Although my kids are pretty well past this phase (you know, since my littlest boy is the big THREE years old)…anytime I babysit for a littler guy, I’m reminded of how much they’d really rather play with anything BUT a toy!

Place a full basket of wonderful, colorful, super fun toys in front of a baby…and he’ll crawl away to play with….

1.  The trash can

2.  Everything that’s in the trash can

3.  Your important papers

4.  The telephone…and all it’s buttons

5.  A kleenex box  (which, of course, includes pulling all of the kleenexes OUT of the box)

6.  The toilet plunger (freshly used)

7.  The remote control

8.  Daddy’s dirty shoes

9.  His own socks (which of course, go directly to his mouth…making them too soppy to put back on)

10.  Anything that has a wire attached to it and is coming out of a wall

11.  All of the clean laundry that you JUST finished folding

12.  Your favorite dish from your great grandmother

13.  A permanent marker (any color will do)

Unfortunately…I could go on and on…

Kinda makes you re-think how much money you should really spend on a birthday gift. 

Okay…so maybe it wasn’t REALLY thirteen miles.  But it sure felt like it (uphill both ways…blah, blah, blah…)

So here’s my story…um…in list form….for Thursday Thirteen:

1.  Two of our boys had soccer games last night out at our big outdoor soccer complex.   Daddy couldn’t go because he had two other soccer games to referee in another town.   (He was bummed to miss the boy’s games.) 

2.  So, I took the four boys out to the complex myself…where there were many other games going on…which meant I had to park waaaaayyyyyy far away from the gate.

3.  Malachi (age three) wanted to be carried over to our first game.  We made it all the way over there and got ourselves settled in.

4.  Justus played the first half of his game…then ran over to me at half-time in tears saying his tummy hurt and he didn’t want to play anymore.  Because he had been sick all weekend…I believed him.  Enough running around for him.  He sat with me the rest of the game.

(Okay…this is where the story begins to get a little more exciting….um…for YOU…not for me…) 

5.  Asa’s game was next…and of course…while Justus’ game was on THIS side of the complex…Asa’s game was waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy over on the other side of the complex.

6.  The bathrooms are on THIS side of the complex…so I wisely suggested that we all go potty before heading over to Asa’s game.  (Nobody needed to go potty…of course.)

7.  So, we start the long walk to Asa’s game…me carrying Malachi (because really…that’s easier than having HIM walk that far) and with Justus groaning from a tummy ache still…and Elias “taking his time” behind us.

8.  Just about the time I start to think, “Okay…we’re almost there and then I can put down my heavy purse full of snacks…and my heavy three year old…”  Justus gets a panicked look and says, “I need to go to the bathroom.”  (Ah, but of course.)

9.  I got Malachi over to Asa’s game and “forced” him to sit with a friend of mine so that I wouldn’t have to carry him back and forth again…but Elias insisted on going with me…  So we walked alllllllllll the way back to the bathrooms.  While we were there…I insisted that Elias go to the bathoom too.  (Please.)

10.  Justus now feels better and we walk allllllllll the way back to Asa’s game…which of course…had started a long time ago. 

11.  After about twenty minutes of watching the game…Malachi says, “I need to go potty.”  (Of COURSE you do.)  So….off I went with Malachi…carrying him all the way to the bathroom.  (I really was trying to look at this all positively like, “WOW…I sure am getting some great exercise tonight!  SURE am thankful for that!”) <cough>

12.  We got back to Asa’s game…in time to watch some of it… 

13.  And as I was standing there holding Malachi and watching the last of Asa’s game (possibly looking exhausted and pitiful) …one of the other parents came over and gave me his chair.  Never had met the guy.  Wasn’t that so nice?   :)  I happily sat in it until it was time to walk allllllll the way back to the gate….and over to the van…which was of course…about 13 miles away.

The end 

As my ten year old was getting out of the car to go deliver a “Meal on Wheels” to someone…I automatically said, “Be careful not to spill it!” 

And then I realized, “What?  Like he’s going to try to spill it?”

Why do I say stuff like that?

I’m pretty sure I can’t help it.  I often say phrases that really aren’t helping anything…but it makes me feel better to have said them.  (I guess.)

So here are thirteen things that we (all probably) say that are well….silly-ish. 

1.  “Be careful!” 
(Because if I don’t say those words as they are departing from my presence…they’re SURE to trip and fall on their way out of the kitchen.)

2. “How did you sleep?”
(I ask my kids this question every morning…and they always say, “Fine.”  I’m pretty sure they don’t remember how they slept because they were….well…asleep.)

3.  “Have fun!”  (You know…just in case they were thinking of NOT having fun…)

4.  “Drive safely.”  (My kids aren’t old enough to drive yet, but this is especially funny when said to my great aunt and uncle as they climb into their Buick to drive across town…. even though I’m pretty sure they aren’t planning on stopping off at a vacant parking lot to spin a few donuts along the way.)

5. “Be careful not to make a mess”  (Like saying that will help prevent any messes from being made?  If only.)

6. “Why did you do that?”  (”Well Mother, it was because I wanted to upset you and because I was really hoping to get into trouble.”)

7.  “Stop talking with your mouth full.”  (I usually don’t take the time to swallow my bite of broccoli before saying this.)

8.  “Aw, did you hurt yourself?”  (”Or is that blood dripping down your leg from something else?”)

 9.  “Are your hands clean?”  (My kids usually think that their hands ARE clean…therefore, they always answer, “yes”….because after all…didn’t they just have a bath last Tuesday?)

10.  “How many times have I told you to stop doing that?”  (Now, do I want them to give me an actual figure…or do I just want them to stop doing it?)

11.  “Do you want me to STOP this car?”  (”Well, do you mean at the next McDonald’s PlayPlace…or for something else?”)

12.  “Are you ready for some dessert?”  (Are they ready?  I’m pretty sure they were born ready.) 

13.  “Be quiet…and tell me what is wrong.”  (Okay now…should they be quiet?  Or should they tell me what’s wrong?  Can’t do both at the same time.  Tough one.)

Having made the list…I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from automatically saying these things. 

But I’ll try.

Thanks for stopping by.  Ya’ll have fun…and be careful!

Last week, I posted 13 things that I have at least 13 of at my house…

This week I thought I’d post about 13 things I don’t have at my house… (because I am just so clever) (yeah, or just a little bit desperate for material…)

So here you go. 

Thirteen things that I DON’T have at my house.

1.  Baby Dolls

We don’t have a one.  If a little girl comes over to our house to play, she must settle for a light saber.  Ooh, or an action figure.  Surely she could hold and rock a little plastic ninja turtle to sleep…  Nah, usually she just settles for the light saber and joins in with our crazy fun.

2.  Soccer shoes…size 1 

We have about 23 pairs of soccer cleats in all different sizes…because of hand-me-downs…all stored in a closet for the boys as they grow and need a different size.  But we don’t have a size one soccer cleat.  And that’s the size Elias needs this year.  (sigh)

3.  Leftovers 

I think those are a part of our past.  The boys (and their daddy) just keep eating until it’s gone, and then they say, “What else can I eat?” 

4.  Complete sets of crayons

It’s not like this matters too much, but where’s the blue-violet when you need one?

5.  Wii Game System 

But I do hear often of how nice it would be if we did have one.  (The poor deprived sweeties will just have to settle for playing on their PS2, game boys, Leap Pad, Computer….)

6.  Pencils that have a nice eraser on them 

What is it about erasers on pencils that get all hard and funky…and instead of erasing…they just leave a dark gray nasty smudge across the page?

7.  Pens or paper by my telephone 

Or anywhere else when I need them, for that matter.  Who keeps moving them…I’d like to know?

8.  Hair Thingamajiggers   

With the exception of a couple of ponytail holders for my hair…my house is free of bows, barrettes, head bands, and clips.  For our boys…we have a comb…and they use it…on occasion.

9.  Snacks 

Okay, well…I do…but it all depends on when you read this post…because I do, and then they’re gone…and then I make more…and they’re gone.  Right now I do…oh wait…nope…they’re gone.

10.   Completed Scrapbooks   

The future wives of my sons will probably not appreciate the fact that for a wedding gift, I will lovingly hand over to them a book with one newborn picture in it and a little lock of hair…along with a big box of photos…all in random order.   It’s a good day at my house when I actually remember to take a picture in the first place.  (I know…all you scrapbookers out there are yelling at me!  Sorrrrry.  It’s just not my gift.) 

11.  Clean windows 

Although, it is a goal of mine to get busy handing squirt bottles and rags to my boys so that they can be busy cleaning them now that it’s finally spring.

12. Soft playdough 

It seems that when the boys get out the playdough to make me some “lunch”…they never seem to remember to put it back into the container and close it too.  Crusty playdough is just not nearly as much fun.

13.

(Yeah…13 is left blank on purpose.  Get it?  13 things I don’t have at my house….I don’t have a number 13.  Get it?)

(Oh, brother…)

Thursday Thirteen Hub here

Have I ever told you about….

1.  How I burned down a huge barn on our family farm?  (Yes, it’s true…) 

2.  The fact that our third son was almost born in the doctor’s office?  (Ever seen the look on the face of a panicked doctor?!)  (and his nurse?)

3.  The time I had to smooch a guy in front of my entire school… (and my grandma?)  (I didn’t have to smooch my grandma…I had to smooch the guy in front of my grandma…)  (I totally would have rather smooched my grandma…)

4.  The time I wore sweat pants to perform my high school music concert?…And I had a solo?  (I think I chose my black “dress sweats” at least…)

5.  The night I toilet papered the homes of two of my college professors?  (Oh wait, I think I did tell you about that…)

6.  The first time I ever made gravy?…  For Matt?  (And he married me anyway…)

7.  The time I handed my Discover card to my librarian… so that I could check out books…  And I felt SO silly…because she was the kind of librarian who has glasses at the end of her nose and her lips in a straight line…  And then the next week I did it AGAIN!!  (Good grief!)   (Too bad they won’t accept my library card at Walmart…)

8.  The time I accidentally deleted my husbands research paper…the one that was due in two hours…?  (Not my finest moment as a wife and help meet…)  (At least by then, I knew how to make gravy…)

9.  How I shouted a REALLLLY BAD word on a bus filled with people on our college choir tour?  (I TOTALLY didn’t mean to!)  I’ve never lived that one down…  I can’t even believe I just mentioned it…  It is BY FAR the most embarrassing moment of my life.  I’m sure you’re all curious about that one.  I’ll try to muster up the courage to tell you about it.  I still hyperventilate when I think about it.  (Could someone please get me a paper bag?)  (And, quickly?)

10.  How I found $350 cash in my freezer one day?  (and I’m the one who put it there?)  (Hey, it’s one way to make your money last longer…) 

11.  How I made a lady slide on laundry detergent and fall down and hurt her knee at the store one day…?  Oh, the guilt…

12.  The time I shop-lifted?  I SO didn’t mean to!

13.   The time I caused a chemical reaction so strong in our house that we all had to vacate immediately…  (You all know, don’t you, NOT to clean with comet and bleach?)  (At the same time?)  (Inhaling those fumes might help explain why I kept handing my Discover card to the librarian…)

Okay, so there you have it… 

Me…exposed…in all my glory…to everyone…<gulp>

If you want to know the full story on some of these…you’ll have to keep coming back. 

But I’m curious…which of these stories would you like to hear tomorrow?!

See ya then!

More Thursday Thirteen…

1.  A quilt and a good book.

2.  Seeing my kids all sleeping.  (not because they’re finally all quiet or anything like that…just because it’s so sweet to watch them sleeping…)

3.  Seeing my kids first thing in the morning when they wake up.  (See, I like it when they’re awake too.)

4.  Seeing my husband walk in the door after he’s been working hard all day.

5.  Chocolate Chip Brownies

6.  Chocolate Pound Cake

7.  Chocolate Chip Cookies

8.  Alright, alright…chocolate makes me happy, okay?!

9.  Cooking and baking for people.  (Which I basically do all day for this household of hungry boys….I must be a REALLY happy person.)

10.  Watching my boys do something just like their Daddy…it’s so sweet.

11.  Having a perfectly clean house. (Well…I guess I’d better go eat some chocolate.)

12.  Hearing my boys pray.

13.  Reading your encouraging comments.