I just finished having a most wonderful visit with a friend of mine who stopped by unannounced.
She needed to drop something off for me, and she was ready to say a quick hello and then be on her way…but I’ve wanted more time with her lately, so I made the quick decision to invite her in to have lunch with us.
Immediately after the words, “Come in and have lunch with us!” came out of my mouth…my head began to spin with all of the reasons I might not should have just hastily asked her into my home. Things like:
*We were almost finished eating, and like usual, there wasn’t much food left!
*School had erupted all over our living room floor in the form of books and pencils and notebooks…and all of Malachi’s toys from the morning.
*I was in the process of making tomato sauce, and all of the dirty dishes from that…plus our breakfast and lunch dishes were ALL OVER the kitchen.
*Dirty tomato sauce towels were hanging out in various places on the kitchen counters and floor.
*Fruit gnats were having a party in my bowl of tomato compost. They invited the whole neighborhood of gnats to join them. And…
*For Pete’s sake…what if my guest needs to use the restroom? I’ve gone way too long without cleaning it (anything longer than two days without cleaning the bathroom when you have four little boys is too long).
It’s amazing what thoughts can go through your mind in the matter of 30 seconds isn’t it?
And yet, I resisted the huge urge I had to apologize for my messes. We’d been working hard all day with school and tomato sauce. I did not need to apologize for doing life.
And my friend didn’t see messes. She saw school. She saw tomato sauce. She saw lunch. She saw our life.
And so…in the next 30 seconds that it took for me to come to grips with that…I relaxed and forgot about the messes and sat down with my friend for lunch. And for two hours we enjoyed one another and shared our lives.
And that…is what true hospitality is all about.
More Kitchen Tip Tuesdays here.
Lynn says:
This is so true. I am working on trying to relax more and realize this. People come to visit and enjoy the time together, not to see how perfect our houses are. Thanks for the reminder.
August 25th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Donna says:
WOW!
Great lesson Laura!
You did this:
1 Pet 4:9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.
May the Lord bless U 4 your obedience!
August 25th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Kate says:
Such a great reminder, and one that I’d do well to remember.
August 25th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Kristy Howard says:
Oh my, I needed to hear this, Laura! I tend to get so up tight about my house that I forget what true hospitality is all about… blessing others. Thank you for this lovely reminder!
Kristy @ Homemaker’s Cottage
August 25th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Erin says:
oh, such a great testimony to share. i feel the need to apologize so often as well. thank you for sharing it!
August 25th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Eveline says:
Enjoy the moment! great blog
thank you for sharing it!
!lot’s off fun whit cleaning
August 26th, 2008 at 1:34 am
Debbie says:
I hear you. I made the decision several years ago that I would not miss out on the blessing of guests in my home based on what it looked like. If someone doesn’t want to come back because my house was a mess, I probably don’t want them here anyway.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Sherry says:
I think of all the times that I have wasted opportunities to be hospitable because I was too worried about the house.
Thank you for sharing!
August 26th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Trixie says:
Hello,
I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing!
When I think about it the homes I most enjoy visiting are those that are actually used. Very seldom do I feel welcome and at ease in a polished palace.
It’s so nice to be invited in to partake of a friend’s home and family for a meal or visit. I’m sure your friend view this as such a special time with you:)
Take Care,
Trixie
August 26th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Michelle says:
This has been an area of struggle for me. I am working hard to overcome the need to apologize for living in my home-it’s not easy. However, I once read in a book (can’t remember what book) that when we apologize for the way our home looks, we’re conveying a message to our guests that we really wish they hadn’t come. In the end, it makes them uncomfortable and causes them to feel the need to apologize for visiting.
I realized that it was true-I have visited friend’s homes that were chaotic because they were involved in things when I arrived, but never felt that I was anything less than welcome. Friends are there to see people-not perform the white glove test.
I’m glad you had a good visit-it’s nice to spend time with friends.
August 26th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
amandaxox says:
Amen to that one! What a great lesson and just what I needed. Great blog btw. I’ll check back often =o)
amanda.coxfam.org
August 26th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Org Junkie says:
Ahh this is awesome Laura and very inspirational. I’m not always very spontaneous but the times that I am are usually the best. I should do it more often.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
kristin says:
I am coming out of my lurkdom to say that I should be printing out, cutting out, and laminating this post, and reading it to myself 14 times a day! I am excellent at announcing to other people (and firmly believing) that it is the KINDNESS, the HOSPITALITY, the WANTING YOU THERE that is important — not the way the house looks, or the number of children’s toys on the floor, or the pile of laundry in the back room.
I am horrible at believing it for my own house! Thanks!
August 27th, 2008 at 10:34 am
BarbaraLee says:
And you were afraid she thought you were sitting around eating bonbons & watching soaps.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Laura says:
My dad once mom if he could invite a visitor at church over for lunch. Mom said okay, but she was silently praying “please, God, let him say no. THe house is a mess, I don’t know have anything planned for lunch, please just let him say no.” But God had other plans, and the Harry wound up staying all afternoon, coloring and hiding eggs with us girls (it was Easter Sunday), and we consider he and his wife (he was younger and single when we met him) are close family friends 20+ years later.
Mom told him that story, once, and he said he never even noticed. He was young, single, and in the Army, and just enjoyed being included as part of a family for a few hours.
August 31st, 2008 at 10:42 pm