Continuing on with The Week of Repeats…this post was originally published April 8, 2008.  Yes, I still pause my kids’ noses. 
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With four kids…all of them old enough to talk…and all of them with VERY important things to say…things that MUST be said RIGHT now…

Sometimes I can feel overwhelmed with everyone talking at once and never really feeling like I can hear any of them.

It sorta sounds something like:

“MOM!  We-I-Can-But-are-need-you-I-going-to-get-need-to-go-me-to-have-potty-a-pillow-fight-drink-talk-to-you!”

Okay, um…what?!

And of course, trying to have a conversation with my husband…one that I can actually finish…kinda looks something like thi……

(I may never really know how his work day really went…)

So while we’re working with the kids (constantly) to not interrupt…and to recognize that when others are speaking, they need to wait their turn…

And helping them to understand that their need to tell me about what happened to LarryBoy on the most recently watched Veggie Tale show is maybe not as urgent as they might think that it is…

I one day came up with a little tool that worked for me.

As two of my boys walked into the room and both started talking at once…I just reached out my pointer finger at one of them, pushed gently on his nose and said, “Pause.”  (as if I was pushing his pause button…)

And he did…pause.

The first boy finished what he was saying.

And then I turned back to the other one and pushed his nose again, and said, “Unpause.”  He grinned…and finished what he had started to say earlier.

From then on, I have been pushing their little pause button noses left and right.  (so to speak…) 

It’s a lot easier than saying, “Please wait until your brother is finished talking, and then you can have your turn to speak…” 

Oh, and the kids love it!

Now I am so used to pausing noses…that one day while talking to my friend in the church foyer…one of my kids came up and really needed to say something important…so I reached up without thinking and pushed my friend’s nose and said, “Pause.” 

She started laughing…and said, “Um, did you just pause my nose?”

Oops.  I realized that indeed…I had just pushed on my friend’s nose and told her to pause.  I hate it when I get the wrong nose.

(Thankfully she loved the idea and started using it with her own kids.  I’m pretty sure she has since then paused my nose on occasion…)

While I am now more careful about who’s noses I’m pausing in church foyers…this plan works VERY well for my kids…and I highly recommend it!
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Works for me Wednesday is now being hosted at We Are THAT Family.

At our house we allow our kids to have one sweet treat per day (usually a healthier version).  That’s been our system for a while and it works pretty well so that our kids don’t feel “dessert deprived” in a world fullllllll of sugar and candy.

But…sweets at our house are only given to little boys who are sweet.  We feel like eating a dessert is a privilege, therefore it’s the first privilege we take away when any of our boys have ugly attitudes or don’t treat one another with kindness.

Occasionally we give them a warning when we see a bad attitude coming on.  “Change your attitude to be sweet…or you won’t get a sweet for the day.”  Oooh, no one wants to miss out on their dessert.  A happy face usually shows up almost immediately.  But one warning is all they get.  If the ugliness returns…they lose their dessert privilege.   And sometimes they don’t get a warning at all.  Because, obviously they’ve already been warned that it’s not okay to torture a brother.  ;) 

So…that’s one way we discipline our boys that works well for us.  I love it because it’s a “punishment that fits the crime”:  If you aren’t sweet, you don’t get sweets.

What have you found that works well for you in regard to “punishment that fits the crime”?  What are some privileges you take away from your kids that have been effective?
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Find more helpful tips at Rocks in my Dryer.

I mentioned here that our third son turned seven on Sunday.  Turning seven at our house is pretty exciting.  Not only do you usually have two front teeth missing, it’s the year you start receiving an allowance.

I know that not everyone agrees that giving your kids an allowance is a good idea.  But let me explain our reasons, and how we handle allowance at our house.  Then later, in the comments, I would love for you to share how you handle it (or plan to handle it) with your kids.

Matt and I want to teach our kids how to handle money, how to budget, and how to give.  Before the age of about 10, our kids don’t have very many ways to earn money.

On the first day of each month we give our seven and eight year old boys $4 each.  Yeah, that’s it.  Four bucks a month. I know parents who give five times that per WEEK.  Again, this is just something we’re giving them to help them learn a little bit about money.

We decided to give them their allowance monthly because in the “real world” they are likely to only be paid monthly.  They need to learn how to manage that.

With their four dollars per month, the boys mostly learn to give and save.  They get to figure out (with our help of course) how much goes in the collection plate each Sunday.  They get to help buy birthday presents for each other and for their friends.  I love watching them pull their money out of their pockets on Sunday morning as the collection plate comes around, or watching them carry their wallet into Wal-mart so they can pick out a hot wheel car for their buddy.  They feel ownership – it is their money.

We discourage them to spend their money very often on little toys for themselves when we go to the store. It has surprised us to see that for the most part, the boys hardly ever ask to spend any of their money on a toy or trinket.  Occasionally at a garage sale they’ll see something they want.  Or sometimes they’ll save up to get something (often pooling their money together to get something they all want).  But in general, the money in their wallet just grows.

Now that Asa, our oldest son, is 11, we’ve stopped giving him an allowance.  He has had various ways of earning money in the past year or so…and the four dollars a month just isn’t necessary.  He has done a great job putting money into a savings account we helped him open last summer.  He gives generously each Sunday, and any other time he hears of a mission need or special collection at church.  He’s learning to give and save, and we feel like his little four dollar allowance when he was smaller helped him get on the right track.  :)

So, now that we are on our third seven year old, we’re finding that this $4/month system really works for us as we’re training our boys.

What works for you?  Do you give your kids an allowance?  How do you teach your kids at an early age to manage money (or how were you taught)?