Learning About Laura, One Story at a Time: A Great Way to Freak out Your Doctor

First I will say…um, Sally…think twice before you read this one. 

Second…any of you who are weak in the knees about any terms one might need to use while talking about labor and giving birth…you too might want to think twice.

Instead, go read something safe and painless like this post.

Now, having said that…for any of the rest of you who are still with me…here is the long awaited story that I promised to tell you about how our third son, Elias was almost born in the doctor’s office.

Prerequisite information is:  My total labor and delivery time with our firstborn, Asa, was a six hours.  With Justus…total time was three hours.  With both of them, my water broke first…then labor started…um, quickly and intensely.

(And for all of you who had 46 hour labors…please don’t start throwing tomatoes…I am just the person who helps the average labor length be what it is…and um, so are you…we’re just on opposite ends.)

Anyway…when your second labor lasts half the time of your first labor…you pack your bags and are ready to leave for the hospital for the birth of your third child about the time you see two pink lines on the stick. 

I KNEW I couldn’t mess around with getting to the hospital…and my doctor should have known too.  (Guess he was just sorta used to the 46 hour labor people.)

So, when I woke up with contractions one week before my due date…I was thinking…”Hm, these feel like real contractions”…but my water hadn’t broken yet…so I just wasn’t sure.  As we got dressed and ready to go…I was deciding that yes, these were real contractions. 

I called the doctor’s office to tell him that my contractions were about five minutes apart…but that my water hadn’t broken yet.  He said, “Well, why don’t you come on in and we’ll have a look at you.”

My mom was already there…so she stayed home with the other boys (who were only four and one at the time…oh, where has the time gone?).

We made the twenty minute drive to the clinic…which, by the way, was across the street from the hospital.  (Thankfully!)

All the way there…I was having wonderful contractions…the kind that make you NOT love being in a car.

But I was freakishly calm…because with my other two, my water had broken first…and with this one it hadn’t…so I thought, “Well…this could be false labor.”  (Matt just smiled and said nothing when I mentioned that.  He had seen these kind of contractions before and the face that I wear when I’m having them.  He was quite sure that this wasn’t false labor…).

So we get to the clinic and and everyone took their time getting me into a room.  Then, once I was in the room…the doctor took forever to come back there.  Matt, who had been dutifully timing contractions (which were 1 1/2 minutes apart by now, thank you very much), was starting to get concerned…because again, he had seen me like this before…and he knew that this baby was coming soon. 

I, on the other hand, was really not thinking clearly…because really…I was just trying to breathe…and to not rip the leather off of the examining table.

Finally, Matt went out and found the doctor and said, “Um, things are getting pretty intense.  I really think you should come check on her now.”

So the doctor strides in with the nurse…and takes his time putting on the rubber glovey thingies…

Then he checks me…goes pale…and says to the nurse, “Let’s get her across the street.”

The nurse says, “How many centimeters is she?”

And the doctor says, “Let’s get her across the street.”

(Apparently he felt that if any of the rest of us know that I was 9.9 cm dilated..we would all panic…)

So Matt pulls the van around and the nurse puts me into it…and we go in through the emergency room entrance.

In the meantime, the nurse at the clinic called over to the ER and said something like, “A patient named Laura Coppinger is coming over right now.  DO NOT mess with her in the ER!  DO NOT ask for insurance papers.  DO NOT make her sign anything.  GET HER UPSTAIRS!”

And then the ER people call the Labor and Delivery people and they start frantically getting my room ready and getting the baby warmer ready…

SO, we walk into the ER (at exactly 9:45 am)..and they throw me into a wheelchair (oh, such a fun place to be when you are about to explode)…and they hurry me upstairs.

Matt and I are looking at each other like, “Is this really happening?”

We get to the Labor and Delivery floor and there’s all these people flying around with blankets and stuff, saying, “Is this Coppinger?  Get her into this room!”

They whip off my clothes, throw on the gown…the doctor comes in with his delivery gear on…

He breaks my water, and the baby crowns.  I push once, we have a head.  I push again, the baby is born.

At 9:58…thirteen minutes after arriving at the hospital.

Another boy…Elias Joel…weighing in at 7 lbs 13 oz.

We call my mom to let her know that yes, after leaving the house only about an hour and a half ago, we have had our new baby! 

Nurses came and went all that day just to see the lady who had come in and popped out a baby (oh, if only it really had been that easy..).

Oh, and would you believe…that I was charged a CO-PAY at the clinic for that visit?  The nerve.