Archive for Encouragement
Stop Complaining
Posted by: | CommentsMonday, I was talking on the phone with a friend while simultaneously trying to fit my week’s supply of milk into a very full refrigerator. With one hand holding the phone and the other hand working to rearrange the leftovers and eggs and dressings so that all of the milk jars would fit, I let out an exasperated, “Ugh! Why is my fridge always so FULL!?” My friend, in her loving and wise way said, “Well, when you consider the alternative…”
Huh. No kidding. Was I really just whining about having a refrigerator full of food? Shame on me.
Why is it so much easier to complain than to have a grateful heart? Why do we tend to complain and whine about things which are actually blessings?
We complain when the weather is so hot that we feel like we’ll melt and all we can do is long for cooler days – but come winter we’ll be complaining of the cold. If it’s raining, we’ll really want it to stop, but if it’s not raining, we’ll complain that everything is too dry. When the wind blows too hard, we complain that our hair is going to be messed up, but if there’s no breeze at all, we’ll complain about how still it is.
When we stand at our closet, trying to decide what to put on, we complain that we have nothing to wear – then later we’ll stand beside our piles of laundry thinking “woe is me” thoughts about all the clothes that need to be washed.
We complain about all the stuff all over our house that is causing clutter and making a mess – then we complain that we don’t have enough money to buy more stuff.
We complain when the roads are bumpy or full of pot holes, when the snow hasn’t been cleared well and when the streets need to be repaved – but talk to us about the taxes we need to pay in order for this to happen or the detours we’ll have to take so that the work can be done – and we’ll complain again even louder.
We complain that we never have time to ourselves and wish we could just get a moment’s peace without somebody asking us to do something or calling us on the phone – but when the phone is silent and we’re home alone, we wonder why we feel lonely.
We complain about all kinds of things we have no control over and seem to think that maybe complaining might help us feel better, but instead, it just makes us grumpy. We complain about all kinds of things we DO have control over, but really just wish we didn’t have to put forth the effort to make the changes happen.
I’m glad Jesus wasn’t a complainer – can you imagine? “I wish all these needy people would just leave me alone for a change and stop asking for miracles – they’re wearing me out. And this fish – can’t we find something to eat besides fish for a change? And for goodness sake, could someone please get me something other than a rock for a pillow?”
Complaining is an easy habit to get into and a hard one to break. Ha! Something else to complain about. ;)
Or, how about we all work together on being grateful and make a conscious effort to stop complaining?
Think of the peace we could all have if we just decide to stop complaining.
We are blessed! Be grateful!
But That Doesn’t Work for Me
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Here’s part of one reader’s comment after reading one of my menu plans:
I don’t menu plan, because it seems to actually impair my ability to cook. :) Whenever I have done it over the course of our 10 years of marriage I have actually cooked less and become a big disgruntled, grumpy wife. I get discouraged that this is something that helps so many, so I wonder what is wrong with me. but–then my hubby just comes in and says, ‘just don’t make a list’. Brilliant man, that husband of mine!
You know I can’t live without my menu plan. (Well, I can live…we just don’t eat very well without my menu plan.) And the above commenter doesn’t feed her family as well with a menu plan. I’m so glad she was honest in her comment.
Guess what? Not everything that works for one person will work for everyone else. And WE DON’T NEED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.
God made us all different. On purpose. He is very wise like that.
I LOVE this blogging world we are all a part of and I think it’s such a wonderful way to help each other and encourage each other and share the things we know with each other. But you all are a lot better than I am at all kinds of things. If I let myself, I could become discouraged about all the things I read about that you’re doing that I’m not doing.
For instance:
- I haven’t made scrapbooks for my kids. I’ve barely written in their baby books.
- Spelling is not my strong soot. Suite. Suit. Whatever. Spelling duzn’t come naturally to me. I use spell check a lot and even then I stil mes up.
- I am very directionally challenged. I will never know where “west” is, so don’t ask me to point to it.
- I can’t get my bathrooms to smell good for longer than five minutes. (It’s a boy thing.)
- I am terrible about hanging my clothes up at the end of the day.
- I haven’t pulled out my sewing machine to make anything (or repair anything) for months. Who am I kidding? Years.
- There are crumbs surrounding my computer.
- I hate reading directions and fine print.
- I seem to have some sort of phobia about learning a foreign language and have never made it past Pig Latin.
- Driving a stick shift vehicle makes me break out in hives. Simply typing the words “stick shift vehicle” makes me break out in hives. And I also hate driving in big cities. In any vehicle.
I could keep going with that list, but you need to get on with your day.
My point is this: If menu planning…or anything else someone encourages you to do doesn’t work for you…that’s okay. :)
I think it’s great to learn from each other. But if you finish reading a blog post or visiting with someone and are left thinking, “Oh dear…I am so much less of a woman because I failed to alphabetize and color code the dry beans in my pantry…but when am I supposed to find time for that because I really need to sit down with my two year old and teach him to fluently write and speak German by 2:00 this afternoon…” then maybe you should give yourself a little break.
Ask yourself the following questions that apply to you…
- Am I being lazy or am I being a hard worker?
- Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?
- Am I doing what my husband wants me to be doing?
- Am I taking care of my children the way I should be taking care of them?
Use your God given gifts and let other people use theirs. Take care of your family the way you feel God is calling you to take care of your family. Read and learn and be challenged by what people write and share…but only do what works for you and what you feel God wants for you. God calls you to be you…and that’s it!
Care to share? I’d love to hear something you’re really good at…and something you’d rather leave to someone else!! Like maybe I could come plan your menu for you and you could drive me around in big cities?
Five Simple Ways to Live a Natural Lifestyle
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What does it look like to live a “Natural Lifestyle”?
There are all kinds of different definitions for the word “natural”. Many foods are labeled “natural” in an attempt to appeal to the conscientious consumer. Corn growers pay for advertisements that say that High Fructose Corn Syrup is “natural”. Well, sure it is…in a loose sense of the word I suppose, but that doesn’t make it good for us. Shucks…arsenic is natural.
My own definition of living a ”Natural Lifestyle” I suppose would be “getting back to the basics”. Whether we’re talking about food, family choices, in general taking care of ourselves…doesn’t it just sound refreshing to “get back to the basics”?
Here are five simple ways I’d like to suggest to live a more Natural Lifestyle:
1. Eat Real Food
Yes, you’re so surprised I listed this one aren’t you? Real food is best. Food in it’s natural form. Food that isn’t processed. Food that tastes so stinkin’ good you don’t know what to do with yourself!!! It’s amazing what food without chemicals tastes like!
Need a little help getting started? Here are some links to past series I’ve written about how I feed my family and about why I feel real food is best:
- How I Feed My Family
- Getting Real With Food
- Our Healthy Eating Journey
- Simple Steps Toward Healthy Eating (I’m still working on this series…stay tuned!)
2. Drink Water
I already wrote about how you should drink more water and told you about some healthy alternatives to soda and other not-so-good-for-you beverages. But really…one of the simplest (and cheapest!) ways for you to adopt a more natural lifestyle is to stop filling your body with icky beverages and just drink water.
3. Exercise
Yeah, and this advice is coming from me…the girl who doesn’t really like to exercise. Guess what though?! My husband and I have made it a point to exercise together three days a week for the past few weeks and I’m actually starting to like it! I’ve heard people say that once you start exercising regularly, you begin to crave it. I never believed them. Until now.
It’s really not as hard as you think, but exercising is just like anything else you need to be doing…YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO IT. I know, profound. The main idea is this: Do what you can to not be sedentary.
A side benefit of exercising: You’ll crave more water and more real foods. Yeah, somehow having a candy bar and soda after exercising feels a little silly. Water and fruit sounds much better.
4. Stay Home More
This may seem like a weird item for our Natural Lifestyle list…but it doesn’t get much simpler or more natural than this. Stay home more. You’ll save money, your vehicles will last longer…and joy of joys…you may not be so worn out all the time! I find that when I’m running from here to there and back again…I am completely exhausted AND behind on all the work I need to do at home. We don’t need THAT much outside “stuff”. When you’re home more…you’ll find you’ll be more rested and more relaxed…naturally.
5. Waste Less
The more natural your lifestyle, the less waste you’ll have. If you make your food from scratch, you’ll have a lot less packaging trash. If you serve smaller portions and make it a point to eat leftovers, you’ll throw away less food. If you don’t buy stuff you don’t need, you’ll waste a LOT less money. If you use cloth napkins and let your kids draw on used scratch paper, you’ll save a lot of trees. None of these things are hard. You just have to be a bit more intentional.
And then of course there are all kinds of other things I’d recommend as you work your way to a more Natural Lifestyle, like planting a garden, buying locally grown produce and other foods, getting good sleep and eating lots of chocolate.
Just kidding. Chocolate may be natural, but eating lots of it would be “The Simplest way to Gain Five Pounds”. That‘s another post for another day.
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Be sure to take the time to read these “Five Simple Ways” posts too! A big thanks to Toni at Happy Housewife for organizing this series!
Jen from Balancing Beauty and Bedlam: 5 Simple Ways to Dress Fabulously for Less
Melissa from A Familiar Path: 5 Simple Ways to Take Better Photos
2020 Vision
Posted by: | CommentsWhat will you be doing 10 years from now?
That was the question Matt and I posed to a group of young married couples who had been meeting in our home for a few weeks before Christmas. By the end of the year 2020, what do you want to be doing? Where do you want to be? What are your long range goals?
You know what happens don’t you, when you ask a thought provoking question of someone else? You have to answer it yourself. But before I could reflect on my life and set some long range goals for the next ten years, I first had to choke a little bit and work to steady my breathing. In the year 2020 our baby will be getting his drivers license. We’re likely to have three kids with college bills. Our oldest son will be 23. Good grief, he could be married by then and (gasp) I could be a grandmother!
In ten years.
It’s kind of exciting to think about. And maybe just a little bit scary. And don’t even talk to me about car insurance costs for four teenage/early twenties male drivers.
(breathe…breathe…)
Of course none of us knows exactly what God has in mind for each of us in the future. We can only dream and pray and try to listen to God’s calling the best that we can.
But here’s the deal: If we don’t dream; If we don’t seek God’s plan for our lives; If we don’t search within ourselves and find the gifts God has given us so that we can put them to good use; If we don’t humbly seek God’s direction for our future and intentionally plan to carry out His vision for our families…we’ll just all float along not accomplishing much for God’s kingdom.
Then we’ll look back on our lives ten years from now and wonder why we never got much done. We’ll wonder what happened to the last decade. We’ll wonder why life happened around us and we’re still doing the same ol’ thing we’ve always been doing without really getting anywhere.
There’s something very empowering about looking ahead and picturing yourself doing and being exactly what you aspire to do and to be. I don’t care if you’re in your twenties or eighties…we can all continue to improve our walk with God and set goals for ourselves so that we can do His will on earth as it is being done in Heaven.
That’s what we’re here to do right?
So here’s what I recommend that you do. Take some time to reflect on who God wants you to be and how He can get you to that point during the next ten years. For yourself, for your family, for your church. Write it down. Dream big. But be realistic.
Pray.
Then, break the goals down a little bit. If you want to be at X in 10 years, you’ll need to do a…b… c… in order to get there. Break down each of those objectives into workable time frames between now and 2020. Then, break those steps down into months and weeks and well…start working tomorrow to make something happen.
2020 Vision. What do you see in your future?
It Happens in a Blink
Posted by: | CommentsSome of you have asked me to share more about what led us to our decision for Matt to resign from his job to work at home with our family. You’d like to know more about what we’re planning to do and what our “new life” will look like.
I can’t share much yet about what our new life will look like as it hasn’t actually started yet. Incidentally, it will start on Thursday the 16th at precisely 3:01 pm, at which time you WILL hear me shouting and banging on pots and pans in celebration.
We’re setting goals and making plans and praying. Once we settle into January, I’ll be able to share more with you about what we’re doing with our time and how the new plan is working with our family.
What I can share though is a little more about what led us to this decision. I mentioned previously that Matt didn’t want to have regrets about how he spent the time God’s given him on earth. Our boys are growing quickly…and they need the guidance of their daddy. Our marriage is strong and we’d like to keep it that way. We have ministry ideas that we’d like to explore. Matt’s current job situation hasn’t allowed us to do for our family what we feel called to do.
Ultimately, we had to ask ourselves the questions: What are we doing for the Kingdom? Is our life in balance with what God wants us to be doing for Him?
We did some evaluating and knew something needed to give. (Later I’ll share a formula we came up with to evaluate the balance of each important area of our lives.) We asked God to show us how to create a more balanced life, while still providing for our family.
The following song, Blink, by Revive pretty much sums up our thoughts. I’d really like you to listen and read the words as it plays because it’s quite convicting.
It happens in a blink…what are you doing with your life?
For the record, we are definitely not advocating that everyone should turn in their two weeks notice tomorrow. That family you love so much does need to eat and have shoes. :) We are just sharing what we’ve felt called to do for our family. We had a financial plan in place before making this leap and have spent many months praying about this decision. We simply want to encourage each person to examine how they spend their time and feel like we should all ask ourselves: Am I making the most of every moment God’s given me?
Does This Super Woman Cape Make Me Look Fat?
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I am very honored to be featured in the November 2010 edition of Parent Life Magazine. Plus, they asked me to guest post over on their site. If you’d like to take a peek at what I wrote, please click on over to read Does This Super Woman Cape Make Me Look Fat?.
Living Above Worry and Stress Study Guide (FREE Kindle Edition!)
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After doing a little research on resources to encourage women in the day to day stuff we tend to deal with…I came across this great looking study guide from Women of Faith. Living Above Worry and Stress (Women of Faith Study Guide Series) looks to be a wonderful workbook to go through. It can be used individually or in groups.
I don’t know about you, but when it comes to worry and stress…I would much rather live ABOVE it than having it living above me (sitting on me and squishing me)!
Living Above Worry and Stress (Women of Faith Study Guide Series) - kindle edition - FREE!
Living Above Worry and Stress (Women of Faith Study Guide Series) - actual book – starting at $1.97
Have any of you worked through this study guide before? If so, please share your thoughts about it and let us know whether or not you recommend this resource!
Those of you with Kindles, I’d love to hear from you too. Do you like your Kindle? Have you found other great books for free to use on your Kindle? Is it worth the cost?
Don’t Buy Stuff
Posted by: | CommentsI originally posted this in May, 2009. It’s short. It’s sweet. And it sums up what’s been on my mind lately. That’s why I’m posting it again for you today. :)
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That’s it. My title is my post. Don’t buy stuff…that’s all I have to say.
When asked what my favorite frugal tip is…Don’t Buy Stuff is the best thing I can come up with.
When you buy stuff, you have to pay for it with money. And then you have to find a place to put it once you bring it home. And it won’t stay where you put it because someone will get it out and not put it away. And then it will get lost. Or broken. Or forgotten.
Buy food. You need to eat.
Splurge on toilet paper. It’s very useful.
Invest in soap…using soap is good.
But don’t buy stuff.
You’ll save a lot of money.
And…if you didn’t really need it in the first place, you won’t even miss it. ;)
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This post is linked to Frugal Friday.
Reaching Out to Others…Where to Start
Posted by: | CommentsSeveral of you have mentioned to me that you love the idea of using Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve with your children…but the idea of reaching out and doing that many acts of service for people is a bit out of your comfort zone. Or, what if you’re new to the area and don’t really know a lot of people? You’ve asked for advice, so I’ve been brainstorming some ideas to make it (hopefully) a little easier for you and your family to cook “Soup for someone who is Sick” on Ss week, or take a new “Book to B________” on Bb week.
The following ideas are simply offered as a way to get you going. To help ease you out of your fears. To gently get you and your family used to visiting others and putting smiles on their faces!
- Utilize extended family members, even if it means you have to send something through the mail. Family (hopefully) will feel safe to you and will be an easy beginning to getting your family in the mode of making something to give to someone. Plus, I’m pretty sure if your child sends something homemade to a grandparent or aunt…the appreciation and feedback they’ll receive will be pretty huge. Family members LOVE your kids an awful lot. :)
- Pull out your church directory if you have one. Looking through the directory together may help give you new ideas of people you could serve.
- Do some of the acts of kindness anonymously. Don’t rely on this one too much, because you will receive such a wonderful blessing when you deliver something to someone and are able to see the smile on their face. But there is something to be said about the gift of surprising someone by leaving it on their porch for them to find when they come home. (I will caution you though that if someone left a homemade goody on my porch and didn’t tell me who it was from…I may not want to eat it. I’m just sayin’. You might want to reserve the anonymous act of service to be something more inedible.)
- Visit a local rest home to carry out some of your service. Sometimes it’s easier to visit with a complete stranger, knowing that your visit will make their day, than to visit with someone who is, say an acquaintance from church.
- Pick some of your children’s good friends. It’s awesome to reach out to people you don’t know as well…and to people in other generations…but WOW it’s fun to knock on your best buddy’s door to deliver a Jar of Jelly beans on Jj week!
- Make it a team effort. Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve is meant to be a project for the whole family anyway. Piling in the car all together and visiting your recipient all together is so much easier than going alone with just one child.
- Ah, who am I kidding? Your kids are so cute, the person you’re serving will ooh and ahhh over your child and the fact that he/she came to do something kind…and that in and of itself with be a huge buffer in your comfort level. Seriously, if you’re worried about what you’ll talk about when you’re visiting someone…just visit about your project and other things your kids are doing. People love that.
- On the other hand…be sure to ask the other person questions…especially if they are sick or have been going through any kind of struggle.
- Don’t feel like you have to stay and visit with someone for three hours. Have your child hand over the goodies (whatever they are that week!), explain your project and maybe tell why your family chose them and then if the timing seems right, you can then be on your way.
Just think of the blessing you are giving your child! By starting them on the journey of service now, as they get older…thinking of others and serving them will become a natural part of who they are.
And I promise (because I speak from experience!) the more you serve with your children…the easier it will be for you too! God does amazing things when he “stretches us” beyond our comfort level a little bit. You know what you alone are capable of, right? So when you do something for someone that pushes you past your comfort zone, you KNOW that you’re doing it only because of the awesome power of God. It’s an incredible feeling.
God is so good. You can do this!
Chatting With Lisa Whelchel about “Friendship for Grown-ups” + a Giveaway!!
Posted by: | CommentsThis post wraps up my interview time with Lisa. If you missed them, be sure to catch the rest of the interview posts:
- Chatting with Lisa about raising little ones
- Chatting with Lisa about raising teenagers
- Chatting with Lisa about marriage
Here is the final question I asked…
Me:
I’ve been reading your newest book, Friendship for Grown-ups. I’ve really enjoyed how you’ve opened up and shared your story and your struggles with being real and honest about your feelings and needs with your friends.
Why do you think women are so afraid to be real and open and vulnerable with other women about their struggles and sins?
Lisa:
We feel like we’re supposed to be perfect like Jesus. We act like everything is fine because we think it’s the right thing to do. We feel like we’re letting God down if we admit failure. But when we do this, we miss out on connection and grace. Are we trying to earn salvation through works, or are we accepting that we are sinners who need grace?
Laura’s follow-up thoughts…and also, let me tell you about Lisa’s new book…and also, maybe you could even win a copy! ;)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading Lisa Whelchel’s latest book, Friendship for Grown-ups! I anticipated that it would be a book to encourage moms to maintain great friendships as we raise our kids. Yeah, I was wrong. It really didn’t have anything to do with maintaining my friendships while I’m raising my kids. This book really is about what true and godly friendship is all about, no matter what season you are in your life.
Friendship for Grown-ups is about breaking down walls. It’s about being real. It’s about setting boundaries. It’s about being a friend and accepting friendship. It’s about being open and honest.
Oh my, is it ever about being honest. Being honest with yourself, and being honest with the people God puts in your life to love on you. Lisa shares some of her biggest struggles through her years as a child star and how that shaped who she became as an adult. Through the years, Lisa built some gignormous walls that were ever so hard to break down. But she…
Wait a second. I think I’m saying too much. I think I should stop and just really, really recommend that you read Friendship for Grown-ups.
As Lisa shares her story in her latest book, you’ll find that you get to know her on a much more personal level. While reading this book, I felt like Lisa became my friend, even as she taught me what godly friendship should be about. That happens when someone opens up and shares from the deep, painful places in her heart. That’s exactly what Lisa did. You will be blessed by reading her story and by hearing how God worked in her life and gently led her into whole and healthy friendships.
I just so happen to have five copies of Friendship for Grown-ups to share!! (Well, I actually have six copies but one of them is mine and I’m keeping it to re-read another few times during the next few years!!)
If you are interested in winning one of the five copies of Friendship for Grown-ups, by Lisa Whelchel…please leave a comment at the end of this post! Receive extra chances to win by subscribing to my blog, or tweeting/blogging/facebooking about this giveaway, or by becoming a fan of Heavenly Homemakers on facebook. Leave a separate comment for each entry!
I’ll draw five random winners on Monday!
I’d like to give a big thank you to Thomas Nelson Publishing for this great opportunity to read Friendship for Grown-Ups, visit with Lisa on the phone and share more of her books with my readers!!
This giveaway is now closed…thanks!
