The commercials that tell me to buy something, do something, go somewhere, treat myself, or indulge because “I’m worth it” really turn me off. In fact, for years, they actually made me rebel against the idea of doing anything for myself. After all, I’m called to serve my family and others selflessly – not spoil myself, take lots of “me time,” and spend money on stuff to make me feel pretty and vivacious.
I still agree with my old way of thinking when it comes to being called to serve my family and others selflessly. Indeed I am. Feelings are fickle, so while I could spend money on something to make me feel pretty, that very same item might make me feel fat and ugly five minutes later. “Me time” can be wasted and unproductive, leaving me more hesitant to serve, instead of refreshing me.
However, I’ve discovered that the me that rebelled against taking time, energy, and even money to care for myself was not actually always being selfless. Much of the time, I played the role of a martyr. With a sigh, I’d tell myself things things like, “Maybe someday when the kids are older, I’ll have time to exercise/write/play games/craft/relax. I must give to my family and others until I drop – but it’s okay. I’m called to serve. I’ll eat healthy when I have more time. I don’t really feel like drinking water or eating fruit. I’ll just grab these five cookies and a Pepsi to pick me up. I hate to leave the kids with anyone else, they really just need me. Someday I’ll have time to myself.” And on and on my thoughts would take me.
While I was deceiving myself into thinking I was being selfless, I was truly feeling sorry for myself and the role I played in our family. More than that, I neglected my spiritual, emotional, and physical health in the name of selflessness.
Ladies – I’m here to tell you that there is nothing selfish about taking good care of yourself. Stop listening to lies and feeling guilt over what God calls you to do for yourself and your health. You are so very worth it! God says so. Your physical, emotional, and spiritual health are vitally important – no matter your season in life. You can not effectively care for your family when you are exhausted, under-nourished, sluggish, sleep deprived, unhappy, dehydrated, moody, out of shape, or depressed.
You know what I discovered after years of believing that I didn’t have time to spend in the Word each day? That I don’t have time not to spend time in the Word each day. That my time is more effectively used, more productive, and more focused when I take time out to sit with Jesus each day. So what if there are dishes to do? I can do them cheerfully later, after I’ve let Jesus refresh my spirit.
You know what I discovered once I stopped thinking I didn’t have time, energy, or desire to exercise? I found that I love exercise, need exercise, and that regular work-outs give me more energy and help me get more done each day.
You know what I discovered once I stopped eating and drinking so much sugar? I think more clearly, sleep so much better, don’t have sugar crashes, and crave more water and nutrient filled foods.
You know what happened when I started listening to and obey God instead of the world or myself? I became a more loving wife, a more patient mother, a more cheerful person, and a more Christ-focused servant.
I still struggle sometimes. I fight anxiety. I get angry. I don’t always get enough sleep. Life isn’t perfect for any of us. Puke happens. Kitchens explode. Laundry piles multiply. Kids disobey. Husbands aren’t perfect. I fail.
But His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I only recognize this truth when I am taking care of myself.
This might mean I’m spending money on health care, good food, exercise classes, or going to my massage therapist. This might mean I’m taking a few minutes to dress in a cute outfit and fix my hair. This might mean I close my door while I’m writing so that I can enjoy uninterrupted time doing what I love to do.
Then, I come before my husband, my children, my church family, my community, and any stranger I run into with a godly focus, a more peaceful heart, a more energized body, and with a clear and alert mind.
Am I worth it? Oh yes, I am. And so, my friend, are you.
What about you? What can you do to take better care of your health? What do you love to do that would be refreshing and energizing to you?
Jessica@RamblingsofaMommy says
Love this! Thanks for the encouragement!
lisa says
I think most women do not put themselves first, me included. I work and put my customers first, ignoring my diabetes and forgetting to eat. I work out 6 days/week but never feel like I have accomplished anything. I wake up many times at night and never feel refreshed. I work full-time but still can’t contribute much toward bills at $10/hour with husband not making money either. I think that i need to be able to say”no” more often to get some rest and peace. Maybe a nap. Focusing on my health would be a plus, too. Spending time with husband and kids might help since hubby says he is last on my list. Working as much as I do has me working every weekend and missing church. I was told by the boss that i had to work weekends. To keep the job, i accepted the terms. I am hoping that DH is able to start up his business that has always been a dream and that I can quit my job to help him.
Emily says
I am such a better wife, mom, and servant of God when I take care of myself but it’s so easy to forget that fact sometimes – especially when life gets “busy.” Thank you for the kind reminder!
Su says
Thanks. I’m still not totally convinced I’m worth it, but I am getting better about it. Maybe I should read this post every morning!
Jenny says
Su,
Read Gods Word every morning. He tells you YOU are worth it the God of this universe. If you have Jesus in your heart your a child of The King. Read Ephesian chapters 1-2.
Blessings!
Jenny
Fletcher says
I was recently diagnosed with stress-induced depression. The weariness and lack of caring about myself has gone on for years! It took outside pressures to finally bring it all to a head. There is always so much to do as a Mom and it’s easy to get caught up in the “I HAVE to do this other thing first” that we can quickly lose sight of ourselves. One of the things I felt I’d lost over the last several years is ME. Thankfullly, I’ve hit the wall and I’m willing to do what it takes to get ME well again.
Watch for those times that you start losing interest in things you’ve always loved; watch for a slow and subtle withdrawal from people. If I’d only realized what was going on sooner, I could have saved myself and my children years of struggles and unhappiness.
We are worth it, Laura, and we need a daily reminder of our value to God, to others, and to ourselves!
Cathie says
I so needed this. Thank you!
Lori says
I needed this today, I have 3 little ones 4 and under, who all need me and I always think I will take “me time” which always end with me feeling guilty because I’m not refreshed afterwards and all I have done is waste time. I need to become a better servant to my family and do it with a good attitude, and I believe that starts with spending time win Jesus, at his feet, being like Mary instead of Martha.
Nancy says
AMEN !
Jocy says
I love your encouraging posts! You are such a motivational person, thank you so very much.
I also love your spirituality, you are a good example to me and others. We are all daughters of our Heavenly Father and He loves us, He wants us to be happy, all we have to do is come closer to Him and have faith that He can lift us up! I love exercising early in the morning and to listen to music during the day :)
Brooke Small says
Amen, Amen, Amen!
I love to make cards and scrapbook – very rarely being able to do it. But getting better, slowly, at making time to do it.
Walking… I love to go walking but need to make daily time to do it. :)
Jill says
I’m definately worth it! How many men have left their wives or cheated and their rationale is, “she just let herself go” or “she got so boring”. My husband loves that I have a life. He wants me to take time by myself to hit the gym, go for a walk, get a haircut, or work on a hobby. Just like I appreciate that he keeps himself up and spends time relaxing with his hobbies.
I think it’s a balancing act. Yes, the woman that says there’s no money for healthy food for the family but drops $150 on a new hairdo, or the woman who has no time for the gym but can spend hours prowling the mall, the woman with children in too-small shoes who has 50 pairs of shoes for herself….these woman don’t understand what “you’re worth it” means.
But a woman who can take time for her own health and beauty – within the framework of the household budget and without taking way too much time away from her spouse and kids is doing it right.
Jenny says
I loved your post today! I am on the journey of trying to take better care of myself because I would love to see my grandchildren one day. It easy in this world we live in today to get so busy that we dont have time to take care overselves. I find when I slow down and not over commit my time that I have time to cook healthy meals and not be so stressed.
Do you have some tried and true breakfast shakes or on the go meal replacement like juicing where you would not add any sugar? With summer coming up hot steel cut oats are not sounding as good for breakfast. I am looking for something else to give me that filling effect if it had a punch of protein even better. :) Thanks for faithfully writing your blog I have enjoyed it over the years! :)
kentuckylady717 says
This is a great article Laura…..you said it all….as they say, you do have a gift of gab :) or should I say a gift of writing ? :)
I too make some time for myself….but I NEVER get on the computer each day, until I have taken time to read my Bible…..I read at least 2 chapters a day ,some days more….hate to exercise, love to walk…need to start doing more of that . Have a great day, your family is lucky to have you :)
Vickie Houser says
Thank you so much for the encouragement. Like so many others, I really struggle with “me time”. Reading your blog is one of the few things I do for myself each day. I read it during my lunch which I take in front of my home pc. I love it and am beginning to feel less guilty spending the time on myself.
Roma says
The best blessing we can be for our husbands and children is a godly woman. That example is set when you spend quiet time at the feet of Jesus first. I am a better person when I spend my day reading, praying and studying HIS word. If our kids see us doing these things they too will emulate our choices. Thanks for the post!
ms.p says
that me. Put everything before myself and let myself go. I gain most of the weight I lost. It is time to take care of myself so I can take care of my family.
Mara says
Hi Laura, I can’t describe how timely this was for me to read. I had a very stressful day at work (the norm lately) and did not get a chance to read my personal email until I arrived home. I had actually been dealing with a lot, and your post really helped me re think my priorities. I took the time to walk on the treadmill this morning and to have prayer time and I feel such a renewed sense of peace and clarity….something that has not been evident as of late. Thanks again…i truly enjoy all of your posts and am so thankful to have been introduced to your blog.
Becky says
This is a great post. I know I’m in the minority here, but I think this applies to single women, too. So often, I feel like people assume I’m selfish because I’m not yet married and don’t have kids; so I must be spending tons of time and money on me, me, me. Because of that, I go overboard in the opposite direction. I always put in extra time at work so that others can go home to their children/husbands/wives. I rarely buy luxuries for myself and will wear my clothes until they are threadbare, but don’t hesitate to buy friends/family nice gifts or pick up the tab if we meet out for a meal. When I join organizations, I end up so focused on taking on volunteer duties that I usually end up missing out on the camaraderie, learning, or socializing because I’m behind the scenes making things happen. Just as you mentioned, I get to play a martyr in my mind when I do this, nobody is forcing me. And, in the last year I’ve realize it’s not helping anybody. I’m very slowly trying to change these habits. I still work hard at my job and will help out co-workers, but I’m trying to not always be the first in and last to leave. I’m trying to take a little more pride in my appearance and spend some time actually fixing my hair and forcing myself to buy new clothes when my others get holes or stains. Thanks for this post and the reminder!
Jennifer says
Like so many of the previous posters, I needed this, too. I desperately want to model this type of self-respect for my children.