate. But like you said, who would they call????? Just use my phone in the meantime.
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My oldest is an 11yo girl going into 6th grade in the fall at which point she will be 12. We live in a small rural town and she doesn’t see the need for a phone of any kind. Once in a while she’ll call one friend, and the family house phone is fine for that.
She did however have a huge crush on my iPhone when I got it. About a year after I got it she used accumulated allowance money to buy herself an iPod Touch, which does everything my iPhone does except the camera and phone. She couldn’t be more happy and I don’t have monthly fees, minutes, and data charges to worry about. She knows better than to download anything from the app store that isn’t free and after 6 months the only issue we’ve had with it was her baby brother dropping it and cracking the screen. She still uses it with no problems.
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When my oldest was in 8th grade, he informed us that there were more kids in his church Bible class WITH ADHD than there were kids WITHOUT cell phones. He was right. He didn’t get one that year, but the next year he started high school at a 2500 student urban magnet school. He got out at 2:30 and his brother didn’t get out till 3:30 (I think I’ve written about my crazy driving year before on your blog comments). As the year went on, and he began to find things to do for that hour, it became a great convenience for both him and me for him to have a phone. At first, he relied on friends’ phones, but if he called me from the bookstore on a friend’s phone, and then I called that number back when I arrived to pick him up, the friend had usually left and so I would have to go in and hunt him down. Of course cell phones aren’t allowed in school, but nearly everyone had one, how else were they supposed to run their drug deals? The school had an official “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Once we got to know the school, we were very glad for him to have one for safety’s sake. Theft was a constant problem though, and every time he got a new one (whenever the contract renewed, we never went out looking to buy him a new one), it would be stolen w/in a week or two. My husband took up a collection of used phones from clients, co-workers, etc, and he would get to choose from them whenever one got stolen.
Our second son got one in about 7th grade. He didn’t need it at that point, but my husband got suckered – it was “free” w/ our contract renewal. My husband is a CPA, so we are always very good cell-phone customers. Our son did play golf, so it was of some use to us in picking him up from golf courses. He had the same problems with the phones being stolen at school. He started homeschooling in 9th grade (after a brief scary trial at the high school), and one of the best things about it, in his opinion, was that he got a new phone not long after and it was never stolen! I found that I did have to take it away from him during school hours, to keep him from spending the day texting all his friends still sitting in class, not just at the public school, but at all the expensive private schools too. I asked him what his friends were doing, were they at lunch, were they home sick, etc, and he said that they were in class! He said, “Mom, it’s what we do all day – I can text w/ my phone in my pocket.” I said, “Does it have braille? How can you read it?” He admitted that he did have to peek to read it, but he didn’t have to take it out of his pocket. He demonstrated this for me. That was one of my biggest suprises re homeschooling – it’s no wonder American kids don’t know anything, they spend all their class time texting each other!
In re to the comment about brain cancer, I wouldn’t worry about that – kids seldom actually talk on their phones, it’s mostly just texting. I do worry about my husband though, as he is actually talking, pretty much all day long.
My 10 yr old thinks she needs one too, since her brothers have them – HA! As a homeschool student, she won’t get one until she has significant outside activities or is driving.
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I forgot to add that in TN, we have “Carly’s Law” that says that if an under-18 driver is caught talking on a cell phone, even on speaker, they automatically loose their license until they are 18. Our oldest is 19 now, but our 16 year old just got his license a week ago and I remind him of this every day. Along with a whole bunch of other stuff! It’s a scary time (for me, anyway).
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We will go the route of “family phone” also – one phone, to be taken when we think it’s important the boys have it (ie: driving in the car, long trips). However, many of my friends are facing the fact that their kids manage to buy their own phone. I suppose at a certain point you have to let them do that, but you can bet it won’t be me paying for those bills! And if they do rack up $800 in texting that they can’t pay for, it will be a good lesson in money management for them!
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I posted earlier that my 17 y.o. does have a cell phone and we pay the $10 a month for it, but I should add, he is really a great kid that does not give me any grief at all, he loves the Lord, has a VERY large savings account, works over 40 hours a week, etc. If he were not responsible or I had any concerns about him misusing a phone while driving, etc., I would not be paying for it. We got it initially because he went to Dairy Camp for 4-H and I did not know the people that he was staying with in a hotel. If we could not trust him, he would not have a phone at our expense. He went to Brazil on a mission trip just last month and the leader did not have a cell phone, so it came in handy that he did. I am thankful to have a teen ager that I don’t have to worry about.
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We gave our 12 year old a cell phone last year as he gets home about an hour before any adults come home. He has it for safety reasons as we do not have home phone service but yes he talks to his friends as well.
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I’ve always been pretty convinced my kids (4 of them – grade 8 down to kindergarten), didn’t need cell phones, but I’m starting to rethink things a little bit because if a conversation with a cousin. She mentioned that they found their highschool aged son was missing out on the social things going on because no one thinks to phone anymore, they just text everyone, which means no cell phone, no invite. And these are the “good kids”, the ones you want your kids hanging out with, not like its to arrange the drinking parties or anything like that!
It’s something I definitely think I’ll need to be aware of as my kids get older. It will be on their dime when that day comes though!
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I also have 13 yr old son who thinks he’s the only 13 yr old without a phone! Maybe we should get them together! ;)
Anyway, we homeschool our children and really felt that there was no need for them to have one since they are with us the majority of the time. Our standard has always been that once they drive, they can have a phone. So our daughter (who is now 17) has had a phone for one year (about 6 weeks after turning 16 and 6 weeks before the license). The only reason it was BEFORE the license is that we also had a trip planned and it was the end of our contract. The purpose of the phone is for her to text us whenever she leaves or arrives somewhere. Hope this helps! Maybe your son can call mine on their landlines and be the only 13 yrold boys without cell phones TOGETHER! ;)
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I think texting can get WAAAAAYYYYY out of control. When kids start texting in the early teen years, it becomes such a habit. We’ve experienced college kids (who stay with us during the summer) texting almost nonstop–at the dinner table while we’re eating, during recreational activities, etc…
I’ve been places where the teenage employees are texting on the job.
So I think that’s just kind of over the top.
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Our oldest is 14 and received his on his birthday last Dec. He uses it mainly as a socializing tool. Texts A LOT. He’s in public schools and with the activities he’s in it is coming in handy. It’s also very nice for when he is roaming our small country town (or when we go to the mall), then I can find him easily.
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Our kids are NOT homeschooled, but are also pretty young yet to even consider getting them a phone. when the time comes, they will each get a pre-paid phone. Hubs and I have I-phones, but the kids won’t need anything that fancy lol. This way we won’t have to be concerned about an out of control texting bill.
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I’m not really sure at what age we will allow our kids to have cell phones(they are 7 and 4 now), but I can tell you that they will NOT have texting capability on them. I got my texting cut off of my phone. I absolutely cannot tolerate texting. It’s a useless waste of time and a bad habit in my opinion. The US govt has recently come out with a statement saying the affects of cell phone use if far greater than they once thought. I try hard not to use mine but I keep it around when I’m out in case of an emergancy. We are having the wireless internet taken out of our house as well because I don’t like when I read about what that technology can do to your body.
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Our children are 17 and 11. We have a family plan on our phones, so when our eldest started driving we added him for “only $10 a month”. But then we had to add unlimited texting because they DON’T talk on the phone :) Our youngest will probably get a cell phone earlier, because our house phone doesn’t have long distance and our cell phones are an easy way to contact the many people who live 5 miles away but are a long distance phone call.
For now, we let him email a text to mom or dad’s cellphone if he is home alone and needs to talk to us (then we call him)and if we are together, we sometimes give him one of our phones so we can find him(like when we’re at the mall and he wants to go to a store by himself). There are very seldom times when all of us are going separate directions, so we don’t see the need for him to have his own phone yet.
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Danielle Reply:
June 28th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Oh my! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE don’t allow your 11 y/o alone in a store. Too many pedophiles hang out in the mall. Phones can be snatched and throw in the trash on the way OUT of the mall.
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Kathy Reply:
June 29th, 2010 at 5:12 am
Oh, that didn’t sound good, did it? I have to confess that I usually
hover nervously outside the store, where I can see him when he comes
out. Don’t tell him, though! It’s the small record stores and
collectible stores where he loves to go into and act like a teenager
:) Too many memories of Adam Walsh for me, though…
Thanks for the reminder and for your concern!
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My personal opinion on the cellphone issue is no cellphone until you are at least in high school but preferably when you can drive and it would just be a basic phone with no texting. Texting is distracting in schools and driving (which is deadly), it’s not something that needs to be encouraged.
Thankfully we have at least 14 years before this will be an issue (we’re expecting) and by then who knows what they will have out.
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My son (now 11) has had one since he was 7 years old. His biological father lives in another state and so my son has flown, unaccompanied, to visit him several times. When he was 7, American Airlines changed gates once they landed with no announcement or anything… and I was at gate B38 waiting on him and he was at gate B2 crying, wondering where I was thinking we forgot to pick him up… the flight attendant just dumped him off at the counter… two women on teh plane couldn’t bare to leave him standing there crying and waited… about 15 to 20 minutes while I was RUNNING in a DEAD SPRINT from one end of the airport to the other. He was scarred for life. I was a loser (in his eyes) at that moment… and it’s impossible to explain someone else’s incompetence to him at that age. I got him a phone the next day to use so that woudl never happen again.
He now uses it to talk to his dad… me… family members and he and his best friend text each other. Unless he’s going somewhere and I want him to take it, it’s at home.
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My kids are little so I don’t really have an opinion. However, when my brother’s son complained with the…..”I’m the only kid who doesn’t have one” comment, my brother said, “then borrow one of theirs!”
I just thought it was a pretty good come back :)
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When they were old enough to buy a car, have a job, and pay for it themselves. Not sure why society seems to think cell phones are a necessity. In our home they are a luxury you need to earn.
3rd son didn’t get his until he was 18…he pretty much thought we were the lamest parents ever! Kim
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This is a difficult issue in our home. We don’t get them a cell phone until they go to college. We have two in college with and two in high school without. I am informed weekly by the high schooling duo that EVERYONE has a cell phone. We deal with the sport and away from home issue by sending my husband’s cell with them to use. We also let them borrow one of the parent’s cells a few times a week in the evening to text their friends and briefly be “cool”.
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I married my husband when his kids were 10 and 13; he loves technology and thought each child should have a cell phone.
About a couple months later, 10-yo daughter told us that she lost her cell phone….I asked her when she had it last and she said a while ago. I went online to view my cell bill and saw that it was $1800 (it seems that whomever found the phone enjoyed calling everyone in the world)
Didn’t want to tell my husband “i told you so” after that nightmare, she was phoneless for about a year….we then gave her a pre-paid phone to use and if she was very careful, we would think about getting her a “real” cell phone.
On her 13th birthday we gave her a new cell phone. This helped us a lot as when we are in the mall, she can shop on her own and then call me when it’s time to pay.
Now the kids are 16 and 20 and have taken good care of their phones (one phone was dropped in a toilet, but was covered under insurance)
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I think that kids having cell phones is more of a safety tool than anything else. I bought my middle school-aged son a pay as you go cell phone. I allow him to spend $15 worth of minutes a month (with Net10, it’s 10 cents a minute) and if he wants to text, it comes out of his allowance (5 cents/minute). It has worked wonders in helping teach him about repsonsibility and has given me peace of mind knowing he can contact me should anything happen.
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My son has had one since he was 12. He doesn’t need one but we try to say yes to the things we can since there are so many no’s out there. He doesn’t use it much at all but it is nice that I can ALWAYS get ahold of him. He is older now and it is great being able to send him off knowing that I can call him. I will give my other children one if they want one when there are getting to that preteen, teen stage but that is just me. I keep an open mind during that teenage stage because it is a tuff one. I don’t think it is a huge deal and being that we say no so much it was nice being able to say yes. Hope that made sense.
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Parents of older children, PLEASE for their sakes do not think that their having a phone automatically means you can get a hold of them. Granted, probably 99% of that has to do with parenting/trust/character issues….but I have sadly watched my younger siblings get into a LOT of trouble because my folks think they can “get ahold” of them since they have their phones. I realize that in these cases, the phones are just one symptom of many bigger problems but the fact remains that it only takes ONE time of getting away with dishonest phone use, or non use, to make your child feel he’s getting away with it.
I love the idea of the “family” phone line. Thank goodness, my son is too young to want a phone for anything except buttons to push….but come to think of it, lots of older kids want phones for the same reason:)
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Wow! I just discovered this website and I am going on and on reading old posts. Took my time to read all the comments because this cellphone issue is a big one. All you parents who commented here rock!! Here in Zimbabwe the kids want cell phones too. My ten year old daughter also said she is the only one who does not have one. Their headmistress discourages parents buying phones for their kids. I will buy her one when the need arises. We are having problems already with my kids wanting to play games most of the time. There are 6 phones in the house, 2 belong to my young sister, 1 to my MIL’s nephew, 1 for hubby, 2 are mine. Well, I bought a new one with better features and kept the other one to remain home in case we need to call home when away. It’s not being used now since the maid has her own. That makes them 7, right? I can call on maid’s phone if I need to talk to anyone.
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