Buoyancy in Marriage

Are You Buoyant?

Unsinkable…ness – Matt’s Thoughts

Do you remember the little jingle “The unsinkable taste of Cheerios, not a lot of sugar to weigh down those Cheerios”?  (The off brands are unsinkable too by the way.)  You push it down with your spoon and it slides to the side and floats to the top in defiance. You cover it with banana slices and BAM it pops up next to the banana slice with arrogance. You struggle to destroy it and all the evil that lies within it by taking it to Mt. Doom in Mordor where the ring was forged and…oh, sorry, wrong ring.

So, Cheerios – and the off brands of it – are buoyant. Seemingly no matter what is done they overcome and rise to the top. Does that describe you? Do you choose to rise to the top, or do you allow circumstances to dictate your mood?  This is a mindset in life that has implications in marriage. People in healthy marriages rise to the top instead of fighting each other.  We achieve this by recognizing who the enemy is, joining forces with our covenant partner and relying on the faithful Lord – the original rotfl.

The enemy is Satan, the accuser*. We are in the trench side by side with our spouse defending each other by building each other up with appreciative actions and words.  Satan wants to tear down our marriage relationship and friendly fire is one of his most effective tactics. In our family a verse we often quote at meal times is, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).  The children think we are directing this teaching at them, but I need this drilled into me to help me keep my aim away from Laura.

On my own I don’t have that unsinkable…ness, but the Lord is faithful and buoys me. It’s a matter of me letting go of my selfishness and living by His Spirit. As with living by the words in James 1:19 this is easier said than done.  If we allow, God’s grace changes us to be more like him day by day.

Lord of the Rings – Laura’s Thoughts

Admittedly, I know a lot more about Cheerios than I know about Mt. Doom in Mordor in Lord of the Rings. Four boys and thirteen thousand (off brand) Cheerios later, I’ve seen the buoyancy of Cheerios a few times.   And yet, Matt got me thinking about the Lord of the Rings.

Our wedding rings symbolically bind us. They represent the covenant we made with each other and to God on our wedding day.

We have two choices:  We can let God be at the center of our marriage, and let Him give us the grace to react and respond to our spouse in a godly way – or we can let Satan creep in and chink away at the beauty of the bond that our wedding rings represent. We can buoy, even when we don’t feel like it, even when it hurts, even when it’s hard – or we can give in to the selfishness that at the time seems the easier choice.

The question we must ask ourselves is this:  In our marriage, who is the Lord of the Rings? Is it God – or is it the Deceiver? Are we allowing God to help us rise to the top, or are we carelessly sinking into a pit of selfish living?

 *Read Rev. 12:9-12 for insight on the accuser and how to overcome him.

Ladies, we know you’re reading here more often than the guys. ;)  We’d love husbands to read this article as well. Please send the link to your husbands, or if it’s easier, we’ve created a downloadable article for you to quickly print off and share. Print Healthy Marriage Tips A to Z – Buoyancy.


  1. says

    Awesome! I’m so enjoying reading Matt’s thoughts – and it’s amazing to me how much his writing “voice” resonates with your writing voice, Laura. You are truly a wonderfully matched set! Thank you for sharing a bit of him with us!! Love, love, this post!


  2. Amy O. says

    Isn’t it amazing that God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)? We can overcome any deceit thrown our way in any situation with the power of the Holy Spirit. But as Matt said, we have must allow God’s grace to change us.


  3. Jaime Christopher says

    I love reading your article on marriage and the enemy. This is so very true on a daily basis we have the choice to live for God or for our own selfishness and let the enemy win. Thanks for the encouraging words. I’d also love to try the products by madeon. We are on a family adventure to Kansas City, KS (my husband’s family lives there). I remember the girls coming back with soo many moquito bites so now I’m really interested…thanks!


  4. says

    Excellent post, and so very true! I have been a ‘silent lurker’ on your blog for a while, but thank you for your heart-felt posts! This was such a great post, I’d love to link to it from my blog. Hope that’s okay! God Bless, and thanks for your wise words!


  5. Heather T. says

    I haven’t finished reading the post yet, don’t worry I will, just had to laugh at the LOTR plug, its my fav movie (movies) of ALL TIME ok I am alright now, back to reading.


  6. Heather T. says

    Great post, I will pass this on to my husband, and really I love the way you kept sneaking in LOTR’s, makes me want to watch it again for about the 20th time, lol.


  7. says

    Our husbands often aren’t as good at relationship skills and they need us to gently teach them and accept them where they are at. They do need to read this kind of stuff more but often many of them won’t and don’t like to be pushed!


  8. Ashley says

    Laura, THIS is why I continue returning to your blog. Yes, the recipes are oh-so-good, but THIS is what sets your blog apart. I love the Christian perspective! Thanks so much!


  9. Amelia says

    I love hard lotion bars! And I would love to try the Bug Block – thanks for the opportunity to enter!


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