A Little Weekend Drama
ByOver the weekend, Matt took the boys to a father-son retreat.
This means I was all by myself for the entire weekend. No one to cook for. No one to clean up after. No one to break up fights for. No one to get to soccer games.
Oh yeah. And there was NO ONE TO CATCH THE SNAKE I FOUND IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!
It was something like 1:45 in the morning when I saw the slithery creature. I had stayed up WAY too late working on the computer, just because I could I suppose. I was getting crazy sleepy, so I got up once more to use the restroom. And that’s when I saw it.
Suddenly I wasn’t very sleepy anymore.
The snake wasn’t very fat…but it was a good foot and a half long or twelve.
I reacted at first by standing in the same place for about ten minutes. And I stood there. And stood there. I could not think of one option for taking care of a snake in my house at two in the morning all by myself. I wasn’t sure if “help I have a garter snake emergency” justified a 911 call or not, but I was thinking not.
Finally realizing that I couldn’t stand there all night…nor could I go to bed knowing there was a snake in my house…I grabbed the nearest shoe. I hear tell that dress shoes belonging to little boys are helpful in removing snakes from a house.
Once I had the shoe…I stood frozen for several more minutes. The snake slithered a little here and there, freaking me completely out.
Then I decided that maybe if I went and got a container of some sort, I could scoop it up and throw it outside. Somehow I mustered up the courage to run downstairs where I found a cottage cheese container.
Yes…a cottage cheese container. I would catch the snake in the cottage cheese container. Using the shoe.
The snake by that time had slithered down several stairs to a landing. The slithering was about enough to do me in. Oh, the slithering.
I decided that I did not have the courage to scoop up the snake…nor did the snake offer to go willingly into the cottage cheese container. I resorted to the shoe.
I threw it directly down onto the snake as hard as I could. Simultaneously, I shrieked quite loudly. There is just something so horrid about throwing a shoe down onto a snake…and then watching it slither into a ball that caused a really loud shriek to come out of my body. It was enough to wake the neighbors. Except that it didn’t. Oh how I wish a neighbor would have heard me and come over to lend a hand.
I tried the shoe two or seven more times. Apparently all I’d heard about little boy’s dress shoes getting snakes out of houses wasn’t true. The snake was not harmed but I was shaking like a little girl (who’d been throwing shoes at snakes).
Finally…finally…I was able to put the cottage cheese container on TOP of the snake, which was now curled up in a ball on the floor (trying to protect itself from the little brown shoe bombs).
I put several books on top of the container so that the snake wouldn’t get out. Then I put a few more books around the side of the container to keep it from moving from side to side at all. And then I put a heavy jar of tomato soup I’d just canned on top of the books. No way no how was I going to take a chance of that snake getting out.
Don’t look now, but there’s a snake in that container.
I then proceeded to pull an all-nighter. It would seem that snakes, shoes and cottage cheese containers in combination have the ability to produce enough adrenaline to cause a person’s eyes to stay open and heart to beat at a crazy pace for hours and hours. There was no sleep happening for me until right about the time the sun came up.
A couple of hours later my wonderful, fantastic Uncle Kenny graciously came and took the intruder far, far away. He also gave me a hug. Yeah, I really needed that hug.
After this experience…all I can say is that I’m just a little bit jumpy. Hopefully someday I will not feel the need to grab a shoe and a cottage cheese container every time I see a shoe lace or electric cord plugged into the wall. Hopefully.
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I’ve just gotta ask: What would you have done? Are you the type who could have just shrugged and picked up the “silly little snake” and thrown it outside? Or are you well…a little more like me when it comes to snakes? :)
That was way too funny! I’m one of the ones that would have just grabbed it and taken it outside. Then again, my daughter probably would have wanted to see it, so I would have needed to put it in a container until she was able to see it.
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I’m not afraid of snakes, but I’m also not fond of getting bit, so I would’ve trapped it (in a cup like you did) and would have helped it out the door. :)
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Okay, I have to give you mega kudos for staying in the house with the snake! I hate them, absolutely fear them, and if I ever saw one in my house, I’d bolt out the door even if it was the middle of the night, lol! (We live near a 24 hour Wal-Mart and Whataburger, so I’d go make myself at home there til someone could rescue me…)
And forget about getting close enough to put a bowl on top of it… ^^^shudder^^^ that gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it… yuck!
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Well, we had a flying squirrel in our basement last fall. Yeah, my dh had heard something suspicious in the basement before leaving for work, but didn’t really think he should check it out. So when I went down there and saw a disaster in my laundry room and then rounded the corner to meet face to face with a flying squirrel I screamed and jumped on top of the washing machine. The kids thought it was really funny. The squirrel didn’t really move for a minute. Then he sauntered off and crawled in my husband’s boot.
I then called my dh and he refused to come home. So I went to the store and bought an animal trap. I set it up while my son stood guard with a stick to hit the squirrel if it came out of the boot. It didn’t – all day. I hid upstairs.
When my dh came home we put a box on top of it and then slid the whole thing into a bag and threw it all on the front lawn. The squirrel ran out and up a tree and then flew across our driveway about 30 feet and landed in the back yard and ran away.
So I am not much better than you when it comes to wild animals in my house. I think I would have stayed up all night too. Glad you are OK though.
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ummmm, this doesn’t resemble heavenly homemaking in the least. ;0) But I have no idea what I would have done. I would have screamed, that much is for certain. I think I would have gotten the courage together to go find something to capture it with.
But the ironic thing is that you experienced exactly what I have been worried about the past few days. We came home from going to town on Friday and there was a rather large snake right by our front door… a door that gets left open by my 3 year old way too often. great. Now I not only have to worry about mice and bugs, but also snakes. Glad you survived!
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This was hilarious!!! I’m the kind of girl who would have picked it up and scared my husband with it before tossing it outside.
I’m afraid of spiders, he’s afraid of snakes…too bad we only have spiders around here!
Hope you are well!
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Oh my gosh! Your story was so hilarious because you sound so much like me…except my story was about a MOUSE!!! My five year old trapped it by luring it out with cheese and put a bucket over it while I sat on top of the counter screaming!!! MY FIVE YEAR OLD!!! Then I proceded to call my husband and ask him to drive 30 minutes on his lunch hour to take the mouse out far far away. Had it been a snake…I would have done the exact same thing…or maybe my daughter would have!!!
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haha…I needed a good laugh and this definitely provided it for me!!! I couldn’t believe that Asa was at Midwest last weekend!! What?? You have a kid that is youth group age? Crazy. I don’t blog anymore…just got too busy with everything. I joined a homeschooling group here. There are about 55 moms in the group!
Glad you got the snake…I would have just keeled(sp?) over right then and there. I have a really good spider story for you!
Short version: HUGE black spider in my van after hauling a load of firewood. Knew he was in there while I drove around for a week scared to death that he would show up while I was driving. Yeah…he did…only I wasn’t driving…thank goodness!!!! Fischer said…hey mom there’s a cricket! Out of the corner of my eye I saw the big black hairy beast right above my head!! I jumped into the back seat of the van and Franklin had to pull over and dispose of him. I told him that if he didn’t catch the spider our marriage was over! HEHE…we both had a pretty good laugh about it!
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Um yeah. I would’ve had a stroke. I had a situation a week or so ago when I was working in my music studio, completely engrossed in a project and, like you, I stood up for a potty break. On my way back, I saw what I thought was one of my boys’ plastic lizards on my floor. Now, let me pause and say that I’m not a girlie girl. I can handle myself around critters and I don’t mind a little dirt and some bugs every now and again. But oh my lord, did I lose my ever loving mind when I saw that thing take off running as I stepped closer to it. It ran under my piano, poor thing, as I stood there screaming and trying to figure out what to do. Fortunately, my husband was home and he had a good laugh at me yelling and screaming over a tiny lizard. I say “hooray for you!” based on your resourcefulness. I only hope that the next time I find a lizard in the basement, I’m on one of my cottage cheese kicks! :)
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This is like my worst fear–especially living in Texas! I have done similar things for much smaller creature, so I’m sure I’d go for the old container trick, too. Although, I’ve seen Lindsey remove snakes with tongs, so I might have considered that. Would absolutely have stood staring at it for quite some time. And if my babies were home, and in any danger of being eaten by 12 foot long snake, I would grab it with my bare hands and chuck it out in an instant! ;) (Well, I hope so, anyway)
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Oh, I would have screamed and prayed the dog would have dealt with it, but since he wouldn’t have, I probably would have thrown legos at him.. I ended up with SIX mice in the house while dh was away.. Yeah, six of them. I not only screamed when I found them, but screamed as I tried to dispose of traps. My six year old son rolled with laughter over the whole thing, as did friends who read the blog entries.. all six of them. My dh and his brother had a hoot reading the blog entries from afar too. ;)
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oooooohhhhhhh, I am as freaked at as you probably were, just reading your account! But I did laugh aloud at the picture of your “trap” That is pretty funny. However, I would have been just as scared, and I’m not sure what I would have done. I would like to think I would have slid something flat under neath the container and then carried it outside to release it. Of course after taking pictures of it to “log” the experience. Well, congratulations for surviving your “man of the house” experience, and thanks for sharing your vulnerable moment with the rest of us!
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LOL, you are hilarious. I would’ve been mega freaked out too. I can barely deal with a roach much less a snake. Your a trooper. I don’t know what I would’ve done. Yikes!
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I HATE and fear snakes….oh my I HATE them and am so very scared of them. This weekend we were out playing w the kids and I almost stepped on a huge bull snake. It sent me running and screaming and all the kids stood there watching me as they knew by how much I was running and screaming that there was a snake. The kids then stood there and watched daddy kill the snake while mommy still shaking….I had to go in the house after that! Oh I am so scared of snakes. If I were you I would of had to leave the house… LOL :)
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Laura, we just found a snake in our basement!! Trent saw it first and said Tyler you need to leave now. I was like why what is it? Then I saw this itty bitty snake and screamed and sprinted upstairs! Now I’m just shaking waiting for him to tell me when it’s gone. I just had to tell you!
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I’m sure you are getting such a kick out of all of these responses. I echo so many of them. Your story was hilarious. I love your sense of humor. I definitely would not have slept. I definitely would have used a bigger container, and I DEFINITELY would have surrounded it so it could not move. But that’s just me. :) You did good, and I hope you were able to catch up on your zzzz’s once Uncle Kenny took it away.
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Ok… I 100% totally and completely understand your fear and response, but I too was thinking, “Oh that poor little snake”. :) It was probably just as afraid of you, as you were of it.
Of course I am a science nerd, and I love snakes. They are not slimy! I had a garden snake named Fred when I was a kid. I kept him over the winter one year, then released him the following summer. Such a sweet snake. (I won’t tell you how he would give me kisses on my cheek :)
I also had a spider that lived on the ceiling of my bedroom, when I was a girl. It turned out to be a mama spider, and I never bothered her, and she never bothered me.
To this day, when I find a spider has taken up residence somewhere in my house, I will observe it for a while before eventually relocating it outside when it’s time to clean. I could never kill a spider or snake. Now house flies… if I can get them… they’re dead!
Thanks so much for the laugh, and I hope you never encounter a snake in your home again!!
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Oh my! The responses are as good as your story. You’d probably be totally freaked out if you were here the last time we found a snake. It was outside near the trash can and I used a pair of kitchen tongs to pick it up and put it in a container so we could bring it inside and examine it. Hey – it was summer and just TOO hot to stand around outside and look at a snake.
But, before anyone begins to wonder about the level of girliness around here they should check out the blog I posted a few days ago about the girls and the spider. I still have scratch marks from the one trying to climb me to get away from it, and it’s a miracle the oldest one stayed on that chair with all the dancing around she did. My 17yr old laughed at your story and wished she would have been there to take the snake out for you.
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Oh my goodness! No way would I have picked up that snake either. But I am sending you big pats on the back and kudos for your creative solution. You go girl! You trapped that snake all by yourself! I’m not sure I would have gotten past the standing there frozen part.
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Oh, I’m so sorry that you had to go through this trauma. I would have been scared silly. Thank you for sharing your story – hope you can laugh about it now (or at least in the years to come).
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I am a total outdoors-girl. I love nothing more than to camp, fish, hunt. Few things gross or freak me out…
But I believe that the outdoors should stay outdoors, and when something comes into my house [insert heebie-jeebie dance here] I freak a bit.
I probably would have reacted the same way. The only exception is that once I contained it under the bowl, I likely would have slid a piece of cardstock (or cardboard or something similar) under it, and then carried the whole works outside… and far from my home. (This would have been followed by the mother of all heebie-jeebie dances, and possibly a sip of a grown-up beverage even though I don’t drink!)
Great job!
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I would have jumped back in bed, screaming and crying!! lol
But I would have soooooo called someone! I just would not have the nerve to get close enough to put a container over it! You are braver than I am!!
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I guess a lot of people don’t like snakes lol. My mom lives in Florida, and she’s had lizzards in her home… so an itty bitty snake is nothing.
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I had a snake in my house too! I live in Ohio, so I doubt it was the same snake. I keep telling people around where I live and even the old time country folk have never been so blessed to have this houseguest. We woke up to him, her, it whatever laying in our living room. My husband found it and came to wake me up in his work boots and boxer shorts carrying my swiffer mop. I freaked!!! I asked him what he was doing with the mop and he said he was going to try to wrangle the snake around the pole to pick it up. (He watches way too much TV!)Anyway, I grab a tupperware container and hold it while he chases the thing in. When it moved I felt the blood rush out of my face. I closed the lid and proceeded to run through the house shrieking like a girl with arms flailing. I wonder if Wal-mart sells Snake-be-Gone or something. :)
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oh my gosh, I’m PETRIFIED of snakes. Ummm, to the point that I would still be seeing it today, after 2 days have passed. Jumpy? Just a bit! I don’t know what I would have done. I can just hear sonny boy asking me why I would want to harm wildlife that inadverntly came into the house … … I do know I would not have let that snake out of my sight but also don’t think I would have been able to STAND there and look at it … I’m getting willies just thinking about it.
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I am afraid of unidentifiable snakes. If I was sure it wasn’t poisonous and it wasn’t big, I’d do the same thing with a bigger container like a box and use tongs if I HAD to. What gets me by in those situations is thinking how I am not going to let such a thing ruin me…lol I get good and mad.
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One night I kept hearing scratchy sounds so I finally turn on the nightstand light to check it out. There was a mouse on the computer table sitting on the mousepad. I kid you not, a mouse on the mousepad. Naturally hubby & both kids were gone for the weekend. The only thing in reach was my shoe. Slowly, carefully I pick up the shoe and turn it upside down then place it over the mouse. Yeah, I caught the mouse! Now what to do with it? I grab the other shoe then slowly scoot the upside-down shoe with the mouse in it to the edge of the computer table. Then I slide the shoes together capturing the mouse in them. Now what am I going to do? Go to the back door and throw it out. But how can I open the door with my hands full? I slowly, carefully set the shoes on the floor and mash them together with my foot while opening the back door. Then I throw the mouse into the yard. Yeah! Problem solved, or not. The dogs wake up and bark and play with the mouse, so I go out in my nightgown and try to shush them up. Running around in the dark I step in dog “you know what”. What a memorable night.
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I would have been just like you! We have strict roles in our house: I get the spiders, Kev gets snakes and mice. I would have called someone or spent the night elsewhere. . .You’re a BRAVE woman!
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It’s nice you can tell the story with HUMOR!!! I had a snake in the garage once when I was babysitting a friend’s two. I had 4 children, age 4 and under. I opted for a broom, swatting it to stun it, then turned a 5 gal. bucket over the top. Then I screamed. Then I was able to pull the upside down bucket across the garage floor to the open garage door and SCRAPE it across the gravel driveway until I could FLING it as hard as I could outside and quickly shut the garage door. The snake scurried off, anxious to get away from the moronic woman. Then I rushed inside to check on the kids. The guest 4yo had turned on the water in the sink full blast to wash his hands, the plug in, and left the water running. Over the counter, onto the floor, and my 2yo was dabbing up the water with a hand towel, saying, “Oh, oh,” It was quite a day.
Rather than staying up all night, I would have checked into a resort hotel and soaked in the hot tub. But, you handled it admirably, and your hubby must be very proud of his resourceful woman! You go, girl!
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Oh, I forgot about this incident. How could I forget? About this same time last year, we had a rat snake on our deck. Apparently, they climb *shudder*.I called my husband and made him come home. He got so excited that he measured it, took pictures of it, and put it on his screen saver–eewww!! It was big-5 1/2 feet and big around as well! I have always had a fear of a snake getting in our house. Our friends live on a ranch in Texas and woke up one night to a copperhead curled up in a corner of their dining room. Thankfully, they listened to that still, small voice and discovered it right away. I think about that every time we visit, too!
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O you are so funny!
I am NOT like you and I wouldn’t have just picked it up. :) I would have made a new door in a wall that previously didn’t have one and left the snake there! :) Yeah, I would have found a hotel with a lovely pool!
Your a good woman!
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That’s one of those stories that will be so much fun to tell… later! Probably much later! I’m glad you put it on your blog now though!
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Just the other day I was on my way with my two girls going to playgroup. On the way we saw either a black rat snack or a king snake in the road (two lane, but still active road).
Well, I decided that I would “save the snake.” These types are so good to have around and it would have been run over. So I did a u-turn and parked my van on the side of the road.
I wanted to pick it up. I’ve handled snakes since I was a little girl. I imagined how cool it would be to take the snake to playgroup and freak many of my friends out.
But alas, no cottage cheese container ;-) It was too big anyway – 3 to 4 feet. So I “shooed” it across the road. And a car came up and yes – with my sweet children in the van I held my hand out to stop traffic! What was I thinking? It did however provide some amusement for the drive.
So I might have tried to “shoo” the snake. But inside a house – that might be more tricky. I think a pillow case would be the most effective for catching a snake.
I’m very encouraged that despite your fear – that you did not kill the snake. And after the shoe bombs, I’m sure he’ll be thinking twice about coming into your kitchen again!
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My only experience with a snake in my apartment resulted in me and the dog (hubby was away)standing outside the house with the crowd of locals who had seen the snake. Seems this 6 foot critter had found its way in through a hole in the building and into my place above the window. There was NO WAY I was going back in there! As far as I was concerned, the snake could have the apartment. Finally an old man wrapped the snake around a rake, flung it into the common yard, chopped its head off and threw it in the back of his pick-up. So, it’s safe to say if it happened again..I’d leave the house until someone else took care of the critter. My leaving of course would also include screaming like a little girl and freaking out.
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Oh that’s funny. I love to read your little stories. I can “see” everything. My mother hates snakes too. She has homicidal tendencies towards them if no knight in shining armor is around to save her. I don’t mind them so much but they mind me. Every snake I’ve ever touched has bitten me. Even when the handler has assured me “that little garter snake WON’T bite YOU” Maybe its that sin of the “mother” unto the seventh generation thing. My mother doesn’t have a computer but I might print this out for her. Thanks again for sharing your knowledge and stories.
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I am such a chicken! Last night there was a 1 inch scorpin (sp) under my night stand and I hit it as much as I could with the fly swatted and then it just disappeared so needless to say I grabbed the cat, shut the bedroom door and I sleep on the couch. I have taken a casserole dish several times and covered a roach and stacked it with something heavy. My husband has came home from work with a casserole dish laying in the middle of the kitchen.
Scary
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OHHH!!! I had a basement bedroom years ago. I went downstairs to head to bed, and spotted a “wire” laying by my bed. “Where did that wire come from, what does it go to” i thought. I headed over to investigate, when the wire moved. I froze. Then the “wire” stuck it’s little tongue out at me. I almost fainted. Mind you, the “wire” was only about 7 or 8 inches long. My heart was racing so fast it was about to explode. The wire moved again and i panicked!!! i threw a book on top of the “wire” (snake’s) head, grabbed a plastic bag, picked the wire up by it’s tail, dropped it in the bag, threw it outside, and proceeded to smoosh it to pieces. All the fear and adrenaline made me brave, but after the ordeal I broke into tears. I didn’t sleep but a little that night and i did that upstairs on the couch. My bedroom was moved upstairs the next day. UGH!!!! you go girl, way to be brave!!!!!!
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Oh that is priceless!!! I had a bat in my house and called the police (no not 911) to help. I’m pretty sure the dispatcher put me on hold just to laugh hysterically. I’m actually amazed he made it that long. Anyway they sent a rookie out. I didn’t know a man could run down 4 floors in less than a second!! I have to admit that after being dive bombed by a bat 3 or 4 times and locking it in a room it’s a pretty funny story!!
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Too funny!!! I actually do have a friend who once called the cops while her husband was away when she saw a huge spider in her nightgown (she wasn’t wearing it at the time). And they came!!!
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Wow! Just had that problem an about an hour ago. I was in my bedroom lying down, do I got to take my dog out for his last walk for the day. I open the door and there was the snake. I almost stepped on him. I am not scared of snakes in a controlled enviroment, such as a zoo when they let you hold a snake, but in my apartment thats different. On top of that didn’t have anyone who could get to me at that moment, plus my dog was out in the living room with it. I called non-emergency police they told me to call maintenance, called maintenance, they said call animal control. Finally my best friends fiance came to get it out. I am terrified to go to sleep because I have no idea how it came in and over a period of about 2 hours.
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