A Little Weekend Drama
ByOver the weekend, Matt took the boys to a father-son retreat.
This means I was all by myself for the entire weekend. No one to cook for. No one to clean up after. No one to break up fights for. No one to get to soccer games.
Oh yeah. And there was NO ONE TO CATCH THE SNAKE I FOUND IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!
It was something like 1:45 in the morning when I saw the slithery creature. I had stayed up WAY too late working on the computer, just because I could I suppose. I was getting crazy sleepy, so I got up once more to use the restroom. And that’s when I saw it.
Suddenly I wasn’t very sleepy anymore.
The snake wasn’t very fat…but it was a good foot and a half long or twelve.
I reacted at first by standing in the same place for about ten minutes. And I stood there. And stood there. I could not think of one option for taking care of a snake in my house at two in the morning all by myself. I wasn’t sure if “help I have a garter snake emergency” justified a 911 call or not, but I was thinking not.
Finally realizing that I couldn’t stand there all night…nor could I go to bed knowing there was a snake in my house…I grabbed the nearest shoe. I hear tell that dress shoes belonging to little boys are helpful in removing snakes from a house.
Once I had the shoe…I stood frozen for several more minutes. The snake slithered a little here and there, freaking me completely out.
Then I decided that maybe if I went and got a container of some sort, I could scoop it up and throw it outside. Somehow I mustered up the courage to run downstairs where I found a cottage cheese container.
Yes…a cottage cheese container. I would catch the snake in the cottage cheese container. Using the shoe.
The snake by that time had slithered down several stairs to a landing. The slithering was about enough to do me in. Oh, the slithering.
I decided that I did not have the courage to scoop up the snake…nor did the snake offer to go willingly into the cottage cheese container. I resorted to the shoe.
I threw it directly down onto the snake as hard as I could. Simultaneously, I shrieked quite loudly. There is just something so horrid about throwing a shoe down onto a snake…and then watching it slither into a ball that caused a really loud shriek to come out of my body. It was enough to wake the neighbors. Except that it didn’t. Oh how I wish a neighbor would have heard me and come over to lend a hand.
I tried the shoe two or seven more times. Apparently all I’d heard about little boy’s dress shoes getting snakes out of houses wasn’t true. The snake was not harmed but I was shaking like a little girl (who’d been throwing shoes at snakes).
Finally…finally…I was able to put the cottage cheese container on TOP of the snake, which was now curled up in a ball on the floor (trying to protect itself from the little brown shoe bombs).
I put several books on top of the container so that the snake wouldn’t get out. Then I put a few more books around the side of the container to keep it from moving from side to side at all. And then I put a heavy jar of tomato soup I’d just canned on top of the books. No way no how was I going to take a chance of that snake getting out.
Don’t look now, but there’s a snake in that container.
I then proceeded to pull an all-nighter. It would seem that snakes, shoes and cottage cheese containers in combination have the ability to produce enough adrenaline to cause a person’s eyes to stay open and heart to beat at a crazy pace for hours and hours. There was no sleep happening for me until right about the time the sun came up.
A couple of hours later my wonderful, fantastic Uncle Kenny graciously came and took the intruder far, far away. He also gave me a hug. Yeah, I really needed that hug.
After this experience…all I can say is that I’m just a little bit jumpy. Hopefully someday I will not feel the need to grab a shoe and a cottage cheese container every time I see a shoe lace or electric cord plugged into the wall. Hopefully.
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I’ve just gotta ask: What would you have done? Are you the type who could have just shrugged and picked up the “silly little snake” and thrown it outside? Or are you well…a little more like me when it comes to snakes? :)
I’m not afraid of snakes, so I would probably have grabbed it by the head and carried it outside. The other day, we were stacking firewood and disturbed a snake. I made sure all of the kids got a chance to get a close look at it and explained the signs of poisonous vs. non-poisonous, etc.
Now, spiders. (shudder) that’s another story. Here’s a brief glimpse at THAT horror: http://www.halleethehomemaker.com/2009/08/boys-will-be/
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EEEEKKKKK!!! I’m sure I would have done the same exact thing. However, our German Shepherd may have been somewhat helpful – in the past, he’s assisted in catching flying squirrels in the house, so a snake should be a breeze for him. But I don’t want to find out!
So sorry you had to experience that trauma alone.
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Ummmmmmmmm…Oh My Goodness.
I would have passed out. And I would have needed a large container…not a little cottage cheese container. Like a … storage tub. So I didn’t get so close.
I would also probably now be moving. :) You did great. I probably would have had to call someone.
Yikes.
You were so brave.
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Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!
There was a bird (or was it a bat, which would be worse) in my bedroom once when I was in junior high. My mom and my brother ran around my room with two laundry baskets trying to clap them together at just the right time with the bird in between. I think it actually finally worked. I got a few laughs out of it, I’ll admit.
I shall not (yet) admit to getting any laughs out of your snake experience but if you get ready to laugh about it ever, let me know.
Oh my!
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I wouldn’t have done that much. I would have called someone! :) BUT, we are talking about the woman who every time goes to pick up what looks like a toy snake, kicks it before she bends down to touch it. My least favorite thing of the boys to pick up are their “play” creatures, I NEVER know if they are real or not!
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Oh my.. I laughed SO HARD! I would have done the EXACT same thing, including, but not limited to, staying up until all hours working on the computer while hubby and sons are out of town. I read this out loud to my 9 year old daughter who then said, “she sounds just like you Mommy. Do we have a cottage cheese container?” LOL!
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Oh, you poor thing!
I do not like snakes either! I do not know what I would have done, but there would have been screaming for sure :)
And shuddering. Lots of shuddering.
I bought my little guy a book on snakes just to counteract any fear of snakes that I’ll pass on to him. Hopefully he’ll be around (and old enough to help) when I need him as I do not think his daddy likes snakes much either.
What a night!
Heather
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I probably would have gone for a broom over a little boy’s shoe. Maybe that would have been more successful. However, touching it? I think not.
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oh my goodness! I just can’t believe that happened of all times, when your husband was gone. I would have done the same as you except I probably would have been standing on a chair.
I was so relieved to know that you had someone come get it for you.
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I am not sure what I would have done, probably the same thing. Once, a long time ago, I was cleaning behind our couches and found a scorpion. I sprayed about half a can of oven cleaner on it, covered it with a plastic container and put a hand weight on top of that. Then I picked up the baby and left the house until my husband came home. The couch was still in the middle of the room and my husband laughed, but was very kind and sympathetic…
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I would have found a bigger container or box to put the snake in. then taken that outside and dumped it out into the lawn.
I would have been a little freaked… but would have been calm.
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OMG!!!! I would’ve screamed and called someone to come and get it for me. That’s what I did when I had a squirrel in my house when I was preggers with my son. Run screamming while grabbing a phone then lock yourself in a bedroom just in case the squirrel knows how to turn the doorknob.
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That is crazy–a snake in the house!! I would have screamed–def. not touched it. Actually,I probably would have called 911 :-)
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LARGE container. And maybe a shovel. I MIGHT have been able to bring myself to shovel it up and run outside with it. Maybe.
Yuck. You did good!
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I wouldn’t have done anything, because I would have been outside the house as quickly as possible. I am terrified of snakes, and just reading your post made me tremble at the thought of going home today and finding one… AGH.
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LOL! I can’t imagine if there was a snake in my house… *shudder*!
However, several years ago we were living in a triplex, and one of our housemates came banging on the door really late at night. We opened the door to find mom and teenage daughter standing there in their jammies. They had a snake in their sink- could my hubby please come get it out for them! It was totally freaking them out.
It was at that point that I learned that my husband harbored a deathly fear of snakes! He turned pale and simply said, “I don’t do snakes”. Well, then I was all sorts of annoyed with him, rolled my eyes, and then said I would take care of the snake myself.
So I go next door and find a rather young garter snake in the neighbor sink. Totally creeped me out, but I grabbed it, WITH MY BARE HANDS, and took it out into the street. I had the admiration of the entire neighborhood for being brave enough to tackle a snake.
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Wow! What a reaction! I would have just scooped it up and sent it out. I know a guy who would have scooped it up and made it his friend…a little odd but to each his own! I have a few pet snakes, but I’ll never keep a wild one.
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Oh my goodness…I’m shuddering just reading this post! You are the 3rd person this week that I “know” who has found a snake in the house while her husband was gone!
The way you reacted is exactly how I react when a lizard gets in the house…I absolutely HATE them! I’ve been known to unload an entire can of hairspray on one. By the way, it doesn’t work. They just stick to the floor and squirm around. EWWWW!
I’m glad you finally got it out of your house!
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I woulda cried. And called the burliest man I could think of to come RIGHT THEN. Even if it was 2 AM. Maybe.
I am a wimp. I mighta slept outside.
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If that were to ever happen to me, I would guess I would run out of my house, screaming at the top of my lungs. I would probably drive far, far away and just pray that my house explodes before I have to return to find the snake.
I have a slightly irrational fear of snakes…
Oh, and I would have called 911, or at least the local cop to see if he could help me out of the situation!
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I found another little one in the basement today while I was doing laundry…I will leave out the details of what had to be done. Eric will have a surprise when he gets home for lunch.
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i laughed so hard i had to tell my readers to come here! i have loved your blog for awhile now and this just makes it better!
i would have done exactly like you!!!!
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Ok – you have me laughing hysterically. I am sooooooooooo sorry for your terrible night but your kids are going to be telling this story forever after they hear about it. I would have called my husband, who always has his cellphone with him, for moral support. Then I would have described the snake to my husband. If harmless, I would have gotten a broom and asked my husband to stay on the phone for contiued moral support. If poisonous? Well, there’s a hotel down the road.
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oh my heaven’s! I would have done the exact same thing! I think I would have been freaking out a little more…you handled it calmly in my opinion! Great job!
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I am right with you on the yuck and EEK factor of snakes. I am not sure I would have made it past the shoes and onto the container though. I might have called uncle Kenny in the middle of the night to come help and forego the morning hug just to not have put the container on it.
Snakes are not something I like at all!
Angie
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You handled it better than I would have:)
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This was the best laugh of the day! Thank you! I always said the worst stuff makes for the best stories…and this confirms it! Glad you’re ok.
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With it definitely being a garter snake, I would have grabbed the thing behind the head and thrown it outside. We have garter snakes around our house, and my 4 y/o – who had never seen any other snakes besides the huge ones at the zoo -wanted to play with the cute little snake. Her feelings were hurt when it “heeeed” at her (her word for hissed) and bit her finger – that’s when one of my other girls came in to say 4 y/o had been bitten by a snake. Of course I ran outside to see what kind (because it was also rattlesnake mating season). The snake was small, and definitely a garter snake, but we called the doctor and ended up going in anyway. No harm done.
I grew up in the country with little green grass snakes and garter snakes a common sight, and sometimes we’d accidentally cross paths. My husband is a city boy and won’t even touch a frog – much less a snake.
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LOL!!! Oh that poor little snake! I would have picked him up and let him out the back door.
Snakes are now a part of my life. We have about 5 that live in our yard that we have named and the kids play with all the time. My favorite is one eyed Jake. We also have a large coastal garter snake in the house that my older son has as a pet. He was caught on a snake hunt. Sundays after church a bunch of families get together to spend the day together and who ever wants to will go on an outing to hunt for snakes (also bats,lizards, squirrels, fish…etc) A large bucket comes home for show and tell and after learning a little about what critter we have its let go back where it was found.
So NOTHING surprises me anymore! lol!
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lolololol
You told it funny- but that AIN’T FUNNY!
Once upon a time, when a mouse got in the house, I SLEPT IN THE CAR ALL NIGHT!
How will you ever sleep again? Better still, how will Matt sleep with you clinging to him for dear life?!?!!
And how do you ‘snake-proof’ a house?
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I have been laughing so hard at your story!! (Not AT you – but WITH you) :)
You are my hero – I wouldn’t have had the presence of mind to even do the things you did! I was completely impressed that you took a picture of your snake “trap” to share with us!!! What a fantastic story – this one will be passed along to the grandkids for sure!!!
Thanks for making my day :)
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A couple of weeks ago, we went over to my mother-in-law’s house to supervise while she mowed her lawn…she LOVES to mow her lawn as long as she has company. :) And after the back fence was weedeated (weedate just doesn’t seem right! lol!) my son wanted to put the weedeater in the shed, so he was fidgeting with the lock trying to get it open. I happened to catch some movement a mere few inches from me and by the time I could tell what it was, the 12-14″ long garden snake was directly between my MIL’s feet. I knew I had a choice to make – if I told her she would scream and jump and likely step on it, making it mad. It was there for just a second and then it went to the shed and was inches from my kiddo’s feet trying to get into the same shed (he still hadn’t opened the door) and he was concentrating so hard he didn’t even see it. I calmly said, “There’s a garden snake” at which time my MIL shrieks and my son starts jumping back and trying to see what I saw, but it hid in the woodpile beside the shed. Once my MIL caught her breath, she asked, “Did it touch the side of my leg?” “Yes, it did.” It was a riot – she told me I made a good choice to not say anything until it was past her! It was a beautiful snake and even though I was surprised, I wasn’t scared – a HUGE shock! I used to be TERRIFIED of snakes! :)
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Wow, you did much better than I would have! Any creepy crawly thing gives me the heebie-geebies (sp?).
My husband hates bugs, spiders, etc. too but I keep trying to convince him he’s the man of the house and it’s HIS job to deal with them. When I do kill them, I have to have him pick them up and dispose of them for fear they’ll suddenly come alive while in the tissue :-)
A snake would have sent me packing to the nearest hotel although our golden retriever would have probably tried to play with it.
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My best advice is using grilling tongs. You know, the really long ones? They work pretty good.
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Oh, Laura you poor thing!!! I would have FREAKED out FAR worse than you did!!!! I have a snake phobia (no foolin’) and at the sight of a snake I have a panic attack (not every time, some times I can talk myself out of it :).
My father (in all his theraputic wisdom and sensitivity) tells me that there are snakes everywhere I just can’t see them. Nice.
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I would have left the house.
I am terrified of any snake. Small, large, baby. WHATEVER. I am not a snake person.
I would have died of a heart attack!
I hate snakes no matter how much they eat other things. I can handle crickets, spiders, etc. but not a slimy, yucky snake.
My house would be up for sale.
We have a detached garage and we have a garter snake in there. Guess what. I do not go in there NO MATTER WHAT. My husband can deal with it not me.
You are certainly braver than I am. Hope you never have that problem ever again!
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Uh…yeah…I would have done exactly what you did.
I’m shuddering from the story…and praying I don’t have to ever deal with that situation on my own.
Snakes- ewww!
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I am like you on this one. I have had a small snake in our house before and it was scary to me. We also had bats flying around when I was 9 months pregnant several years ago. Needless to say, my screams on the phone sent my husband home from where he was at in a hurry. :-) My mom used to stand on the table and wait for my dad to take care of mice when we were little. Of course, we thought it was fun, but I imagine that contributed to my fears of things like snakes, mice and bats. I know they are God’s creatures, but I would prefer they stay outside.
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Oh, my goodness. I am horrified for you. You POOR THING!! I would have just died…after exiting the house and waking up a neighbor to take care of it. I feel proud of you. Go rest.
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Oh my gosh Laura!! I totally can sympathize with you! About two weeks ago I was folding laundry at my kitchen table.It was the kids first day of school and I noticed something crawling out from underneeth our kitchen cabinet.It was a tiny baby snake.I called my friend to tell her.I was a little shaken up,but after all it was just a baby.She had said that she had an encounter with a snake a while ago and her husbands friend had warned her that there is usually more than one.Well,just as she said this I saw the mama crawl across our kitchen floor.I screemed so loud and ran outside.(because we all know there are no snakes outside!Lol!)I had told her what happened and that I was planning on staying on our pourch until someone came to get rid of it.After I called our town they sent some really nice men over from the water department to capture it.I thought for sure they were going to find a whole pit of snakes in our basement,but fortunately they just found the one wich had made it`s way into our livingroom.He said it wasn`t poisonous which was a comfort.I will say,I was shaken up for quite a while though!
So,anyway I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.I too have had an encouter with these creepy creatures!!
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I must say, I audibly said “oh! poor little snake!” When I read that you were throwing shoes at it. You see, I love herpetology – espeically snakes. Garter snakes and Bull snakes are my little friends.
If I saw one in my house, I would have picked it up. Garter snakes don’t bite. However, they do produce a stinkly film, which makes them smell dead, so that preditors would not want to eat them. The worst a garter snake can do to you is slime you, and it washes right off with soap and water.
I’d held many wild (non poinsonous) snakes and lizards. They are actually sweet little critters.
Now, poisonous snakes I have no qualms about killing. In fact, a friend brought over a dead rattle snake the other day, and we skinned and gutted it, then had it for supper, LOL.
I have a video of it on my blog – if you are up for trying to desensitize yourself to snakes and guts, that is. ;-)
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I can’t give any advice because this is how I am about roaches. I can’t even stomp one, I just spray it with cleaner hoping it will drown to death. I don’t think I would have survived the night. Thanks for this hilarious story, sorry it happened to you though!
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Yeah, that’s a good idea. I might sleep in the car. :)
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Yeah..I’d have been worse than you sweetie…
I would have been doing my best ‘Sipderman’
imitation from the middle of the celing while shreaking all the while! The whole darned city would have been wide awake..no.. the county!
Keep the shoe bomb and cottage cheese container,books and tomato soup handy..oh, by the way the hero soup looks really yummy!
I think I’ll repost this in a bulletin if you wouldn’t mind on myspace and one day I’ll share my rooster story with you..smiles, Mickie
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I would have been much worse than you, I’m afraid. I would most likely have called my dear old dad if my hubby was out of town…. even in the middle of the night! Yikes…
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It fit in a cottage cheese container?
I had a black rat snake in my house once. There is no way it would have fit in a cottage cheese container. lol!
I guess I would have directed it towards the door…as I have with other (bigger) snakes that have found their way indoors; a squirrel (!) and a few birds…my dh dealt with the one bat we have had (that was as eek! as I’ve gotten…and extrememly thankful that he was home!)
Brooms with long handles and extra large Rubbermaid storage tub lids are very useful items in these situations.
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oh my goodness! Thank you for such a great laugh!
I had a similar situation at bible camp once. All 6 girls were freaked out and up on the top of the bunk beds and I was standing sleepily in the middle of the floor for what seemed like hours before I finally mustered up the courage to just grab it and throw it out the 2nd story window.
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Hmmm, should I tell Laura about the two, yes… two 4-foot bull snakes that my hubby found in our BASEMENT (a cellar, really. we never went down there) when we lived in a yucky old house in Wichita?! I SOOOOOO wanted to move!
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Hey, I love the story! I actually left a spider (I believed it to be carrying it’s babies like the do sometimes. IF you don’t know what I’m talking about, be glad.) in a container just like that for my husband to dispose of.
But the snake, if it was that little? I probably would have caught it and thrown it out. Unless it was poisonous, then I would have killed it, although, in the house–how would one do that?
I did however catch a hummingbird in my hands this weekend. I blogged about it too.
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I found a northern water snake in my garage this summer and became absolutely HYSTERICAL. It wriggled. It hissed. It had a triangular head. Who knew it’s the one southern snake with a triangular head that is not poisonous. Oh, the stress of killing that beast shortened my life by weeks.
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